Thursday, December 31, 2009

On Appointments and Other Things I Cannot Control

So after my two-day exposition on sin and narcissism, I find myself right smack in the midst of my own narcissistic line of thought...or rather, frustration. Looking back upon the year that is nearly past (as I write it is just after 5 pm East Coast time) I am struck by how this year (as perhaps every year) has been a lesson in things I cannot control. And how sometimes that is good (things turned out better than I could imagine) or bad (my definition, of course, is things didn't turn out as I would have liked).

2009 was the year I left my first appointment. It's a right of passage, for sure, for all pastors. Your first appointment is inevitably, no matter how old or mature (or not) you may be, a time of steep learning curves, gaining your own pastoral identity, and battling demons--your own and others'. For me, 2009 was especially roller-coaster-ish because low numbers of retirements meant little chance for reappointment, and even less chance that a new appointment would be any sort of improvement. I had already felt the call to move on, but I knew that only means so much in a year when, as my DS often suggested, a lot of people felt called to move, but most would not be able to.

Even people close to me suggested this was a bad year to ask for a move (an act itself that took a great deal of tradition to overcome in my own mind). In such a year, a move might not bring a better situation, and in fact, chances were good a move would bring a worse situation. But I had done what I could at that appointment, and the next things that needed to happen at my last appointment would not happen--at least as well--if I stayed. For many reasons. Some of them my own doing, many not.

Saying goodbye is never easy though, and how do you convince people you didn't ask to move so you could leave them but so you and they could both move on and grow? We all processed this differently, and all I can say for myself is that I am more sure now than ever that this was the best decision for all of us.

But all that said, it was (of course) the first week I had accepted I was not going to move that I finally got the call of a new appointment offered to serve as associate to Calvary United Methodist Church in Frederick. The cabinet's concerns about whether it was too close to my last appointment and whether I would accept an associate position (Ken is perhaps one of the best senior pastors an upstart, stubborn gal like myself could hope for--more gracious than I imagine most would be) settled, and a few SPRC meetings later (that's the short story...it was a much longer story on the leaving-end), I buckled down to prepare for the transition. Walking into an associate position is a relatively simple matter, so other than scoping out my new (first) office and filling out some paperwork, I filled my days with pulling together all I could for the new pastor coming to fill the slot that would no longer be "my" appointment but "my old" appointment.

It took me a month or two at Calvary to fully transition into talking about "our church" instead of "your church." It's not easy to change those things overnight.

2009 was the year my husband and I really settled into married life. It was when we got to start together as husband and wife at a new church, meeting people not as that guy they'd met before we married and come to know, but someone people never knew me without. It was the year we traveled together to California (a first look at the Pacific for both of us, and a trip that included a rain-soaked trek from the docks of San Francisco across the Golden Gate Bridge to the tiny town of Sausalito (we decided a ferry back was better than the wet hiked back!). That same trip we explored Napa, and I got to be "and this is my wife..." as we attended the national gathering of United Methodist camp leaders. 2009 we traveled to the beach together for the first time on vacation, and we visited Minnesota, my first visit to where Chris grew up. It was a busy year!

Beginning July 1, 2009 was a year of firsts. And it still is. Getting to now a new church is always different, and always challenging. But it has also been a really exciting time. I have found myself serving amongst people who jump at any chance to serve, and who try really hard to make every feel welcome not just as part of the community but also in leadership. Chris and I find ourselves in a church family where we are looking forward to raising a family, and hope to see many new years with.

Looking back at 2009 makes me tired! And yet as I sit here on the last evening of this year, I am filled with energy and excitement, and can't wait to see what 2010 will bring. Even the stuff I cannot control. Well, perhaps especially the stuff I cannot control. God is pretty awesome, after all.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Other Side

I wanted to come back and say a few more words about narcissism and also say again that while we are constantly struggling with this tendency to see ourselves as the center of the world, this is not nor ever should be justification for anyone to feel worthless or isolated.

Again and again (and most recently in the blog postings of the young man believed to have tried to bring down an airplane with explosives sewn into his clothes) we see that tragic dangers of a person who feels they have no value or purpose. Whether that turns inward or outward in violence, it is equally sad and unfortunate.

In Philippians 2:5-11, Paul quotes what we believe was a well-known hymn of his time when he writes,
5 Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, 7 but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, 8 he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death— even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God also highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. 12 Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed me, not only in my presence, but much more now in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling;


See, one of the key parts of this, of the self-emptying, involved Jesus' knowledge of who he was. After all, what does it matter to give up something you never knew you had? All those game shows where you pick a prize behind a door...there was often more regret when the contestant got to see what they didn't get--otherwise, hey, something was better than nothing.

I think it's somewhat similar when we think of our focus on ourselves. To empty ourselves and commit to follow God, to be filled with God's grace each day of our lives, actually invites us to first know ourselves and our values, and then to say to ourselves something like, "Yeah, I'm pretty cool, but it's not about me. It's about God."

Therefore, we are all met and are called to meet each person where they are. Does a person need to be built up? Let us do so in a way that cultivates their understanding of God's love for them and the meaning of their life. Does a person need to empty themselves? Let us gentle guide one another to see our life's focus is called to be God, and absent that, becomes an endless striving for our own personal gain (a search that never reaches completion).

Too often, we, the Church, have played into the same individualistic tendencies the world proposes. We do the same thing, only with religious language. Check out the number of hymns we sing that use the personal "I". Pay attention as you go through your day to all the ads, manners and patterns in your life that reinforce that we should worry about ourselves, and "ours." It getting pretty freaky, actually.

Then, perhaps in the new year, we can more adeptly re-focus and turn our lives to focus upon God and God's work in the work. To love others and worry about them as much as we obsess about ourselves. Something like that just might, well, change the world.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Our Narcissistic World

I've been working on my sermon for this Sunday. It's one of those challenging Sundays--balancing the church commemoration of the coming of the wise men (otherwise known as Epiphany) with the secular new year. Ha. I just smiled thinking how funny it would be if we made a big to-do about the Christian new year, which starts with the start of Advent. Gathered for Thanksgiving, that Saturday we all stay up till midnight, watch a television show of the Pope or a bishop somewhere...and shout "Happy New Year". Somewhere there is a high-church person who thinks this is how it ought to be. The ball in Times Square is perhaps a bit flashier though... :-)

The start of the new year, on top of all of this, is traditionally a time when Methodists turn back to our covenant with God, one we express through the Covenant in the Wesleyan Tradition (see my earlier post).

In the course of all of this, of course, we are all starting to talk about our new years resolutions.

What is striking, though, is that so often our "resolutions" involve something designed to make our own lives better. Now I'm not knocking that...completely. Losing weight, stopping smoking, etc., all of these things are good and we should do them (and shouldn't need the calendar to instigate such changes).

But doesn't it feel like in the midst of our very me-centered world, this late December time becomes quite the me-fest? Gifts, resolutions, thinking about our year past and our year to come...

The whole lot has got me thinking about how the early church fathers talked about sin...as a focus on self, what Augustine and later Luther would call incurvatis in se ipsum--being curved/turned/focus within/upon oneself.

Developmental experts tell us that babies think the world revolves around themselves (as is perhaps fairly appropriate to think when people come meet your every need). I suspect many people never outgrow that...and that, simply put, I think, is sin. Original sin, even. It's so foundational that we often aren't willing to recognize it as sin. And we come with all sorts of ways to rationalize this self-focus.

Now, let me stick a note here. I am not advocating some sort of masochistic denial of self that justifies being victimized. But come on, just a little, little bit, don't we all sometimes fall into believing (good or bad) that the world revolves around us? That others' action are motivated in response to us, and that the good or bad of a situation can be judged by its immediate affect on our emotions? Okay, maybe not just a little bit.

Psychologists call this (well, in more detailed and more nuanced terms, I am sure) NARCISSISM. And if you read the literature on it, and on Christianity's earliest definitions of sin, I'm not all that sure there's much difference. I'm sure the theologians and psychologists (let alone those trapped between both worlds) would have a field day over the similarities and differences...and whose field has best grasp on the whole thing. But, at some level, I think both hit at the same thing.

I have been even more convinced of this by watching Intervention, a documentary on A&E that follows a different addict (alcohol, drugs, etc.) and their families as the families (with the help of experts) prepare to have an intervention with the purpose of getting their loved one into treatment.

I am not in any way nearly an expert in addictions, nor do I think the show is a perfect sampling of all such situations. But it seems to me that so often, part of the codependency that allows an addict to continue living in destructive ways involve many people (or at least a few key people) reinforcing the addict's belief (self-destructive as it may manifest itself) that the world revolves around him/herself. The beginning of the healing process always involves (usually after some significant counseling for the family) the line being drawn and the conclusion being shared with the addict that, basically, the world (more specifically their families' lives) will no longer revolve around the addict. Nothing short of that will bring healing. For anyone.

I won't even go into all the theories of how a person's upbringing can actually cultivate narcissist tendencies...since I do suspect there is probably great variety of professional opinion on this matter, and at any rate, it seems to go against how so many children in the US are raised, and thus we might all naturally reject out of hand. In stark contrast stands parenting advice from the likes of Susanna Wesley, who for all her "old-fashioned" (and at times perhaps inappropriate today) advice rightly pointed out that parents can play a major (perhaps THE major) role in helping their children learn the world does not revolve around them--not by harsh means, but indeed, by loving support that allows the child, but the grace of God, to develop a greater sense of the world and each person as a valuable child of God.

At any rate, it's all very interesting, and I suspect I will be exploring the similarities and differences between these two approaches (the theological look at sin, and the psychological view of narcissism) for a long time to come.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmases

Every Christmas is a little different, and this year is certainly no different for me. Church, family, weather, etc.--changes in any of these affect the whole mix. Let alone changes within all of them!

This is my second go-round "first-time" at a church. The first year is no so much the hardest, it's just the most disorienting. Everyone else knows the little details, and it takes time to learn those. Silly mistakes are apt to happen since knowledge of things are merely intellectual, passed-on, not experienced. For example, yesterday I sent an e-mail telling everyone the Christmas Day service is in the chapel. It's not. It's in the sanctuary. Simply but unnecessary mistake, born of having a ton of details racing around in my head and not enough space in my brain to sort them quickly enough!

The disorientation aside, it's also exciting. Very exciting. Though the build-up to Christmas Eve has seemed a bit quiet to me--mostly, I think, due to snow forcing the cancellation of our Sunday services--we've been busy this week, and I think, I hope, all is ready. I don't have a whole lot to do DURING the services (which is itself a bit disorienting), but I'm looking forward to being part of it all.

Like any first-time, perhaps getting through, and enjoying as much as possible, is all one can expect. Next year this will all be familiar, lived-through experience, and a bit more natural to me. For now, I'm trying to slow down, enjoy the process, and try to keep everything straight! 24 hours from now, we'll see how that went!

It's also interesting to be in that in-between phase of married but no kids yet. What is the appropriate Christmas practices for such a couple? Chris and I are still figuring that out, and it changes each year. Our trip to Europe is our Christmas gift to each other (slippers would be nice, the Eiffel Tower is definitely better), but we have been busy picking out gifts for family. Our tree is up, and living room fairly well decorated, but I never quite got around to the rest of the house. As a young adult, I have yet to match the early-morning Christmas wake-up on my childhood, and I suppose I grew to associate fatigue with Christmas morning a bit too much :-)

I suppose most of all, this Christmas has seemed a bit slower paced, a bit calmer. that's not a bad thing, it's just different than most I've had. I have no doubt the frenetic pace I once knew will return soon enough. And perhaps I've already grown so used to it that what others may call frenetic is normal for me...like I've built a resistance to it. Who knows.

All that said, if there is any day that remain hectic for me, it is and will always be Christmas Eve. I've got some more ribbons to finish for the youth for the 7 pm service, then Chris and I will load up tubs of cupcakes, and random other things we need and then head into church for the long and busy haul of four services. How completely wonderful!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

January Newsletter Article

I will write again today, but since the newsletter came out, I figured I'd post that article here as well:

I consider myself a third-generation denominational immigrant of sorts. You see, my family is one of the many in this area whose United Methodist roots trace back not to Wesley and English settlers, but rather to Otterbein and the Germans who become known (after several mergers and splits of their own) as the Evangelism United Brethren Church. It was only in 1968 that we became Methodists—we like to say we “united” the Methodists, in fact!

Many in my grandfather’s generation (the ones who led the EUB Church through that transition) remember how they often found themselves more familiar with Wesley and Methodism’s roots than many of the Methodists they joined. Perhaps the EUB Church’s interest in Wesley was a replacement for that which they could not know about Otterbein (tradition has it that he ordered nearly all his papers destroyed before or shortly after his own death). So we EUBs have, I think, a vested interest in continuing to tell forth the stories of Wesley.

One of the practices that I am happy has now become part of our shared tradition is what our United Methodist Hymnal (#607) calls “A Covenant Prayer in the Wesleyan Tradition.” Indeed, it is our practice to return to this prayer at the start of each new year. Adapted from John Wesley, the prayer reads:

I am no longer my own, but thine. Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee, exalted for thee or brought low for thee. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing. I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal. And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it. And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.

For me, these words speak not only of a personal commitment, but also of the very faith and commitment that makes these words a part of my tradition. For the EUBs to let go of their own self-identity took a great deal of courage, no doubt strife, but also a confidence that our stories are not about what we do, but about what God calls us to do as part of God’s ever-unfolding kingdom. One Methodist leader in 1968 said the Methodists would swallow up the EUBs. And perhaps they have. But that was never the most important issue.

I think the example of our EUB forbearers indeed lives out this covenant prayer, and gives us all guidance for how we can live these words ourselves. As we begin 2010, are we focused on where God is calling us—content to do, be, or have whatever God wills? Are we confident that God will be with us even as we enter new arenas? Are we willing to live out God’s call to empty ourselves that God might fill our lives?

New Years resolutions are great, but they are very small things compared with a willingness to once again commit ourselves to do, be, and have whatever this day may bring, that by humbling ourselves, God might be able to do incredible things. I pray that each of us—and all of us together—might be able to live up to the words of this prayer in this new year. In so doing, we just might offer as powerful of a witness as those who have come before us.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Snow

As I write this, I can look out our window and see our house is surrounded by snow-covered fields. Even our driveway, though passable and plowed, is still snow-covered. The concept of driving ON TOP of snow is very foreign to the Marylander in me, but my Minnesotan husband assures me this is reasonably safe, and at any rate, he's been the one driving on it!

It's so disorienting having not had worship Sunday! Between the snow, and the concern about people being out near church or even digging out of their own driveways, and the fact that a snow emergency in Frederick eliminates all our on-street parking, meant there really wasn't any other choice. I don't know how it is for other people, but certainly for me, my week leads up to and follows after Sunday worship, so any disruption to that schedule just puts me off-kilter.

That being said, I must say I love this snow. For one thing, it's made my husband a lot more Christmas-y! It's hard getting his excited about Christmas when all around it just looks...brown.

Also, I've rediscovered a love of sledding. The question for us was where to sled--there are so many great hills around camp. We finally settled on the hill close to our house--and after two days of using it, our sled run has gotten REALLY fast...next time we use it will likely launch my husband into the trees at the bottom of it. :-)

We were excited that Gary, my husband's father, was able to make it in last night. He'd driven from Chicago (where he'd been visiting family) and we weren't sure if the weather would allow him to come straight through, but not-surprisingly, it turns out the worst of the roads were close to us!

It's definitely a different experience being on a church staff for Christmas. Having other people doing a lot of the different parts means I can really focus on the specific things I've got on my plate, and still have time to spend with family. Though there is also a lot of planning I'm working on for next year---which is really exciting stuff and I can't wait to see things develop!

I've got a few more tasks yet for Christmas Eve (including making more ribbons for the youth since they were a bigger hit than I'd anticipated--confused? Come see what they're for at the 7 pm service!)...and I can't wait to celebrate Christmas Eve at Calvary. I hope to see you all there! And maybe snow yet on the ground...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A Christmas Letter from Jesus

My Grandfather, who is a retired United Methodist pastor, recently forwarded the e-mail below out to a bunch of people. Sadly, I cannot correctly cite it since all authorship was missing, but with that in mind, here it is.

--------------------------------

Letter from Jesus about Christmas --

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up... It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5 Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there.. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :

I LOVE YOU,
JESUS

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Calling All Calvary UMC Young Adults!

Calling all young adults at Calvary UMC! Chris and Sarah Schlieckert (i.e., me and my husband) would love to get to know you better and hear your ideas for ministries with young adults at Calvary UMC. Over the coming months, we will be hosting a series of gatherings for young adults, and we want to start with some small dinner before the end of the year (don’t worry if you can’t make one of these—there will be more and other types of gatherings in early 2010). E-mail me (pastorsarahumc@gmail.com) to sign up for one of these dinners. We invite you to bring a side dish to share. Main course, drinks and dessert will be provided!

Tuesday, December 8 (6:30 pm)
Tuesday, December 15 (6:30 pm)
Thursday, December 17 (6:30 pm)
Saturday, December 19 (5 pm)

All of the dinners will be held at the our home in Knoxville, MD. Space is limited (by, you know, the size of the house), so it’s first-come, first-serve. Contact me for more information!

Please feel free to pass this invite along to anyone who might not have received it but who might be interested.

Prosper the Work of Our Hands

This week i have been reading through the daily Advent readings appointed in the lectionary--and which we included in the study guide for this year's Adult Advent Sunday School class. (Follow the link HERE)

For the first few days of the week, the three-a-day readings included Psalm 90. You know, one of the really cool things about scripture, and I think one way we understand the Bible as be living, is the way we find new nuances or meanings each time we read the Bible--even the same scripture. I have read Psalm 90 before, but what really grabbed my attention this time is the very end of it: "Prosper the work of our hands."

I have to admit this this has been a somewhat overwhelming week for me. Nothing bad, but there has just been an avalanche of things to do, issues to ponder, and meetings to attend. I've gotten home after 9 a couple nights (and after 8 the other night so far this week), and after a while that really starts to get to you. I've been shorter with people, especially my husband, and I have relied upon every stress-management tactic I know to stay focused and somewhat balanced (I've had some really good workouts this week!). Fortunately, this intense pace is not the norm. I mean, there's busy, then there's frantic. And this first days of this week were the latter. The good news is things are calming down somewhat...the bad news is I know the pace will be more hectic than normal--as it always is--from now through Christmas Eve. And that's fine. It's the pastor's version of the Superbowl :-) We train all year for this...:-)

In the midst of this though, those words "prosper the work of our hands" have really been encouraging and supportive. You see, some days, once I get my schedule and to-do list laid out, the hours fly by and sometimes I reach the end of the day and wonder where all my time went. All of us have those days. There are days when my work seems trivial, and the tasks minor but necessary. There are days when it is hard to see the fruit of all the business. Those days are days it is good to be reminded that what we do (in fact, ALL we do) is only significant because it is done in the name of Christ, and only by the power of the Holy Spirit do our efforts create any lasting and beneficial impact. We could be the greatest and most efficient at whatever we're doing, but it means nothing if God is not at work in and through what we're doing.

Think 1 Corinthians 13...the part about if I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but have not love...

The incredible thing is that we are not independent contractors in this. No. We are part of God's work, and God is able to take our focused days and our hectic days, our major accomplishments and our small victories...and yes, even our failures, and prosper that. All of that. Make it all into something that matters, that helps build up God's people and kingdom.

One of the truths about life, and certainly about ministry, is that we do not always see the results of our work. We do the best we can, and we trust God to make of our best something that matters.

Today, I'm hoping to slow down a bit at least. And in the midst of the never-ending to-do list, to be grateful to be part of what God is doing. And I pray, with the psalmist, that God will continue to prosper the work of our hands.

Friday, November 13, 2009

VISION

I'm about to head over to the sanctuary for my final practice for Sunday's sermon. People often ask me how I can preach without notes. Well, practice, practice practice (and of course, sometimes I do leave stuff out...the trick it to keep going!).

I'm really excited about this sermon (I love to preach, so I get a bit dorky about it and such). I'll be walking us through the new vision statement--Calvary seeks and invites all to become disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of our community and our world. I'll be explaining what we're already thinking of (a lot of which you can read on my blog) but also pointing out what we have yet to do. For example, we need to set some goals and in a more specific way, the exact vision we have now. Our overarching vision may be transforming our community and our world, but what would that look like?

I came (back) across a quote from Andy Stanley, a church leadership writer, "Everybody ends up somewhere in life. A few people end up somewhere on purpose. These are the ones with vision." (Visioneering, p. 8)

I think that's the crux of this issue for us. Calvary will end up somewhere. 5 years. 10 years. 50 years. Something will have happened. But we want to get there on purpose. We can't control life, that's true. But we can certainly influence our lives and Calvary's future in powerful ways.

Let me propose a few ideas I have, to get the conversation going...and invite you to share your ideas with us! I'm using as a guide for this the principles of SMART goals, which our conference uses when setting personal and corporate goals:
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely

I believe Calvary can and should:
-Average over 500 in worship attendance within the next five years.
-Have at least three projects that we are active and deeply engaged in that transform our community.
-Have at least two projects that we are actively and deeply engaged in that transform our world.
-Involve 60% of our worshipers in some sort of small group.

Those are some ideas. And some, honestly, we're not very far from. But to really accomplish we would need to figure out how to get there (and, honestly, the middle two are probably not the easiest to measure). But it's a start, and there are no doubt more, as well as ways these can be drawn out even future into the future. What do you think?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

To become a disciple of Jesus Christ

I have to admit it's tempting to just turn to video blogs from now on. No typing. Say whatever comes to mind. But, I think perhaps it is indeed a good thing to have a bit more deliberation, at least from time to time. So, here I am, back to old-fashioned typing. At least until I can get my video editing skills polished up...:-)

My progress moving through Calvary's vision statement slowed more than I would have liked, but I want to pick back up with the next section of it..."to become disciples of Jesus Christ."

Now first, let me preface this by saying that this one statement I think mostly captures, well, Christianity, at least the living-out part of it. So there's a lot packed into that. Who is Jesus? What is the meaning of the title Christ in reference to him? What is a disciple, and why would this Jesus have any? What does it mean for us to be his disciples, and when do we know we've accomplished that? The questions go on and on.

I want to highlight, briefly, a few thoughts though:

BECOME
I think this idea of becoming is really quite key. I hope it reinforces for us that we're always in progress. At a recent meeting, after several questions were answered by saying "it's ongoing," it almost become a point of humor. But you know what? At our best, we are ongoing as disciples. Always growing, always becoming. So at the heart of this, I hope we remember that this is a process, that all of us are at different points, and that in this life we can never say, "Now I've done enough."

DISCIPLE
Merriam Webster defines a disciples as: "one who accepts and assists in spreading the doctrines of another" or a "follower". There are other definitions, but they all refer to Jesus' disciples, and as my mother made sure I learned, you should never define a word with itself.

My understanding of disciples is more than this, based on what I've learned from my studies. Being a disciple, especially in Jesus' day, was a big deal. It didn't happen overnight. You see in the gospels how Jesus' disciples traveled around with him for three years. It's like apprenticeship meets fan-status.

Too often today our understanding of being a disciple suffers the fate of being cheapened and relegated to the one or two hours we spend at church on Sunday mornings. But being a disciple is about a lifestyle, a way of living that testifies to the one whose message we have adopted and proclaim. One of the challenges for us, as for Christians of all times and places, is to really flesh out what we mean by being a disciple. Does it include worship? Study? Service? Fellowship? Sharing? Outreach? Yes. All of those. Our discipleship is only really progressing when we don't limit the areas God can have, but in fact constantly expand our understanding of how we can live out our discipleship.

JESUS CHRIST
Okay, this one is, well, major. The early church father, great councils of the church, and every subsequent general of Christians have both challenged and clarified our understanding of Jesus Christ. So, well, I'll refer you to them. But that's not lightly. We stand in the line of generations of people whose reading of scripture, life together in faith, thinking through of God and God's promises, and sharing together in the legacy of the faith, have all shaped their lives. In the United Methodist Church, we talk about the Wesleyan Quadrilateral (scripture, tradition, reason, experience). Our understanding of Jesus DOES quite deeply shape everything else we do. This is an area that needs much greater depth as well, but for now, check out this summary on the UMC's website (there is a lot more out there, so let me know if you're interested in a specific aspect of this).

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

ALL: the footnotes

Okay, here's the follow up to my last blog. Because there is something that we begin to infer when we talk about ALL. Sure, we say, hurray for ALL. Let's reach all people. Off we go...

...only to learn, if we haven't already, that you cannot be all things to all people. Really, you can't. We are finite creatures, and the truth is, some people just are not going to connect with you. Or me. That doesn't make you or me, or them, bad people. It is just a fact of life. It doesn't mean we aren't caring or compassionate, or always seeking to share God's love. It does mean, for example, that someone who has overcome an alcohol addition themselves may be (not always, but often) better able to relate their faith in God to someone in the throws of an addition.

Abraham Lincoln once said something like this: You can please some of the people some of the time all of the people some of the time some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time.

That, I have found, is quite true. When it's pleasing people or connecting with them. We also know this from study, time and again. We may not like it, but it's true. We can either fight against this, and proclaim it's untruth, or accept it and decide to work with it.

Here's an example. Experts tell us that in terms of church, especially new church starts and attracting new people, pastors can really only effectively and consistently bring in people 5-10 years older or younger than themselves. That doesn't mean that 20 year olds only grow under the pastorates of thirty and twenty year olds. But it does mean that we should accept the fact that a fifty year old pastor probably cannot, on their own, increase the young adult population of their church all that much. Now get a younger clergy, staff or lay person involved, even under that direct leadership of that same pastor, bingo. It of course depends on the personality of that pastor, but your chances have just gone way up.

All of this is to say that what we as a church family ought first to do is take stock or who we are. We can change that, but we need to be honest with ourselves first. The default attraction of our congregation will be people who are similar to us. What would that be? We need to figure that out. Let's start with this...take a few moments yourselves to honestly describe yourself. Your age, race, culture, economic status, length of living in Frederick, on and on. Do you have kids? What activities do you enjoy? Humans are attracted first to people most similar to themselves. There are a lot of caveats to this, of course. And the group that most defines us may be different. For some it's their faith, for others their race, others yet, their education level or economic status. SO don't even assume you know someone's key identities. But do be honest about who you are and who you connect best with.

We cannot, sad as it is, be all things to all people. We CAN be Christ to all people, but not everyone will be attracted to us. That's okay. There are reasons you are part of Calvary and not another church family. But let's get really clear on who we are, so we can really reach out to those people who are looking for something we have to offer, so that with them we can also grow more diverse within the community that God has formed here at Calvary.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

ALL

The next word in our new vision statement is ALL. Here is an interesting word indeed!

Think about it. This is an issue for us just as it was for the religious leaders of Jesus' day. And there are a lot of complicated arguments and questions people will ask.

On face value, all is, well, all. It's a basic word, and we know what it means. But now take that same word and apply it to who God loves, who is doing what they should, who we WANT to seek or invite, and suddenly a simple word raises lots of reactions...many of them fraught with emotion.

Think back to the story of the rich man's banquet I referred to in my posting on INVITE. I think this really pushes to have a very broad (and in fact basic) understanding of ALL. Those on the roads and in the alleys were the ones who came to the party...because, indeed, the others would not come.

But it doesn't stop there. Jesus' entire ministry was about broadening everyone's understanding of who were God's people. Jesus was thoroughly Jewish, but he and his disciples sometimes pushed the envelope with the religious purity laws. Jesus was interested in relationship...primarily the relationship of people with God, but also with one another. And usually when we start limiting our understanding of ALL, our relationships become, to some extent, broken.

As a closing thought for now, check out this video of a song by Mark Miller called, "Draw the Circle Wide" and think about your understanding of who it is we do (or should...or perhaps should not) seek and invite. Where might God be calling us to widen our circle? How can we be in relationship with others even in the midst of perhaps disagreeing with some of their choices?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

INVITE: a note

Just a follow up note to the blog I just posted. You also need to be in relationship with a lot of people if you ever hope to have the opportunity to invite someone to church. Many Christians (many people, in fact) are friends with people very similar to them. This means many of your friends attend Calvary or some other church already. Did you know that while in a new church start it takes about 2 people to get one new person, in an existing congregation it takes dozens, even more than 50 perhaps? I think part of this is about excitement level, but part is also about who those in the church spend their time with.

NEVER enter a relationship with anyone with ulterior motives. Don't befriend someone then drift away just because they don't come to church. That is not an authentic relationship. But do try to find new ways to meet people and to get to know them. If the opportunity arises, you can invite them...but never let that overshadow your relationship with them. Be Jesus first. Be a member of Calvary a distant second.

INVITE, Part 2

Hmm...so my second INVITE blog did not, as promised, come last week. Sorry about that! I am still trying to get on a more routine blogging schedule. Some weeks are good, others, well, there are always those weeks from time to time...

I want to share some thoughts and questions to close out our thinking on INVITE. Last week I wrote about some of the foundations of the idea, and so today I want us to really connect this idea with our ministry at Calvary.

I think the biggest two roadblocks we have to inviting people are these:

1. Having something we're excited about so that we want to invite them.
Let's be honest. It's way easier to invite someone to something you're confident they'll really enjoy than something you just think they'd like ok. Here's an example: we've got charge conferences coming up this Saturday at Calvary. In addition to our own, we're hosting something like 25. I am not, honestly, a hard-sell inviter for charge conference. We've changed the way they're done in this conference, and have stripped the reports to bare minimum. The District Superintendent doesn't preside at even the majority of charge conference, so it's no longer an opportunity for people to interact with the DS. It is important that people come, but unless there is some controversial issue to be decided, it's hard to justify inviting a parent to miss their kid's soccer game or something to come. It's am obligation thing, not particularly exciting.

Church is the same way. If we are inviting people because we have some sense they they have an obligation to go to some church (and so hey, why not ours?) then it's going to be more difficult to get ourselves to invite, and our invitation will be, well, lame. On the other hand, if we're super excited, it will show and we will be a lot more likely to invite someone. Therefore, our "inviting" has to do with our entire ministry. And why we purposely can use special events as an entry for new people. Your input is helpful for us as well. Is there something happening (or not happening) that if changed would make you even more excited about what's happening at Calvary? If so, let us know! Unfortunately we can't do everything, especially all at once, but we can do a lot. Sometimes we do or don't do something simply because no one has ever suggested another option.

2. We don't want to be one of those people. You know the ones I mean. The hard-sellers. The Christians will bullhorns on street corners (or the ones who might as well have one). All of us have our stories about run-ins with the forceful, aggressive "evangelists". Watch the film Jesus Camp. It's pretty intense for some people. I still can't figure out, though, how we think this sort of hard sell is going to make people want to come be one of us. After all, isn't that, essentially, what we're asking them?

There's this implicit side (sometimes it's not even implicit but evident) that comes out in these forceful attempts...like if someone doesn't agree with us they're going to hell. And for most of us, we don't want people to read that into what we say when we invite them to church. All we may mean is, "I like this place and these people, and I think you might too." But we worry they'll remember all those forceful Christians and think we're doing the same thing.

How to fix that? Well, first off, don't walk around with a bullhorn. Second, if someone doesn't seem interested, don't pressure them. Remember it's God that works in people's lives, not us. If you keep being Christ in your life and to that person, they will see that. But don't be afraid to offer your invitation, just make sure you are doing so in an authentic way. Be in relationship with someone before you suggest they come to church (except in certain circumstances)...after all, isn't that how you would want to be approached? How likely would you be to attend a political rally for a candidate if some random person invited you? How much more likely if your good friend and neighbor invited you.

This is pretty basic stuff. Just be yourself. Act like you would with anything else in life. If you're excited about your relationship with God and your involvement in the congregation, inviting people will come a lot more naturally.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

INVITE, Part 1

As we continue discerning our path together as a congregation, today I wanted to address the second key word in our new vision statement: INVITE.

Luke 14:16-24
16 Then Jesus said to him, "Someone gave a great dinner and invited many. 17 At the time for the dinner he sent his slave to say to those who had been invited, "Come; for everything is ready now.' 18 But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, "I have bought a piece of land, and I must go out and see it; please accept my regrets.' 19 Another said, "I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to try them out; please accept my regrets.' 20 Another said, "I have just been married, and therefore I cannot come.' 21 So the slave returned and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and said to his slave, "Go out at once into the streets and lanes of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.' 22 And the slave said, "Sir, what you ordered has been done, and there is still room.' 23 Then the master said to the slave, "Go out into the roads and lanes, and compel people to come in, so that my house may be filled. 24 For I tell you, none of those who were invited will taste my dinner.' "

This parable of Jesus, often called the Parable of the Great Banquet, touches powerfully on this word INVITE. How many times have we, like the first guests, turned down an invitation because we had something else to do. I mean, on face value, we might say, "Well, it happens, things come up." And that's true.

I remember when Chris and I were rounding the corner on wedding planning and our ceremony and reception were only days away. We had done a respectable job getting an RSVP from everyone, and we did the seating chart, etc. Of course, there are always changes, people who can't come, people who want another guest, you know.

My uncle Ken and his family ended up not being able to make it because a hurricane was hurdling towards their home and his wife had elderly relatives there to look after. That is a good reason. But then there were the people who just, well, didn't show. Even people we had spoken to recently. There weren't many of those, and to be honest, we could've guess who would flake out. But it was, indeed, infuriating.

We can all begin to imagine the host in this passage and the anger and frustration at the response of his first invited guests. They all had something else to do. Jesus of course told this parable to and about the Pharisees, illustrating how thos who might first be expected to be the favored or chosen ones had, themselves, removed themselves from the party. They had become so self-important that they missed the point.

So the host invited everyone else. All the people that no respectable person would ever invite. I imagine it was quite a wild party!

This is precisely, though, that same message we need to hear today. God's invitation is not for the "best" people...but for all people, especially the ones we might not first think to invite. What does this mean for us as we think about how we invite and who we invite? It means the people God is calling us to invite may not be on their way to us already. They may think we don't even want them. Or, they may have been told directly they're not invited.

At In the Street last week, we had a sign at our booth that read, "What if church was a verb instead of a noun?" It drew some curiosity, and some people came and asked about it. Young people were especially intrigued. As I was standing there with others from Calvary, a group of rather hip young adults/older youth walked by, and I could tell were reading the sign. I asked them if they wanted a magnet (we were handing out magnets with our worship times, etc.). They said no, but as they walked by, one young man walked up to me and said, "I'm gay. Could I come to your church?" I responded "Yes." and before I could say anything else, he nodded and continued on with his friends. The suddenness of our interaction was disconcerting, but even more so was the reminder that this young man had perhaps experienced not invitation but exclusion at the hand of some Christian(s) to ask that question.

Let's be honest. We're often much better at listing off who we don't want to invite than who we do. At those times, we are more like the Pharisees than Jesus. But it doesn't have to be that way.

God calls us to be part of God's Great Banquet--the coming of God's kingdom. We not only get to attend, but we get to help invite! To go to those people and places that others might walk past and share our excitement and God's love with them. And invite them to their place at the table.

I will write again later this week about invitation, and suggest some more specific questions for us all to think about. For now though, I invite you to think about these:
1. What was the best invitation you ever received?
2. Think of a time you were somewhere that you felt very unwelcome. Describe that experience.
3. What was the last thing you invited someone too? Describe that experience.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Calvary UMC Kitchen Update






You have no doubt noticed and heard about all the work being done to renovate our kitchen at Calvary! Completion of the project is expected in the coming weeks, and all ready, it's looking like a kitchen again. Check out these pictures taken yesterday to see how things are looking!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Four Questions

At last night's Church Council, we discussed and approved the statement coming out of the Visioning Retreat. There was a great deal of discussion around whether it was a mission or vision statement. If we say our mission is simply to make disciples, then this is a flushing out of that, which begins to point at more concrete goals.

To remind you, the statement is:

Calvary United Methodist Church seeks and invites all to become disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of our community and our world.

In fact, we could even more concisely summarize this by saying:

SEEK. INVITE. TRANSFORM.

This is just a beginning, and the hard work lies in putting flesh on these bones and making this a reality and continued calling for our congregation.

To begin, I invite you to think around four questions, both for the ministry area(s) you may be involved with, and for our congregation as a whole:

1. What are we already doing that does this?
2. What are we doing that, if changed a bit, would do this?
3. What are we doing that does not do this?
4. What could we start doing that does this?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

SEEK

So...I said I would start working through the statement that came out of the Calvary Visioning Retreat. I am leading the devotion for tomorrow night's Church Council meeting, using the first word from the statement (after "Calvary UMC..."): SEEK(S)

Here goes...

SEEK

Merriam-Webster offers the following definitions:
1 : to resort to : go to
2 a : to go in search of : look for b : to try to discover
3 : to ask for : request
4 : to try to acquire or gain : aim at
5 : to make an attempt : try —used with to and an infinitive

Luke 15:3-10 (NRSV)
3 So he told them this parable: 4 "Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it? 5 When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders and rejoices. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, "Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.' 7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. 8 "Or what woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? 9 When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, "Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.' 10 Just so, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTIONS
1. When was the last time you earnestly SOUGHT something? What was it? Describe that experience.
2. Who was the last person who SOUGHT you? Why? Describe that experience.
3. Both Jesus’ parables as well as his life demonstrate the importance to God of seeking the lost. Describe a biblical example beyond this passage that evidences God SEEKING.
4. Who in our community is being SOUGHT? Why?
5. Who is God calling you to SEEK? Who is God calling Calvary to SEEK? Why?
6. What would have to change in your life and the life of our congregation for you/us to truly SEEK these persons?

A FEW ADDITIONAL/RELATED RESOURCES:
• “Leaving Ninety-Nine,” by Audio Adrenaline
• General Board of Discipleship’s Evangelism page (www.gbod.org/evanglism)
• Foundation for Evangelism (www.foundationforevanglism.org)
• Resources from the Foundation for Evangelism (www.evangelismresources.org)
• The Frederick News-Post (www.fredericknewspost.com)
• The Gazette (www.gazette.net/frederickcounty)

Friday, September 25, 2009

When the Going Gets Rough...

In our world, our nation, our community, our church and our lives, each day brings signs of hope as well as concern. In many of these situations, it can be easy to get our heads stuck in a very negative place.

On the flip side, when we change the ways we think about the challenges in our lives and communities, just that change in thinking can signal and cause a change in those actual situations. The change may not (and usually is not) immediate, but just like we often speak of "seeing the writing on the wall" in a negative sense, it is also a wonderful feeling to "see the writing on the wall" when things start to turn around.

In fact, this is one of the ways that theologians describe the life, death and resurrection of Jesus---God's kingdom is not complete, but the writing is on the wall and we know how it ends (even if we don't know when). Some even compare it to D-Day--the war wasn't over yet, but it was clear who was going to win.

I hope you are seeing the writing on the wall for positive changes and outcomes in your life, at Calvary and in the world around us. And meanwhile, if you're still wondering how you can be part of a positive, constructive influence, check out this article from the Alban Institute about "What Not to Do in Turbulent Times":

http://www.alban.org/consulting.aspx?id=8378

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

In Totally Unrelated News...


If you're on Facebook, you got to see the ongoing long (with photos!) of my husband's ER visit last night after a Kickball injury! Basically, he was running to first, and pulled his right hamstring. His pain and the fact he'd heard/felt it "pop" made us concerned enough to visit the ER. The folks at FMH were great, and we were fortunate to make it into the "Fast Track" area right before they closed.

Chris is fine (relateively) and just has to take some pain meds, muscle relaxer, ice his leg and take it easy for a few days. In fact, this morning, at least he was already feeling a lot better. I couldn't resist, though, a picture of him with his new crutches. :-)

All joking aside (and really, I can only joke because he's going to be okay), as Chris and I were driving home last night (thanks to our friends Steve and Jennie who swapped cars so I didn't have to drive manual all the way home in the middle of the night!) we were discussing how grateful we were to have insurance.

Our visit was pretty basic, all things considered. Other than a co-pay for the visit and meds, we had everything else covered. But we were reminded how different such an injury would be for many other people. Catching this early and getting Chris meds no doubt will speed his recovery. In addition, he is fortunate to have a job that allows his not only to take some time off now, but also to work without straining that leg more. Many people do not have that luxury. Some wouldn't have gone to the hospital because they couldn't have afforded it. Others would have had to work through the pain (likely making it worse) or risk loosing pay...or even their job. We are truly blessed.

I have to admit I am not an expert on the health care debate. There's no good excuse...all I can say is I've been busy with life and haven't had the chance to really look at all the difference policies. But I do wish that everyone had the same opportunity Chris and I had last night--to get help when a problem is still small, and to start getting healthier without also having to worry about loosing money or making the injury worse.

I hope our nation's leaders can find some sort of plan (even if it's not perfect and, like anything, needs to be constantly revised) that offers everything this same opportunity.

October Newsletter Article

So, this applies both to the newsletter and this blog. Below, I've pasted in the October newsletter article I've written. I suspect it's too long, so once Joyce lets me know how much too long, I'll fiddle with it, but since I posted my July article, I figured I can just keep this going!

Also though, during October, I'll be doing a number of my blogs in relation to this new statement we came up with--providing the Church Council likes it too of course--so I invite you to check in frequently to see some of my thoughts on the various aspects of the statement (mostly how the words become actions) and to share your own thoughts and ideas!

___________________________

In early September, nearly two dozen leaders and members of the Calvary UMC family gathered to discern together where God is calling our congregation to go. Who God is calling us to be.

We knew that no such gathering is ever complete. Indeed, to try to determine some path for a large group without every single voice is necessarily inadequate. But we needed to start somewhere. Many of you took the time to complete a survey about your experience at Calvary. These results helped us identify both areas of strength and also areas for growth. A great deal of work remains to be done.

I wanted to share with you, however, what we did discuss and agree upon.

We learned some interesting things as we looked at demographic information about our area. Our retreat leader, William Chaney (our Annual Conference guide) provided us with four Percept demographic reports: 1 mile radius from the church, 3 mile radius, five mile radius and ten mile radius. Here are some highlights:
• We live in the midst of a community that is more diverse than most of the United States.
• Within a 1 and 3 mile radius of our location, we are surrounded by a large population of “Young and Coming” persons, generally between the ages of 25 and 48. These persons are not only younger, but also more educated and more affluent than the national average. Within the mile closest in to Cavalry, this difference is extreme.
• As the reports extend out into the 5 and 10 mile radius areas, the population looks more like traditional families, but still the report classifies a disproportionate segment of the population as “Affluent Families.”
• Our community’s focus seems to be mostly on “Hopes and Dreams” and while they do have some preference for a slightly traditional church style, they primarily seek recreational activities from a religious community.
• In all four of the reports, the largest age-class is that 25-48 group.

From the surveys that about fifty members of the Calvary community took, we were reminded that we have a lot more to do to improve communication within our church family. Many responses indicated that we have not helped the congregation be well-informed about what we are already doing. The surveys also identified some other areas for growth, including on-going discipleship growth and focus for all persons as well as actively and wisely pursuing the development of new programs that reach our congregation and our community. We have already begun developing plans to address these areas in the coming year, and we will share those ideas with you as details emerge.

Since beginning my time at Calvary, I have spoken with many of you who are excited about all the Calvary has to offer and who are anxious to see us really coordinate all our ministries well with a common vision and direction. Our discussions at the Visioning Retreat were a start. We came up with a new mission statement for Calvary. Benjamin Franklin is said to have declared, “Words may show a man's wit, but actions his meaning.” We are to be a people of actions, not just words. The statement we came up with summarizes, we feel, the sense of the congregation. However, it demands not emphasis on its words but rather serious prayer and discussion about its implications for all that we do. I invite you to join us during the month of October in prayer around these words as together we discern how God will make these words come alive in and through us.

Calvary United Methodist Church seeks and invites all to become disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of our community and our world.

To read and join in an online dialogue around this statement, visit Pastor Sarah’s blog: http://divinepassive.blogspot.com.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

What We Don't Talk About Enough

...Okay, that could mean a lot of things. Really...there are a lot of things I think we ought to talk about more...though for many of them, there are good reasons, like they're difficult...

This week, my heart sank when I learned about a very good friend who has experienced some light bleeding 6 weeks into a pregnancy. Right now she's on bed rest, and waiting (unless there is a major change) to go back to the doctor next week. I hadn't know she was pregnant till I heard she was on bed rest (she and her husband were waiting till after the 8 wk appt to tell most people). As I sat with her yesterday, I could only imagine how she must be feeling---this excitement she's waited for (we all have!) is now marked by anxiety.

The good news is the baby had a strong heartbeat in both ultrasounds she had done this week. All things considered, the doctors sound optimistic, and I pray (fervently) that this all resolves and the rest of the pregnancy goes well and smoothly.

This has made me recall a luncheon discussion I attended while at Duke, though. The topic was miscarriage--we'd had a classmate who was pretty far along then miscarried. She and some of our professors formed a panel to talk about their experiences. I had NO idea how common complications (like minor bleeding) or beyond that, miscarriage are. Many of the women said they hadn't either, and they felt very alone.

This doesn't just affect the mothers either. Fathers are deeply affected, and all people are affected in different ways. I'm not an expert on this by any means, but I just wanted to bring this up, so we can all think about it, perhaps learn a bit more, and when we have opportunity, be there to support those in our lives who have faced any of these circumstances.

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/bleedingduringpreg.html says:
-Studies show that anywhere from 20-30% of women experience some degree of bleeding in early pregnancy.
-Approximately half of pregnant women who bleed do not have miscarriages.
-Approximately 15-20% of all pregnancies result in a miscarriage, and the majority occur during the first 12 weeks.

Those are pretty high statistics--much higher, I think, than we generally think they'd be. The fact is, all around us are people who have suffered the loss of a child. And often, we have not, in the church, done a great job supporting them. We don't know what to say (as if there are any words that could take the pain away), and memorializing those children lost before birth is often not done well. I have heard, though, of churches who have memorial services once a year, specifically inviting those who have lost children, including especially through miscarriage. This, if done well, can provide a meaningful time for the families. It also, I would imagine, opens the conversation a bit at the church about both the joys and challenges or pregnancy, and perhaps could help support those couples who may or may not face miscarriage, but at least, like my friend, do face anxiety when complications arise.

What do you think?

Friday, September 11, 2009

September 11, 2009

So I have to admit that each year, September 11 sneaks up on me a bit more stealthily. September 11, 2002, I was anxious, like, I think, many others. I wondered if there would be copy cats. Each year since, the events of that September day have gotten further and further from the forefront of my mind. Except when it comes up. I wondered how I would be affected this year. I didn't have to wait long.

On my way into work, I was listening to Hot 99.5, and they did several pieces about the anniversary. And right as they played one tribute audio clips, I drove past the Frederick News-Post headquarters, where they are flying a large flag from a tall crane. I started to tear up, and all of a sudden, the memories came back. They came though, this year as each year, with a little less emotional force, but nonetheless, packed a punch.

I remember that morning. I was a senior at Gettysburg College, and I was working in Residence Life, in charge of one of our freshman/sophomore buildings. I walked out into the commons room, as I often did, to say hello to our housekeeper. She was taking a break, watching a morning news show. The first plane, I think, had already hit, and once I saw, she and I both expressed sorrow for the pilot. We remembered the small plane that had hit the WTC before, and it was only as details came in that we learned otherwise. We said, "What a horrible tragedy." And then the second plane hit. I remember that the anchor on the network we watched said, "Were we replaying that clip, or did another plane just hit?" Like the rest of the world, that was the moment we realized this wasn't a terrible accident.

The rest of the day was a fury of meetings, talking to students, etc. I walked the halls, catching students as they returned from their classes, or woke to head out. First I asked if they'd heard what happened at the WTC. Then, because I quickly learned we had so many students from the NY/NJ area, I asked first if they knew anyone who worked at the WTC.

I remember that one of the RAs I supervised was devastated till about mid-afternoon. Her fiance and his brother both worked for the same firm, whose offices were above where one of the planes hit. They were new, maybe even interns. They were always in the office, and always by that time. It wasn't till later in the day that she could finally get ahold of him and learn they had, for the first time ever, been sent out of the office to a meeting in Brooklyn that morning.

I remember another RA in the building beside mine who we learned, days later, had been the emergency contact for her aunt and uncle. Her father was out of the country, and they'd only been able to get a hold of her. Her aunt and uncle were on one of the planes.

I remember all the stories of people who shouldn't been at the WTC that day but weren't. I remember hearing the accounts of the emergency personnel through their children and neighbors who were my classmates.

Most of all, I remember my astronomy lab that evening. You see Gettysburg decided to let teachers make their own decision about classes, thinking people maybe needed some routine. And so my regular lab went on a scheduled. And for the first time in decades, we got to see the sky without planes. It was bittersweet. And honestly, I hope it never happens again. But it was quite a thing.

I hope you are all remembering, and celebrating all who have and continue to sacrifice to make our freedoms possible. And I hope we continue to strive to embody all the ideals we proclaim at our best. This ought not be a day of anger, but one of remembering loss, remembering we are not alone, and committing to live and lead so that our children never have these memories.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Waves

My husband and I just returned from a few days down near Assateauge/Chincoteague. For those of you who didn't have to read Misty of Chincoteague in elementary school (sadly, my own husband suffered such a fate), Assateague is home to wild ponies who roam the wetlands and beach. Generally, you're lucky if you catch a glance of them on the road heading on to Assateague's beach front, but the hoof prints you'll occasionally see in the sand evidence that the horses (probably when the tourists have done home for the day) also roam the waterfront.

My grandparents have a little place in a trailer campground on the mainland, so I've been visiting the quiet beaches there since I was a child--and once even got to see the pony swim!

While I was reminded this week of how different things can seem when you're a child and when you're an adult, one thing I did realize was that playing in the sand, and watching what water does is fun...well...any time.

While our stay was marked my clouds, wind, and even rain, we did manage to make it to the beach a few times. Wednesday, we headed out, pails and shovels in hand, to build a sand castle. Five minutes in, as we both realized we had no idea where to begin, we both admitted we couldn't remember the last time we'd built a sand castle! We made a good go of it, but the biggest fun of the day was when we gave up the building part, and just worked on digging holes, seeing the water fill it, and watching what the waves could do.

Today, as we packed up, we headed back to the beach one last time, since Chris was sure that the high winds would mean big waves. Boy was he right! It was crazy! In fact, driving into the parking lot at the beach, it almost looked like the waves would wash over the sand and we'd get to see how well our Matrix would float!

It was pretty incredible to watch the waves. I could do that all day. To see what the water had the power to do. See see that the waves were so unpredictable, but unrelenting. There were at least a dozen sermon illustrations right there in front of me! Even just leadership illustrations--like how a wave that crests too early may look cool but as little effect on the shore. Or how the biggest waves were preceded by the largest flowing out of the water. On and on.

All of this made me think about the Visioning Retreat we had last weekend for Calvary UMC. I thought it was pretty awesome, and has the potential to have INCREDIBLE impact on our ministry. It's just a start, but it's an important one. And like the waves this morning at Assateague, I know the greatest force will come from our constant, and continued efforts to focus our energies and keep our momentum.

Last weekend, we came away agreeing:

Calvary United Methodist Church seeks and invites all to become disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of our community and our world.

It's a simple statement, and there are a lot of questions that we have yet to flesh out, but I'm really excited to see where this wave takes us, and how each wave will build upon the next as we seek to live out God's vision for Calvary, and indeed, for each of our lives!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Kickball and Getting Old

My husband Chris and I are officially members of a kickball league. Really! Jerseys, game schedules, umpires and all. I thought it would be fun, and a way to meet some people from the Frederick area. I'm sure it will be.

But after two practices and with our first game tonight, we're also finding that all of a sudden, we're not 18 anymore!

Now don't get me wrong. We're very blessed, and that's for sure. But I think everyone has that moment where they realize they won't always be in their twenties. And as I turned 29 in July, and Chris approaches the same fate in October, we're definitely face to face with this.

What really brought this home is kickball.

Last week, our team (of mostly inexperienced players who last played kickball in second grade and had no idea there was such a thing as a regulation kickball) gathered for our first practice. We had a good time, though it was already evidence that knee and hip injuries would affect our team. But even our practice took it's toll.

Let's just say that I bought our first even heating pad after that. And the good news is Chris' back is now pretty much better...for now. We spent the week bemoaning getting old. Wondering when it was that our bodies couldn't instantly recover from a beating, and being sure we were the only ones!

Sadly, but perhaps not surprisingly, as our team gathered for practice again this past Tuesday, we found that at least half the team had been struck by something. One guy had his fingers taped (I could've guessed that...he made one catch we'd all winced at). Others were sore. Others, well, we were a regular bunch of walking wounded. And those that weren't already injured mostly pulled something during THAT practice. My leg is still tweaked, and one woman pulled her groin so bad she just stood in the outfield for the rest of practice hoping that ball would come directly to her.

It's pretty funny, really, and everyone is a good sport. Our team just wants to have fun, so we'll make the best of it.

But it really got me thinking about (at least my perception of) how I used to be able to bounce back so much easier. Take more chances. Not be worried a sprint to grab a kickball would affect my walking for the next week!

I also realized, though, that this increased chance of injury also probably helps protect us from doing stupid things. Now there's a fine line between making wise choices and just not ever taking any risks, but there's also a (perhaps not even so fine) line between doing dumb stuff just because and making thoughtful decisions.

There has been a direct correlation, in our house at least, between our need to keep Tums stocked and our thinking twice about what snack to have at 10 pm. I drive slow at night, because I darn well know the deer like to stand in the road. Even, as I learned with the help of a guard rail and at the cost of totaling my car, on 340. Grown up still have to wake up for work, so shows on late are just better when DVRed. Dishes don't clean themselves.

We could all list the lessons we've learned over the years. Many of them are ones we've learned the hard way. And you know, as time goes by, you just realize that with some things, there's just no reason to take a risk ("Is it expired?" In our house, if you have to ask and an answer is not easy, then the answer is YES).

So...perhaps the very thing I thought would get us active and meeting people and staying young is also the same thing that has most powerfully reminded us that we're getting older. That's okay though. We are. And we know enough to play hard enough to be proud of our effort, but not find pride in limping around the office because we ran head-on into the short-stop. We'll leave that to the younger folks. And we'll remember to bring water, a first aid kit, and perhaps even some Bengay and ice to tonight's game...:-)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tuesday Mornings

I love Tuesday mornings. I mean, there's always the chance they'll be horrible, but you know, generally, they're really energizing for me.

You see, I take Mondays off. Like anyone, there's always the twinge of regret Monday night that I can't sleep in every day or generally be lazy with my husband, but Tuesday morning comes, and I'm off to the office.

What has been happening at least thus far Tuesday mornings at Calvary is pretty awesome. I come in, with the goal in mind of catching up, and I end up spending the first hour or two of the day touching base with the other staff, asking questions and tossing out ideas that have been marinating in my mind since Friday, or after talking with people Sunday, and I see what their thoughts are.

Tuesdays are the days I learn a lot, and the days that ideas really start to take shape. Tuesdays are possibility days. And with the whole week left to flesh out things.

This morning, I spent some time talking with Bob, our Financial Secretary (and general go-to-guy) about budgeting, giving, etc. I had some questions about the Sunday counts, what information was where, and what patterns were. A few years ago, I would have been lost, but after a bit of hands-on experience, now I just keep wanting to learn more. We talked about visioning (we have a visioning retreat coming up for the church) and priorities for the congregation. Very interesting.

Of course, I spent the morning touching base with Joyce, our Administrative Assistant, about topics to numerous to name. And I talked with her and our youth pastor, Katrina Marie, about how our sanctuary and worship can be more friendly to people with hearing impairments. I learned about something called a "telecoil." Never knew. Now I'm totally intrigued.

When I finally sat down at my desk, I saw the e-mails about the kickball schedule (YAY!) for the team my husband and I have joined for the fall to meet people in the community, and I talked with one of the talented visual artists at the church to schedule a time later in the week to have coffee to discuss ideas for a sermon coming up in September, and just generally ideas to incorporate visual arts into what we do.

All that in two hours! That's why I love Tuesday mornings!

Now...off to follow up on all these ideas and tasks...what a cool start to the day, and how amazing to see all that God is doing in all these situations!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Power of a Simple Conversation

It seems like everywhere we look these days, we're reminded of the power of words...in a bad way. The scenes coming from the health care town halls remind us how words (if shouting can really be called that) can create havoc.

At the same time however, I've been reminded this week of the power of simple conversations. This morning, I had tea with Jill, a new member at Calvary, and also the new director of Families Plus, a non-profit in Frederick. We talked about a lot of things, and just had a great talk (well, I enjoyed it at least!). Towards the end of the discussion, the idea came up of having an etiquette dinner for area kids, hosted by Calvary. Jill has access to some grants and to the kids, and we have space and people, I think, who can help. We even thought of trying to get a chef from one of the great local restaurants to cook. I'm totally excited about this, and look forward to seeing how things move forward. I think it could be really awesome. And it just kind of came up in conversation.

So often, it seems, perhaps because we're so busy, we don't take enough time to talk to people, no agenda. I understand that--we're all trying to get things done. But the sad thing, I think, is that in coming into conversations with pre-conceived ideas of what we want out of those conversations, we miss the magic that just happens when people get to know each other. That Bible passage that talks about God being present when two or three are gathered? I think it should be amended that God is ESPECIALLY present when no one is trying to put forth their own agenda.

Let's be honest. We go into more conversations with an agenda. We may not stand up and shout like some of the people at those town halls, but we come with our minds made up just the same.

Maybe, just for a bit, we can all try to just talk with each other. No agenda. No plans. Just get to know each other. In the midst of that, God will, I am sure, do amazing things.

Friday, August 14, 2009

261 vs. 3

This morning, in the midst of trying to work on my sermon (it wasn't piecing together smoothly...and I've learned you can't force that...you have to let it happen naturally)...I finally clicked on a video for a link I saw on the Alban Institute's Twitter, for a one-hour video of a lecture by Brian McLaren: http://www.emergentvillage.com/weblog/everything-must-change-in-one-hour

I've read some of his stuff, and heard him speak before, so I wasn't sure if it would just be repetitive, but it's really good...you should check it out.

One of the (many) interesting points McLaren makes is that the word "Christian" only appears in the New Testament 3 times...and generally with a negative connotation. However, the word "disciple" appears 261. He then goes on to talk about and ask whether we are more concerned about making/being Christians or making/being disciples. Indeed, I think this is a core question today.

We've often, in the Church, gotten to good at the trappings of the faith, and complacent in our living. Disciples, though, always keep learning and growing. That's who they are. I think it's sad but true to say that far more people are concerned about being good Christians than being good disciples of Jesus. And I think that's a really major difference.

Earlier in the video, McLaren also relates an experience a couple decades ago when working with some youth/young adults at a camp. He was supposed to lead a devotion, but wasn't prepared. So what he ended up doing was first, using a large pad of paper, asking the young people what things concern their churches, what their churches are talking about. Things like whether women could speak in church, etc. came up. Then, on another piece of paper, he asked what the young people themselves were concerned about, what they talked with their friends about. Things like overpopulation, global warming, etc. came up. And McLaren says he was struck by two things (1) That there were no things in common between the two lists and (2) as a youth pastor, his job was to raise up young people to spend their lives arguing about the first list.

Again, sadly, this is all too true of an observation.

Check out the video and let me know what you think.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

On Experience

I am TIRED this morning! Last night, as I was resting at home, already a bit worn out from the week (it's been busy, not bad, not overwhelming, just busy), I got a call from my husband Chris. There was a situation at camp he needed my help with.

Now, my husband is great at what he does. And his staff this summer is just phenomenal. So I knew that if he was asking me to come, things really had gotten crazy. I won't go into details, but we just had one camper that created some pretty major fireworks (figuratively). She's fine. Everyone else is fine. No one was hurt. But a little before midnight, a parent finally came to retrieve her. The situation had reached a point where that was, really, the only option.

We always hate to have to make that choice. But it is always the choice, really, of the camper. The great infrequency of kids having to be sent home evidences how seriously Chris takes it, and how hard the entire staff works to prevent it.

It struck me, though, in the course of the whole episode, how my own understanding and maturity has changed (hopefully grown) over the years. I saw myself in the eyes of the college-aged staff, who so desperately wanted everything to be okay. Felt stung by the mean words of the camper who wanted to blame everyone else for her actions. I remember the years it took to be able to begin to understand the difference between a situation which was my fault, and that which wasn't (no matter what an angry person shouted).

One of the best helps in this was my time in Res Life. You've got to get very clear in your own head whose fault it is when a drunk college student tries to tell you it's your fault they've got to meet with the Dean. I tell you what though, you get over that pretty quick. But the bigger challenge, and the most important, is to learn not just to not take it all personally, but also to be able to stay calm, and not escalate the situation.

The sad thing is, so often the people who flip out are the ones whose entire lives are filled with people who overreact. They want to you do the same, because that's all they know. Other times, people have issues far beyond what an untrained person can handle. I may be a pastor, but I am no psychologist. I cannot control someone having a breakdown. I can try to keep them from hurting anyone till professionals arrive, but you sometimes learn the hard way that getting in over your head is dangerous for everyone.

I remember that my junior year in college, we had quite a situation on our hands. I had been away for the fall semester, studying abroad, as had my roommate Meg. We came back to campus and I took over as a Resident Assistant in an upperclass quad building. Meg and I moved into a suite with three other girls.

Long story short, for reasons I'll never entirely know, but spurred in part by not getting into the sorority she wanted, one of our roommates downed a bottle of pills. In front of her boyfriend. In her room in our suite. Campus security, ambulance called, and her off to have her stomach pumped...in the days to come, her parents didn't seem to think their was any problem, though she threatened to try again when (after not really doing much) they sent her back to our room. Our suite mates, some who were very close friends with her, were beside themselves. They were paranoid for days she'd try it again. After all, she said she would.

We ended up meeting with the Dean and explaining that we didn't feel safe with her in our suite. We didn't feel it was okay to expect college kids to keep an eye on a suicidal person. The college convinced her to take a leave of absence. She was furious at us. Swore we had overreacted. It was our fault she'd had to take a leave of absence. She even had a friend write a scathing letter in the school paper about it all. Of course, the story was far from what the letter portrayed. And we couldn't (or rather, wouldn't) refire publicly about it.

We all go through life hopefully growing along the way. But as one of my college profs would say, "You have to grow old, we don't have to grow up." Some people never do. But some do. Sometimes we learn from our misfires, our mishandling, our pains, embarassments and even our successes (which often surprise even us).

Goodness knows last night I not only got to see my experience come in handy, but I also learned a whole lot more...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Life as a Gift (And not how you think)

Here is the meditation from www.upperroom.org.daily for today:

ALL OF US have life experience in our hands. Of course, this life experience differs vastly from one person to another. It usually includes lessons we have learned while growing up, the work we have done, the mistakes we have made, the successes we have achieved, and, perhaps most importantly from God’s perspective, the painful things we have suffered. Our life experience represents a huge resource for God’s use in healing a hurting world. As we learn from many Bible stories, the way God uses us is often related to the ups and downs we have gone through.

- Trevor Hudson
Questions God Asks Us

This certainly rings true as, having returned from the Stephen Leaders training, and after meeting with the other two Stephen leaders from Calvary light night, I'm preparing to preach on Stephen Ministry and the broader idea of lay ministry this Sunday.

One of the greatest things about the idea of lay people caring for and walking along side people going through life (like a divorce, loss job, change in family, death, etc.) is that while one person (i.e. a pastor) will not have experienced every situation (and of course even at that each person experiences situations differently), by using the experiences of a whole group of lay people--in this case Stephen Ministers--we're able to really pair Stephen Ministers with care receivers, using the SM's own life experiences as a gift to be used in that relationship. Not that they now have the answers. Not at all. But that they understand a little bit more than someone else would, and can help remind their care receiver that they're not alone, and that others have made it through similar circumstances.

I'm really excited to see how this ministry grows in the coming year. We've decided to aim for a January start to the training (50 total hours, about 20 weeks, which is still much less of a commitment than Disciple!) and we would like to have at least 12 people in that class. Once a person completes the class, they will be assigned a "care receiver"...someone who needs a brother or sister in Christ to walk alongside them. SMs and CRs are paired based on same-gender pairing, experiences of the Sm that would be helpful, and personalities that seem to be a good pair.

The Stephen Ministry program is really great, and I'm so excited to be working with it. We've got a few ideas already of people who are interested in the training, so I hope we can recruit even more. Like is often the case, the SMs get as much, if not more, out of the whole experience as do the CRs!

Pretty cool to think that God can redeem even the hard parts of our lives to allow us to help others face their own challenges with strength and hope.