This is the time of year when many organizations are evaluating how things have been going this year and looking ahead to next year and the coming year. Those organizations with a good practice on this are probably actual reviewing goals for next year they're already set, and looking further ahead. At Calvary, our program ministries this year have been working to set goals, with the hope that we can truly begin to get our work in line with our mission.
The thing is this (and it is true for any organization): there are a myriad of things that could be done...but not all can be done at once. Therefore, best practices invite us to be discerning as we choose WHAT to do. Indeed, even if we could do something REALLY WELL, if it doesn't feed our vision, it ought to be laid aside.
I thought of this recently as I heard that our annual conference's communications folks won an award for an immersion series they developed. Now, we have awesome communications folks. I've had opportunity to work with them on a couple difference things, and they work hard and know what they're doing. But I am troubled about our conference's allotment of energy and resources when making disciples (or, measured more objectively, growth in membership and worship attendance) is one of the key goals and metrics we use. Can we develop great resources? Sure. Is that what we ought to be spending our time doing? I have severe reservations about that.
Walk into any Christian bookstore, and you will see a TON of resources. On pretty much anything. Are they exactly what we think churches should use? Maybe not always, but you know what, a lot of the time, they're pretty darn good. Why not spend less time developing resources that only a small portion of churches use, and more time developing a focus around a key area (hey, I'll even give it to the conference that churches need help finding these resources, even though I think it's really not that hard for pastors to do). Instead of using our conference staff to essentially rewrite materials that exist, why not invite them to be resources for churches who are using an already developed resource--like coming as a speaker to worship or a study group during that unit?
It is easy--and a dangerous trap--to get really good at doing something that at best only peripherally achieves your key goals. In fact, I think this is essentially the thing experts would say hold businesses and groups back...back from what someone like Jim Collins would call going from good to great. We have got to stop being so dang impressed with ourselves or set on doing something unique that we don't really DO much of anything all that important.
This same principle--of allotting resources to actually accomplish those things most important to you--is also something we all have to face in our personal lives. How do we decide how much money to give to our church? To other groups? How do we budget our time and resources, and what does that say about us? Do our actual lived-out priorities actually line up with the ones we tell ourselves and others we have?
Chris and I have been really thinking about this recently as we've been preparing for the arrival of our first child in a few weeks. (You can lay aside the, "you really don't know what you're getting into" speech...we've heard it, and while we are prepared for expectations to be blasted a bit, some people are just mean and try to scare new parents.) At any rate, we've looked at our plans (breastfeeding; cloth diapers--yes, I do actually have a plan, we're not just winging this, and yes, we understand this involves more laundry; and changing our schedules a bit so we can DO as much of our daughter's childcare as possible). We are fortunate to have options in these and other areas because of our jobs, and I certainly understand and appreciate that many (perhaps most people) don't have the options we have. That itself poses challenges--we have options, but it means we really have some very valid options from which to choose. Deciding how to allot resources of money, time and energy feels like some chess game (in which we expect the pieces to move a lot once she's here and to keep moving!)
But all of this really comes down to what do you want to be and do, and are you actually willing to focus on DOING those things you say are your priorities, even if you can do other things well, even really well. Chris and I were both raised by (at the time) stay at home moms. We both like the idea of our child having a parent at home with them, but we are both very committed to our ministries (both our own and each others') and we believe our vocations are an important part of who we are as a family. Balancing these priorities will not be easy, and will force us to make changes to our routine to try to find some balance (like working from home some, taking our daughter to work some, and maybe seeing each other a bit less). But it does leave room for maintaining even some of those--for example, we've decided it's important to keep taking the same day off together (during retreat season that's Monday, generally) and we'd rather pay for childcare on another day so we can do that.
Setting goals and examining priorities is not complicated stuff...the challenge is actually living them out. And that is something we all continue to struggle with as individuals, businesses, churches and organizations.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
My Call to Ministry
So for some reason I think I've actually blogged about this at some point, but since a quick glance at my blog titles doesn't indicate to me when I might have done so, below is my response to an oft-asked question...how did you hear a call to ministry? In fact, the account below is what I wrote today when asked by someone entering the lay speaker process...apparently there are several questions they have to ask a pastor or two, and this is one of them (I've been asked the same by lay-speakers-in-training before).
Let me first say that as a firm believer in the priesthood of all believers, I think we are all called to ministry. So really, this is my answer to the question, "What on earth gave you the idea to be a United Methodist pastor?" I've had to relate this many different times, and I tell it in somewhat different ways each time, but here is basically the story...
I received my call to ministry while a junior and senior in high school. Prior to that, and really, even at the time, I had been very active in student government and local government. I served as a student member on the Baltimore City School Board, and an officer in the Baltimore City Student Government association, as well as a legislative coordinator for the MD state student government (following and testifying at state hearings related to public education). I was one of two finalists elected as nominee to the Governor for student member on the state school board—that this happened at a time when there was great discord between the state schools folks and the Baltimore City Schools folks didn’t help my chances, and at any rate, the other candidate was chosen. I was also involved in various local campaigns.
About this time, not only was I experiencing some challenges in my roles in government (I also served as student body president at my high school) but I was realizing that politics did not bring out the best in me. I don’t mean that it is that way for everyone, but the whole system of it can just take you over, and I did not like who it was making me be, and the more I thought about it, and the more politicians I was around, the more disillusioned I became. About this time, I started asking myself if this was really what I wanted to spend my life doing—knowing that if I do anything I do it full bore, at the end of my life, would this be (and would it make me) something I was content with, even proud of. The more I thought of it, the more I had to admit that my answer was no.
Meanwhile, I was continuing to serve in leadership at my church. My father served as pastor at Brooklyn United Methodist Church (South Baltimore), and I, by that time, was the teacher for the 3-5 Sunday School class (much to my sister’s frustration!). I was involved in many different ways at church, and had always been a student of my father’s ministry, from which I had originally taken cues for my political leadership opportunities. I would also, from time to time, serve as the teacher for the older adults Sunday School class—they had a rotating schedule of teachers. One day, after teaching that class (God only knows what possessed them to invite a high school junior to teach them! What a gift!) one of the older women of the church, knowing my political involvement, said, “It’s such a shame you’re not going to be a pastor like your father.”
Such an option had honestly never occurred to me. Not for any good reason, mind you, other than that since my father had always been my pastor (and the one time he’d served on a church staff his senior pastor was a man) I had never actually SEEN a female pastor. I knew female pastors, I just hadn’t ever experienced one as a pastor. This is not at all due to any prejudices on my family’s part, indeed, my father and grandfather have long been (long before I ever heard a call to ministry) ardent supporters of women in ministry. Having come out of the United Brethren Church, my grandfather is very proud of that church’s ordination of women having begun in 1889 (it stopped a bit later after their merge with the Evangelical Assn, but they always were a old fashioned bunch—which is saying something coming from an UB!). In fact, I have heard from several older clergywomen in our annual conference who not only appreciated having my grandfather as DS, having found him supportive, but at least one clergywoman who actually transferred TO THIS CONFERENCE because of my grandfather’s support and encouragement. My father likewise has long been supportive of women in ministry. I have thus been quite blessed that though I had never thought of being a pastor, there was no gender-bias in my family nor in my church at that time. It was only later that I came to realize how remarkable it was to receive such words of support from that elderly woman—she too had never experienced a woman as pastor, but I truly believe it was through her that God called me.
After that comment from that women, I began to think and pray about the call. I shared it with my parents. My father took to giving me opportunities to “try out” ministry, including the gift of being able to preach (pastors are often very stingy with their pulpits, but Dad let me preach a couple times a year at least, and the congregation was gracious and constructive in their reception and feedback). My mother, meanwhile, was concerned that I not simply choose to do something my father was doing (for various reasons more complicated than can be described briefly, and owing in large part to the dynamics of our family at that time) and she asked that I wait a year before beginning the candidacy process. I did so, and then officially began the process my senior year in high school. In the end, that year wait was a very good thing, because it not only allowed me to reflect more, but also allowed me to gain more input from others (like my high school principal) and the constant positive responses I received were vital, I think, to keeping me going in the years ahead.
So, I would say I heard my call my junior year in high school, began to embrace it my senior year, then in college, under the wonderful tutelage of Dr. Charles (Buz) Myers and his ability to help me think through the Biblical passages about women in church leadership (it was important to me that I wasn’t disregarding parts of scripture I didn’t like, but he was able to help me place those passages in context and help me understand God’s call to ministry in women’s lives) I was able, I think, to finally fully embrace my call. I graduated from Gettysburg College with a double-major in history and religion (I may have had some minors, I don’t remember) and then went straight to Duke Divinity School (the seminary my father attended, which was nice, but moreso they offered me a full scholarship which made it an easy call!). Duke was a perfect fit for me, though seminary is, I think, always quite a growing experienced and I certainly experienced some growing pains. I was a certified candidate for ministry by the time I graduated from college, and was commissioned the year I graduated from Duke, and ordained after the requisite three year probationary period (required by our conference at the time).
People often ask me if I was called to ministry because my father, grandfather and great-grandfather were (plus I’ve got a great-great-great grandfather who was a licensed Methodist preacher—my great-great grandfather was a founding member of Grace UB (now UMC) in Hagerstown). In a lot of ways, as I mentioned, that actually was a hindrance at first. But getting past that, it certainly was a blessing to have such a legacy. At a time when many young people can’t really imagine what life as a pastor would be like, I never had illusions about what lie ahead, and the option of being a pastor was always quite real (as in I could imagine what it would be like, it wasn’t very distant). I was also able to learn a great deal from my father and grandfather that allowed me to start the candidacy process ahead of the game than others in terms of my understanding of it and my comfort level with the people and pastors I can in contact with during the process. Along with that, however, comes not only the good but also the bad. Being the child of someone in the same industry (because I suspect this is the same in a lot of venues) also means you bear the hard feelings and tensions of your forbearers. So it can never be assumed to be a universally good thing, but I have been very blessed by the legacy of my father, grandfather and great-grandfather.
Let me first say that as a firm believer in the priesthood of all believers, I think we are all called to ministry. So really, this is my answer to the question, "What on earth gave you the idea to be a United Methodist pastor?" I've had to relate this many different times, and I tell it in somewhat different ways each time, but here is basically the story...
I received my call to ministry while a junior and senior in high school. Prior to that, and really, even at the time, I had been very active in student government and local government. I served as a student member on the Baltimore City School Board, and an officer in the Baltimore City Student Government association, as well as a legislative coordinator for the MD state student government (following and testifying at state hearings related to public education). I was one of two finalists elected as nominee to the Governor for student member on the state school board—that this happened at a time when there was great discord between the state schools folks and the Baltimore City Schools folks didn’t help my chances, and at any rate, the other candidate was chosen. I was also involved in various local campaigns.
About this time, not only was I experiencing some challenges in my roles in government (I also served as student body president at my high school) but I was realizing that politics did not bring out the best in me. I don’t mean that it is that way for everyone, but the whole system of it can just take you over, and I did not like who it was making me be, and the more I thought about it, and the more politicians I was around, the more disillusioned I became. About this time, I started asking myself if this was really what I wanted to spend my life doing—knowing that if I do anything I do it full bore, at the end of my life, would this be (and would it make me) something I was content with, even proud of. The more I thought of it, the more I had to admit that my answer was no.
Meanwhile, I was continuing to serve in leadership at my church. My father served as pastor at Brooklyn United Methodist Church (South Baltimore), and I, by that time, was the teacher for the 3-5 Sunday School class (much to my sister’s frustration!). I was involved in many different ways at church, and had always been a student of my father’s ministry, from which I had originally taken cues for my political leadership opportunities. I would also, from time to time, serve as the teacher for the older adults Sunday School class—they had a rotating schedule of teachers. One day, after teaching that class (God only knows what possessed them to invite a high school junior to teach them! What a gift!) one of the older women of the church, knowing my political involvement, said, “It’s such a shame you’re not going to be a pastor like your father.”
Such an option had honestly never occurred to me. Not for any good reason, mind you, other than that since my father had always been my pastor (and the one time he’d served on a church staff his senior pastor was a man) I had never actually SEEN a female pastor. I knew female pastors, I just hadn’t ever experienced one as a pastor. This is not at all due to any prejudices on my family’s part, indeed, my father and grandfather have long been (long before I ever heard a call to ministry) ardent supporters of women in ministry. Having come out of the United Brethren Church, my grandfather is very proud of that church’s ordination of women having begun in 1889 (it stopped a bit later after their merge with the Evangelical Assn, but they always were a old fashioned bunch—which is saying something coming from an UB!). In fact, I have heard from several older clergywomen in our annual conference who not only appreciated having my grandfather as DS, having found him supportive, but at least one clergywoman who actually transferred TO THIS CONFERENCE because of my grandfather’s support and encouragement. My father likewise has long been supportive of women in ministry. I have thus been quite blessed that though I had never thought of being a pastor, there was no gender-bias in my family nor in my church at that time. It was only later that I came to realize how remarkable it was to receive such words of support from that elderly woman—she too had never experienced a woman as pastor, but I truly believe it was through her that God called me.
After that comment from that women, I began to think and pray about the call. I shared it with my parents. My father took to giving me opportunities to “try out” ministry, including the gift of being able to preach (pastors are often very stingy with their pulpits, but Dad let me preach a couple times a year at least, and the congregation was gracious and constructive in their reception and feedback). My mother, meanwhile, was concerned that I not simply choose to do something my father was doing (for various reasons more complicated than can be described briefly, and owing in large part to the dynamics of our family at that time) and she asked that I wait a year before beginning the candidacy process. I did so, and then officially began the process my senior year in high school. In the end, that year wait was a very good thing, because it not only allowed me to reflect more, but also allowed me to gain more input from others (like my high school principal) and the constant positive responses I received were vital, I think, to keeping me going in the years ahead.
So, I would say I heard my call my junior year in high school, began to embrace it my senior year, then in college, under the wonderful tutelage of Dr. Charles (Buz) Myers and his ability to help me think through the Biblical passages about women in church leadership (it was important to me that I wasn’t disregarding parts of scripture I didn’t like, but he was able to help me place those passages in context and help me understand God’s call to ministry in women’s lives) I was able, I think, to finally fully embrace my call. I graduated from Gettysburg College with a double-major in history and religion (I may have had some minors, I don’t remember) and then went straight to Duke Divinity School (the seminary my father attended, which was nice, but moreso they offered me a full scholarship which made it an easy call!). Duke was a perfect fit for me, though seminary is, I think, always quite a growing experienced and I certainly experienced some growing pains. I was a certified candidate for ministry by the time I graduated from college, and was commissioned the year I graduated from Duke, and ordained after the requisite three year probationary period (required by our conference at the time).
People often ask me if I was called to ministry because my father, grandfather and great-grandfather were (plus I’ve got a great-great-great grandfather who was a licensed Methodist preacher—my great-great grandfather was a founding member of Grace UB (now UMC) in Hagerstown). In a lot of ways, as I mentioned, that actually was a hindrance at first. But getting past that, it certainly was a blessing to have such a legacy. At a time when many young people can’t really imagine what life as a pastor would be like, I never had illusions about what lie ahead, and the option of being a pastor was always quite real (as in I could imagine what it would be like, it wasn’t very distant). I was also able to learn a great deal from my father and grandfather that allowed me to start the candidacy process ahead of the game than others in terms of my understanding of it and my comfort level with the people and pastors I can in contact with during the process. Along with that, however, comes not only the good but also the bad. Being the child of someone in the same industry (because I suspect this is the same in a lot of venues) also means you bear the hard feelings and tensions of your forbearers. So it can never be assumed to be a universally good thing, but I have been very blessed by the legacy of my father, grandfather and great-grandfather.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Church Leadership
You can't turn on the news lately without seeing some latest story on Christian leadership--whether specifically in a church (Bishop Eddie Long) or beyond (the Roman Catholic Church's handling of something, or the Pope's recent visit to England). As a pastor, I'm also deep into the topic of Christian leadership as I live out my own call, and when I interact with my colleagues in ministry.
In the wake of the Eddie Long allegations, I returned to a book I'd read many years ago, Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership. A short trip to Amazon.com revealed a revised edition has since come out, and thanks to the fact that I can order things a bit too easily on Amazon with an iPhone now, a copy of it now sits on my coffee table (in my defense, I'm not sure where my old copy is, so it's not like I have two now...though I wouldn't be opposed to that...) :-)
On of the major premises of the book is that the same qualities that raise a person to success are the same ones which, left unchecked, which can spell their downfall. And often in equal proportions. This premise isn't new to us, if only because popular discourse has zeroed in of this concept in the years since the book was first published. And yet, our church leaders remain remarkably unaffected by the lessons we have learned along these lines.
I was fortunate in my own ministry to have worked with two pastors during seminary (each during my two required field education placements) whose own lives and examples taught me a great deal about how I wanted to live my life--not just be a pastor, but be a person. On of those pastors is about as different personality-wise from me as is possible. Laid-back, a fount of soothing words and pastoral presence, he routinely cared for himself in the same way he so deftly cared for others. When he was working, he poured himself into it. When he had time off, he did so with the same commitment and ease. All of that, I say, as it seemed to me, of course.
My other supervising pastor had, it seemed to both of us, a quite similar personality to me. Driven, prone to keep at a project till completion, he however had learned through some challenging experiences of his own that you can only drive yourself at a break-neck pace for so long before you crash. His insight and experience he freely shared, and it helped me understand that I needed to reign in my own first-child tendencies before they did me in.
Both men graciously taught me that while it is important to be who God has created me to be, and while I cannot change my personality (and why would I want to, especially the very things that are the basis for any success?), I must manage those same qualities to try to keep them from overgrowing my life--like the kudzu that has overtaken much of the North Carolina roadsides.
That said, I am nowhere near where I'd like to be. My own best habits still don't all come naturally to me, and I struggle (like most people) to balance the various demands upon my time (including my own expectations). As my pregnancy has progressed, it's been interesting to find ways to lighten up on my own expectations for what I will be getting done, since my midwife basically tells me I need to start acting like the 8-month pregnant woman that I am! Now lest you think I'm working myself into an early grave, I am not. Nor am I putting my child at risk. Those aren't the stakes we're talking about. Trust me, if things were bad, I wouldn't blog about them. And nothing frustrates me more than someone simply saying, "Oh, you need to take it easy." Such a line simply denies that each of us are different and the ways we balance our lives are also different.And changing our habits is not easy.
So I am still learning. I am certain I am doing better, and there's nothing like awaiting a baby (and knowing that the chance to slow down will be gone after that!) to actually make you slow down.
We all have our dark sides. They are, indeed, often the same things that make us who we are at our best moments. At our worst moments, they are the strongest qualities of us unchecked. For some it make be the desire to work hard and long (at its worst this destroys other areas of our lives). For others, it may be the ability to take time off (which can devolve into laziness if unchecked). For some it is the ability to offer advice (which in its worst incarnation becomes a patronizing commitment to tell others how to live their lives). For others still, it may be their charisma (which can turn into a self-serving hunger that is fed in unhealthy ways). On and on the list goes.
As Christian leaders, indeed, as Christians, our first focus ought always to be on ourselves, always recognizing our own strengths and weaknesses, and particularly how our dark sides are likely to develop. We must also admit that we are not always (sometimes even usually) the best set of eyes looking at ourselves, and find people we trust to hold us accountable--NOTE: don't ever offer yourself as someone else's source of accountability. Such condescension will nearly always be unwelcome. But when we find those people in our lives who truly know us, not the snippets we share with the world, we can indeed find deep friendships that can help us grow in our strengths without letting those same strengths be the weights that eventually drag us down.
In the wake of the Eddie Long allegations, I returned to a book I'd read many years ago, Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership. A short trip to Amazon.com revealed a revised edition has since come out, and thanks to the fact that I can order things a bit too easily on Amazon with an iPhone now, a copy of it now sits on my coffee table (in my defense, I'm not sure where my old copy is, so it's not like I have two now...though I wouldn't be opposed to that...) :-)
On of the major premises of the book is that the same qualities that raise a person to success are the same ones which, left unchecked, which can spell their downfall. And often in equal proportions. This premise isn't new to us, if only because popular discourse has zeroed in of this concept in the years since the book was first published. And yet, our church leaders remain remarkably unaffected by the lessons we have learned along these lines.
I was fortunate in my own ministry to have worked with two pastors during seminary (each during my two required field education placements) whose own lives and examples taught me a great deal about how I wanted to live my life--not just be a pastor, but be a person. On of those pastors is about as different personality-wise from me as is possible. Laid-back, a fount of soothing words and pastoral presence, he routinely cared for himself in the same way he so deftly cared for others. When he was working, he poured himself into it. When he had time off, he did so with the same commitment and ease. All of that, I say, as it seemed to me, of course.
My other supervising pastor had, it seemed to both of us, a quite similar personality to me. Driven, prone to keep at a project till completion, he however had learned through some challenging experiences of his own that you can only drive yourself at a break-neck pace for so long before you crash. His insight and experience he freely shared, and it helped me understand that I needed to reign in my own first-child tendencies before they did me in.
Both men graciously taught me that while it is important to be who God has created me to be, and while I cannot change my personality (and why would I want to, especially the very things that are the basis for any success?), I must manage those same qualities to try to keep them from overgrowing my life--like the kudzu that has overtaken much of the North Carolina roadsides.
That said, I am nowhere near where I'd like to be. My own best habits still don't all come naturally to me, and I struggle (like most people) to balance the various demands upon my time (including my own expectations). As my pregnancy has progressed, it's been interesting to find ways to lighten up on my own expectations for what I will be getting done, since my midwife basically tells me I need to start acting like the 8-month pregnant woman that I am! Now lest you think I'm working myself into an early grave, I am not. Nor am I putting my child at risk. Those aren't the stakes we're talking about. Trust me, if things were bad, I wouldn't blog about them. And nothing frustrates me more than someone simply saying, "Oh, you need to take it easy." Such a line simply denies that each of us are different and the ways we balance our lives are also different.And changing our habits is not easy.
So I am still learning. I am certain I am doing better, and there's nothing like awaiting a baby (and knowing that the chance to slow down will be gone after that!) to actually make you slow down.
We all have our dark sides. They are, indeed, often the same things that make us who we are at our best moments. At our worst moments, they are the strongest qualities of us unchecked. For some it make be the desire to work hard and long (at its worst this destroys other areas of our lives). For others, it may be the ability to take time off (which can devolve into laziness if unchecked). For some it is the ability to offer advice (which in its worst incarnation becomes a patronizing commitment to tell others how to live their lives). For others still, it may be their charisma (which can turn into a self-serving hunger that is fed in unhealthy ways). On and on the list goes.
As Christian leaders, indeed, as Christians, our first focus ought always to be on ourselves, always recognizing our own strengths and weaknesses, and particularly how our dark sides are likely to develop. We must also admit that we are not always (sometimes even usually) the best set of eyes looking at ourselves, and find people we trust to hold us accountable--NOTE: don't ever offer yourself as someone else's source of accountability. Such condescension will nearly always be unwelcome. But when we find those people in our lives who truly know us, not the snippets we share with the world, we can indeed find deep friendships that can help us grow in our strengths without letting those same strengths be the weights that eventually drag us down.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Advice for those going to Board of Ordained Ministry Retreats
So yesterday I began my time on the Frederick District's District Committee on Ordained Ministry. Having had a father who has served on district committees and BOOM (the conference's Board of Ordained Ministry) for something like a decade--and who, in my understanding at least, has loved it, and according to others, has done a dang good job of it, it is a great privilege to be asked to serve in such a role.
For those who don't know, the DCOMs and BOOM serve to examine candidates for ministry. This ministry takes different form, ranging from Local Pastor and Certified Lay Ministers to deacons and elders. The ordination process in particular (the only process I was involved in prior to this, and thus the process I know best) is quite involved. In addition to educational requirements (for *all but a few* elders, this means the graduate degree of Master of Divinity--comparable to a law degree really, rather than a regular masters), candidates must undergo and share results from physical and psychological exams, undergo criminal and financial background checks, progress through a series of interviews and mentoring relationships, all to get to the point of attending the commissioning retreat, which then requires pages of written responses (think 30-50 pages), recorded sermon, recommendations, etc. all of which you are questioned about when you appear for a series of intense interviews. Once you pass the commissioning retreat/exam, you are then "on probation" (the language is changing, but that's still probably a good understanding) for three years--at least. At this point it is very similar to the university tenure process. You get tried out, and after three years, you go back for another retreat/exam, and if you pass this and are voted in, you are, at least at present in the UMC, guaranteed a job for the rest of your career barring removal.
BOOM also further has oversight for clergy once commissioned and ordained, but at least as I understand it, the DCOMs primarily deal with candidates.
For more information about the candidacy process, etc., CLICK HERE for our denomination's resources.
All that said, it is both a great challenge and joy to be part of this process as an elder in the church (I was ordained in 2008). I have a great sense of the responsibility we in the orders of elder and deacon have to one another, and indeed, that all United Methodists have to one another as we lift up, train and empower our leaders. I am fortunate to be part of an annual conference that I believe strives to do a good job, not just to make things difficult, but to make things challenging so that we can truly discern who is called to and prepared for different forms of ministry. All annual conferences deal with this process a bit differently--though the Book of Discipline outlines the basic process, the way it is implemented differs, and some conference require more than the minimum requirements of the BOD.
Like any such endeavor, there are times when things are not handled perfectly by the committees, but also times when candidates have neglected their own responsibilities within the process. Also, at times, a candidate may not be ready for, or, even, perhaps, appropriate for a particular form of ministry. These are difficult points, because as United Methodists, at least, we understand the community's discernment to be at least as important as the individual's own discernment. For that reason, there will inevitably be times when people disagree. We believe and hope that God is at work in and through each person involved.
That said, much of the workings of DCOMs and BOOMs are not great spiritual mysteries. In the United Methodist Church, we certify and ordain people to different forms of ministry based on their skills and calling. We also understand that a certain degree of personal health (emotional, spiritual, physical, etc.), leadership skill (tact, assertiveness, self-control, etc.) and theological understanding are vital. In addition, since we are not ordaining people to just any Christian group, but rather within the United Methodist Church, we have certain expectations for a person's ability to function within our system. For example, ordained elders in the UMC are part of the appointment process and ought to expect to itinerate a number of times in their ministry. Anyone not prepared to do so would not be an appropriate candidate for ministry in the UMC. That doesn't mean God hasn't called them, just that serving as an elder in the UMC isn't for them. Another example would be the hierarchical structure of our denomination. Someone who completely bristles under others' authority would not be an appropriate match for the UMC (I would personally suggest that such an extreme rejection of being subject to another is downright unChristian, but for polity's sake, there are certainly less hierarchical denominations).
All that said, both from my own personal experiences, and after gleaning from the wisdom, guidance and experiences of others, and without any official justification or backing, here are my helpful tidbits for persons in the candidacy process in the UMC, especially as they prepare for BOOM exams:
That's about it for now...I'm sure there are other helpful hints, but that's what I've learned so far, for what it's worth.
For those who don't know, the DCOMs and BOOM serve to examine candidates for ministry. This ministry takes different form, ranging from Local Pastor and Certified Lay Ministers to deacons and elders. The ordination process in particular (the only process I was involved in prior to this, and thus the process I know best) is quite involved. In addition to educational requirements (for *all but a few* elders, this means the graduate degree of Master of Divinity--comparable to a law degree really, rather than a regular masters), candidates must undergo and share results from physical and psychological exams, undergo criminal and financial background checks, progress through a series of interviews and mentoring relationships, all to get to the point of attending the commissioning retreat, which then requires pages of written responses (think 30-50 pages), recorded sermon, recommendations, etc. all of which you are questioned about when you appear for a series of intense interviews. Once you pass the commissioning retreat/exam, you are then "on probation" (the language is changing, but that's still probably a good understanding) for three years--at least. At this point it is very similar to the university tenure process. You get tried out, and after three years, you go back for another retreat/exam, and if you pass this and are voted in, you are, at least at present in the UMC, guaranteed a job for the rest of your career barring removal.
BOOM also further has oversight for clergy once commissioned and ordained, but at least as I understand it, the DCOMs primarily deal with candidates.
For more information about the candidacy process, etc., CLICK HERE for our denomination's resources.
All that said, it is both a great challenge and joy to be part of this process as an elder in the church (I was ordained in 2008). I have a great sense of the responsibility we in the orders of elder and deacon have to one another, and indeed, that all United Methodists have to one another as we lift up, train and empower our leaders. I am fortunate to be part of an annual conference that I believe strives to do a good job, not just to make things difficult, but to make things challenging so that we can truly discern who is called to and prepared for different forms of ministry. All annual conferences deal with this process a bit differently--though the Book of Discipline outlines the basic process, the way it is implemented differs, and some conference require more than the minimum requirements of the BOD.
Like any such endeavor, there are times when things are not handled perfectly by the committees, but also times when candidates have neglected their own responsibilities within the process. Also, at times, a candidate may not be ready for, or, even, perhaps, appropriate for a particular form of ministry. These are difficult points, because as United Methodists, at least, we understand the community's discernment to be at least as important as the individual's own discernment. For that reason, there will inevitably be times when people disagree. We believe and hope that God is at work in and through each person involved.
That said, much of the workings of DCOMs and BOOMs are not great spiritual mysteries. In the United Methodist Church, we certify and ordain people to different forms of ministry based on their skills and calling. We also understand that a certain degree of personal health (emotional, spiritual, physical, etc.), leadership skill (tact, assertiveness, self-control, etc.) and theological understanding are vital. In addition, since we are not ordaining people to just any Christian group, but rather within the United Methodist Church, we have certain expectations for a person's ability to function within our system. For example, ordained elders in the UMC are part of the appointment process and ought to expect to itinerate a number of times in their ministry. Anyone not prepared to do so would not be an appropriate candidate for ministry in the UMC. That doesn't mean God hasn't called them, just that serving as an elder in the UMC isn't for them. Another example would be the hierarchical structure of our denomination. Someone who completely bristles under others' authority would not be an appropriate match for the UMC (I would personally suggest that such an extreme rejection of being subject to another is downright unChristian, but for polity's sake, there are certainly less hierarchical denominations).
All that said, both from my own personal experiences, and after gleaning from the wisdom, guidance and experiences of others, and without any official justification or backing, here are my helpful tidbits for persons in the candidacy process in the UMC, especially as they prepare for BOOM exams:
- Be yourself and give your own answers. This includes: (a) being able to explain your process for arriving at your response, (b) using your own words--if you don't, it's pretty obvious and (c) don't try to give the answer you think the board wants to here. Point c is very important, and is the sole reason for the one question I royally bombed at my own ordination exam. You fall prey to c when you let yours and others' anxiety go to your head. It's ugly. Because once you give your answer, when asked how you arrive at it, you can't really say, "Well, I though that's what you wanted to hear." And so it all goes downhill from there. Show you can process the question, give justification for it (i.e. don't just make stuff up), and trust that if God is indeed calling you, it will be enough.
- Take a deep breath and don't let people stress you out. You may think it's most likely to be the board who stresses you out, but in my experience, that is not the case. Other candidates are far more effective at this, so just be careful how much you get drawn into it all. The year of my retreat, there was a rumor swirling around the local seminary (I was studying at another and so hadn't heard the rumor till I arrived for the retreat) that a hard quota had been set and only a certain proportion would pass the exam. Like we were all embarking upon some crazy reality show competition. I was fortunate that because my dad was on BOOM I could ask him and got his response of "Of course not." Here's the thing. Don't trust the crazy rumors. Even if they were true (which they almost never are) believe them and getting caught up in them will almost certainly doom you since it will affect your attitude and anxiety.
- Act like you care. Well, how about this, actually CARE. Put good time and work into your written responses. Attend all required meetings. Meet all deadlines. Everyone on BOOM and DCOMs are busy--many probably busier than you, though that may be hard to believe. No one will feel bad for you in you couldn't do a good job on a required piece. Remember that as intense as the process is, it is certainly no less intense than the schedule and demands of ministry at times. Just think of it as Advent come early. Have people proofread your answers, both for content and grammar. If you don't show in your materials that you care, please do not expect the boards to go out of their way to cut you a break.
- Know your own materials. In all seriousness I know this can be difficult. I well remember late nights trying to finish up questions, and that sometimes I had to choose between one of three ways to answer a question. But under no circumstances should you show up at the retreat without a very detailed knowledge of your own responses. In fact, if you're really on top of things, have someone read your answers and note for you any questions they would have or anticipate you getting asked based on your answers. This will not only make you more prepared and comfortable when questioned, but will evidence a high degree of self-awareness.
- Don't try to answer questions you honestly don't know the answer to. It's a very uncomfortable position to be in, I know, but at least evidence an understanding of how you would find or discern the answer. Don't take this approach to all questions, but once or twice this is far better than digging a whole you can't get out of later.
- Be engaged. Even if another candidate is responding to a question, don't zone off. It appears disrespectful to the board, and will just turn them off. That said, I don't really know how you're supposed to look at someone who is six inches from you and not feel awkward, so find your own way, just make sure you are engaged, or at least learn to act engaged well.
- Remember that there are a wide range of views represented on the boards. This doesn't mean they can't all agree that an answer was bombed or rocked, but it does mean that most of the time, some people will agree with you more than others. But keep in mind that most board members aren't just judging how well you agree with them, but rather, how well you can process and answer important questions.
- In regards to your written materials, please keep in mind several things (this is by no means an exhaustive list):
- I’m glad you like UM theology and/or polity, but we didn’t ask you if you liked it, but rather if you can explain it. Spend more time doing that and less time sucking up. The Book of Discipline doesn’t really “get” flattery.
- Please cite things like this is an actual writing, not like you are tossing in a title or something. If you didn’t learn proper citation in college or seminary, learn very quickly.
- There ARE some right and wrong answers. Please use “connectionalism” in some part of your response to the question about primary characteristics of the UMC. It would be a good idea to talk about Holy Conferencing as well. Please use “prevenient grace” as often as possible in your answers. If you don’t understand why these are important words to use, go back to seminary until you do.
- Please do not abbreviate or use initials (even, and perhaps especially “UMC”). This is a real grown up writing, so please take a moment and spell out the words. If you want to be lazy, simply type “UMC” then when you’re done writing, use replace all to replace it with “United Methodist Church.”
- When asked about your personal experience of God, please do, indeed, actually give us a personal experience. Not just a theological discourse. In a more general sense, answer the actual question asked of you. A good answer to a different question doesn't help you.
- It’s the United Methodist Church, not the Methodist Church. Get it straight. And unless you mean “United Methodist theology” (in which case, still, use “United”) then you should probably use “Wesleyan theology.”
- The Golden Rule is not actually in the Bible. It’s one thing for lay people to think it is. It makes you look silly to write it into your answers for ordination.
- And most of all, taking the point of accurate citation one step further, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you fail to cite the material of someone else--even the Book of Discipline. It is dishonest, and will almost certainly disqualify you from the exam. Remember that the board has read a lot of answers. Not only can they catch a quote from the BOD from a mile away, they are catch writing that does not sound like yours. I know working with others to write answers can be tempting, but be very careful (personally, I totally avoided this). You simply should not underestimate the problems you will cause if your response sounds too much like someone else. Not sure a phrase you're using is someone else? Good news. Google can help. Not sure if you have quoted enough of the Book of Discipline to justify quoting it (does "making disciples of Jesus Christ" need to be cited?)? QUOTE IT. You do not want to be the person the board has to split plagiarism hairs over. You just don't.
That's about it for now...I'm sure there are other helpful hints, but that's what I've learned so far, for what it's worth.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Take a Look Back...and Forward
About a year ago this time, a group of Calvary UMC folks gathered at Manidokan for its first leadership retreat in as long as anyone could remember. We had one of our conference staff people come, and there we developed our new vision statement (though after months of debate, I think we're kind of also calling it our mission statement): Calvary UMC seeks and invites all to become disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of our community and our world.
We also view the results of a congregational assessment that key leaders had taken. I think we've done a lot in the past year. We've even managed, I think, to address a few of the issues that we noted at that retreat. But much remains to be done. I was reminded of this as I finalized plans for this year's retreat--tomorrow (Friday) through Saturday. I looked back at the assessment results and notes of our discussions and once made once again aware of where we have yet to go.
I'm really looking forward to this year's retreat then, not only for the chance to fellowship, but also for the opportunity to look back--on last year, and indeed the path of Calvary to this point--and to look forward, at how we can continue to focus our energies on where God is calling us.
I'll share discussion points from this weekend after the retreat, but for now, here are the (totally unfiltered or footnoted) results from last year's assessment. (Note that there was much discussion last year about whether the questions on the assessment where even the ones we were all that concerned about...perhaps a good question for this year is what measures should we use in the future to gauge how we're doing, and the sampling is probably far from enough to be "scientific.") Where do you think we are now?
Q1: The youth members of our church are increasing and are actively involved.
Strongly Agree 9.3%
Agree 38.9%
Not Sure 48.1%
Disagree 3.7%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q2: People are passionate about experiencing the presence of God in worship.
Strongly Agree 3.7%
Agree 50.0%
Not Sure 29.6%
Disagree 16.7%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q3: Calvary UMC shows exceptional hospitality to visitors by visiting or calling them within 24 hours of their visit.
Strongly Agree 11.1%
Agree 35.2%
Not Sure 44.4%
Disagree 5.6%
Strongly Disagree 3.7%
Q4: Ministry volunteers perform 80% of the church's operations each week.
Strongly Agree 7.5%
Agree 32.1%
Not Sure 49.1%
Disagree 11.3%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q5: Worship, music and the arts are a primary way that Calvary reaches out to the unchurched community.
Strongly Agree 5.7%
Agree 52.8%
Not Sure 26.4%
Disagree 15.1%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q6: 80% of the members of Calvary UMC tithe 10% of their income.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 3.8%
Not Sure 50.9%
Disagree 30.2%
Strongly Disagree 15.1%
Q7: Calvary UMC functions based on a team approach to ministry.
Strongly Agree 13.2%
Agree 52.8%
Not Sure 24.5%
Disagree 9.4%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q8: 80% of the worshiping congregation is involved in Bible Study, a small group, or Sunday School
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 5.7%
Not Sure 37.7%
Disagree 50.9%
Strongly Disagree 5.7%
Q9: Calvary UMC has a core message that everyone can articulate.
Strongly Agree 5.7%
Agree 32.1%
Not Sure 28.3%
Disagree 30.2%
Strongly Disagree 3.8%
Q10: 30% of the congregation is comprised of visitors each week.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 1.9%
Not Sure 36.5%
Disagree 50.0%
Strongly Disagree 11.5%
Q11: Calvary UMC has a clear plan of discipleship that is regularly articulated and easily accessible to members.
Strongly Agree 4.0%
Agree 36.0%
Not Sure 30.0%
Disagree 30.0%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q12: New ministries emerge and thrive at Calvary UMC regularly.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 24.0%
Not Sure 42.0%
Disagree 34.0%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q13: Calvary UMC has multiple effective outreach and evangelistic ministries to the community.
Strongly Agree 8.0%
Agree 40.0%
Not Sure 28.0%
Disagree 24.0%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q14: Worship is designed to attract seekers and nurture disciples.
Strongly Agree 12.0%
Agree 46.0%
Not Sure 18.0%
Disagree 20.0%
Strongly Disagree 4.0%
Q15: The Calvary UMC leaders and members often pray together to hear God's plan for the church's future.
Strongly Agree 2.0%
Agree 42.0%
Not Sure 40.0%
Disagree 8.0%
Strongly Disagree 8.0%
Q16: There are regular opportunities to evangelize and invite visitors each month.
Strongly Agree 4.0%
Agree 36.0%
Not Sure 38.0%
Disagree 20.0%
Strongly Disagree 2.0%
Q17: 80% of the members are in a small group Bible study.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 4.0%
Not Sure 42.0%
Disagree 36.0%
Strongly Disagree 18.0%
Q18: Leadership development is a priority at Calvary UMC.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 38.0%
Not Sure 30.0%
Disagree 30.0%
Strongly Disagree 2.0%
Q19: Calvary UMC is relevant to the emerging communities in Frederick, MD
Strongly Agree 4.0%
Agree 36.0%
Not Sure 32.0%
Disagree 26.0%
Strongly Disagree 2.0%
Q20: The entire church membership is clear about Calvary UMC's purpose and core values.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 16.3%
Not Sure 36.7%
Disagree 44.9%
Strongly Disagree 2.0%
We also view the results of a congregational assessment that key leaders had taken. I think we've done a lot in the past year. We've even managed, I think, to address a few of the issues that we noted at that retreat. But much remains to be done. I was reminded of this as I finalized plans for this year's retreat--tomorrow (Friday) through Saturday. I looked back at the assessment results and notes of our discussions and once made once again aware of where we have yet to go.
I'm really looking forward to this year's retreat then, not only for the chance to fellowship, but also for the opportunity to look back--on last year, and indeed the path of Calvary to this point--and to look forward, at how we can continue to focus our energies on where God is calling us.
I'll share discussion points from this weekend after the retreat, but for now, here are the (totally unfiltered or footnoted) results from last year's assessment. (Note that there was much discussion last year about whether the questions on the assessment where even the ones we were all that concerned about...perhaps a good question for this year is what measures should we use in the future to gauge how we're doing, and the sampling is probably far from enough to be "scientific.") Where do you think we are now?
Q1: The youth members of our church are increasing and are actively involved.
Strongly Agree 9.3%
Agree 38.9%
Not Sure 48.1%
Disagree 3.7%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q2: People are passionate about experiencing the presence of God in worship.
Strongly Agree 3.7%
Agree 50.0%
Not Sure 29.6%
Disagree 16.7%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q3: Calvary UMC shows exceptional hospitality to visitors by visiting or calling them within 24 hours of their visit.
Strongly Agree 11.1%
Agree 35.2%
Not Sure 44.4%
Disagree 5.6%
Strongly Disagree 3.7%
Q4: Ministry volunteers perform 80% of the church's operations each week.
Strongly Agree 7.5%
Agree 32.1%
Not Sure 49.1%
Disagree 11.3%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q5: Worship, music and the arts are a primary way that Calvary reaches out to the unchurched community.
Strongly Agree 5.7%
Agree 52.8%
Not Sure 26.4%
Disagree 15.1%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q6: 80% of the members of Calvary UMC tithe 10% of their income.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 3.8%
Not Sure 50.9%
Disagree 30.2%
Strongly Disagree 15.1%
Q7: Calvary UMC functions based on a team approach to ministry.
Strongly Agree 13.2%
Agree 52.8%
Not Sure 24.5%
Disagree 9.4%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q8: 80% of the worshiping congregation is involved in Bible Study, a small group, or Sunday School
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 5.7%
Not Sure 37.7%
Disagree 50.9%
Strongly Disagree 5.7%
Q9: Calvary UMC has a core message that everyone can articulate.
Strongly Agree 5.7%
Agree 32.1%
Not Sure 28.3%
Disagree 30.2%
Strongly Disagree 3.8%
Q10: 30% of the congregation is comprised of visitors each week.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 1.9%
Not Sure 36.5%
Disagree 50.0%
Strongly Disagree 11.5%
Q11: Calvary UMC has a clear plan of discipleship that is regularly articulated and easily accessible to members.
Strongly Agree 4.0%
Agree 36.0%
Not Sure 30.0%
Disagree 30.0%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q12: New ministries emerge and thrive at Calvary UMC regularly.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 24.0%
Not Sure 42.0%
Disagree 34.0%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q13: Calvary UMC has multiple effective outreach and evangelistic ministries to the community.
Strongly Agree 8.0%
Agree 40.0%
Not Sure 28.0%
Disagree 24.0%
Strongly Disagree 0.0%
Q14: Worship is designed to attract seekers and nurture disciples.
Strongly Agree 12.0%
Agree 46.0%
Not Sure 18.0%
Disagree 20.0%
Strongly Disagree 4.0%
Q15: The Calvary UMC leaders and members often pray together to hear God's plan for the church's future.
Strongly Agree 2.0%
Agree 42.0%
Not Sure 40.0%
Disagree 8.0%
Strongly Disagree 8.0%
Q16: There are regular opportunities to evangelize and invite visitors each month.
Strongly Agree 4.0%
Agree 36.0%
Not Sure 38.0%
Disagree 20.0%
Strongly Disagree 2.0%
Q17: 80% of the members are in a small group Bible study.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 4.0%
Not Sure 42.0%
Disagree 36.0%
Strongly Disagree 18.0%
Q18: Leadership development is a priority at Calvary UMC.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 38.0%
Not Sure 30.0%
Disagree 30.0%
Strongly Disagree 2.0%
Q19: Calvary UMC is relevant to the emerging communities in Frederick, MD
Strongly Agree 4.0%
Agree 36.0%
Not Sure 32.0%
Disagree 26.0%
Strongly Disagree 2.0%
Q20: The entire church membership is clear about Calvary UMC's purpose and core values.
Strongly Agree 0.0%
Agree 16.3%
Not Sure 36.7%
Disagree 44.9%
Strongly Disagree 2.0%
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
You Are What You Read
You've heard that oft-repeated line, "You are what you eat," right? Well, I suspect that's true about most things. We are a product of our environments, and what we devote our lives to becomes, well, our lives. I'm not one that thinks that playing violent video games necessarily makes a kid a school shooter (the rates simply don't support that) but as I see it, what we see, eat, and read does shape us--I'm pretty sure that major corporations wouldn't spend such obscene amounts of money on advertising if they weren't convinced that is true.
So the same is also true for what we read. Now, this is probably apparent during school--after all, my seminary experience was vastly shaped by the fact that at Duke we read, almost exclusively, the early church fathers in our theology courses. Barth? Who's that? Gregory of Nazianzus? What a stud.
But the same is also true of reading in our "real" lives (seminary always seemed a liminal phase to me).
I've faithfully followed the major Christian mags., evolving from Christianity Today to Christian Century and Alban's Congregations. Meanwhile though, strategist that I am, I found myself delving into the works of Malcolm Gladwell and business leadership writers. And I learned something. Many of the Christian leadership resources are simply business leadership stuff regurgitated (and in "churchy" language) two years later.
I finally put my foot down this year. I courageously stood firm in the face of an onslaught of e-mails from Alban inviting me to renew my subscription, and instead subscribed to the Harvard Business Review. Yes, I do have to do my own "translating" now, but I took a business class in college, so I can find myself around phrases like "emerging markets," thank you very much. No, the leadership wisdom isn't couched in Bible passages, but then, hey, I went to seminary, I can work that out. And yes, I do think that churches would be well served to adopt some (though admittedly not all) of the business world's best practices.
For example, it's not hard to see how you can apply the following guidelines from HBR to church life.
From the article this month "Making Social Ventures Work," we have these five rules:
So the same is also true for what we read. Now, this is probably apparent during school--after all, my seminary experience was vastly shaped by the fact that at Duke we read, almost exclusively, the early church fathers in our theology courses. Barth? Who's that? Gregory of Nazianzus? What a stud.
But the same is also true of reading in our "real" lives (seminary always seemed a liminal phase to me).
I've faithfully followed the major Christian mags., evolving from Christianity Today to Christian Century and Alban's Congregations. Meanwhile though, strategist that I am, I found myself delving into the works of Malcolm Gladwell and business leadership writers. And I learned something. Many of the Christian leadership resources are simply business leadership stuff regurgitated (and in "churchy" language) two years later.
I finally put my foot down this year. I courageously stood firm in the face of an onslaught of e-mails from Alban inviting me to renew my subscription, and instead subscribed to the Harvard Business Review. Yes, I do have to do my own "translating" now, but I took a business class in college, so I can find myself around phrases like "emerging markets," thank you very much. No, the leadership wisdom isn't couched in Bible passages, but then, hey, I went to seminary, I can work that out. And yes, I do think that churches would be well served to adopt some (though admittedly not all) of the business world's best practices.
For example, it's not hard to see how you can apply the following guidelines from HBR to church life.
From the article this month "Making Social Ventures Work," we have these five rules:
- What are you trying to do and what constitutes success?
- How will you mobilize support and neutralize opponents?
- What will eperging data teach you about your proposed business model?
- How can you exit without leaving a large footprint?
- What kinds of second-order effects, both negative and positive, is your venture creating?
- Establishing too many goals.
- Not requiring a plan for how and when goals will be acheived.
- Failing to push for significant improvement for fear that people are already overwhelmed.
- Not assigning clear one-person accountability for each key goal.
- Signaling an unspoken "if you possibly can" at the end of a statement of expectation.
- Accepting reverse assignments ("Sure, boss, I can get it done if you will see to it that...")
- Stating goals in ways that may not be definable or measurable.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Un-Piling
Okay, so the title of this blog could also be something about the black hole of my e-mail inbox.
You know what I mean, don't you? Well, you do if you're a pile-er like myself. As I sit in my office here at church, I'm surrounded by at least four piles of papers. Technically, one of those might actually be two that have simply coalesced into one. I wish I could say I'm one of those people who has stacks but each stack is its own file of sorts. Nope. They're just piles. Some items I know are in here somewhere--and the best I can do is judge by the paper(s) on top how old the stack is and thus surmise the first pile to start checking for a particular item.
Often, though, these piles bide their time until they become so incredibly intrusive (or I become so incredibly bored) so as to require their dismantling. And then the hard work begins--the work I've been avoiding till that point. Un-piling requires such a slew of decisions and additions to my to-do list that it can make my head spin.
If I'm lucky, a good portion of the piles will be remnants of some now-finished project (I'm pretty sure somewhere in here are the first two drafts of the photo directory activity pages...the final draft has already been mailed). In my unlucky moments, I come face to face with some item I had happily forgotten (or ignored). When I un-pile, if I'm honest with myself (and don't content myself to simply end up with one smaller pile), then I have to deal with everything that's here. Deal with it and move on.
You know what, it's all quite daunting, but I always feel better afterward. And that wonderful feeling does last for a while (the older I get, the better I get at keeping the piles at bay to begin with).
Life is a lot like that, I think. We all get that "stuff" that pile up, much of which gets relegated to ignored or forgotten places in our mind, even our heart, until we simply cannot continue to function with all that "stuff" lying around. And then begins the un-piling. Now, it must be admitted that some of us never bother to un-pile, but those are the folks, much like the hoarders whose homes become shrines to their piling, whose very unwillingness to un-pile is evidence of deep disorders. For the emotionally healthy, the un-piling is inevitable. How quickly we do it, and how honestly we can un-pile, is up to us.
So...as both guidance to cleaning up one's office, and perhaps also with some help for all of us in our lives, here are my tried and true tips for un-piling (I'm a good pile-er, so I've got lots of experience):
You know what I mean, don't you? Well, you do if you're a pile-er like myself. As I sit in my office here at church, I'm surrounded by at least four piles of papers. Technically, one of those might actually be two that have simply coalesced into one. I wish I could say I'm one of those people who has stacks but each stack is its own file of sorts. Nope. They're just piles. Some items I know are in here somewhere--and the best I can do is judge by the paper(s) on top how old the stack is and thus surmise the first pile to start checking for a particular item.
Often, though, these piles bide their time until they become so incredibly intrusive (or I become so incredibly bored) so as to require their dismantling. And then the hard work begins--the work I've been avoiding till that point. Un-piling requires such a slew of decisions and additions to my to-do list that it can make my head spin.
If I'm lucky, a good portion of the piles will be remnants of some now-finished project (I'm pretty sure somewhere in here are the first two drafts of the photo directory activity pages...the final draft has already been mailed). In my unlucky moments, I come face to face with some item I had happily forgotten (or ignored). When I un-pile, if I'm honest with myself (and don't content myself to simply end up with one smaller pile), then I have to deal with everything that's here. Deal with it and move on.
You know what, it's all quite daunting, but I always feel better afterward. And that wonderful feeling does last for a while (the older I get, the better I get at keeping the piles at bay to begin with).
Life is a lot like that, I think. We all get that "stuff" that pile up, much of which gets relegated to ignored or forgotten places in our mind, even our heart, until we simply cannot continue to function with all that "stuff" lying around. And then begins the un-piling. Now, it must be admitted that some of us never bother to un-pile, but those are the folks, much like the hoarders whose homes become shrines to their piling, whose very unwillingness to un-pile is evidence of deep disorders. For the emotionally healthy, the un-piling is inevitable. How quickly we do it, and how honestly we can un-pile, is up to us.
So...as both guidance to cleaning up one's office, and perhaps also with some help for all of us in our lives, here are my tried and true tips for un-piling (I'm a good pile-er, so I've got lots of experience):
- Get a good look at all the piles. Take stock, and plan a reasonable amount of time/resources (as best you can predict) to finish the task. It's never good to leave the task half-done, because such situations always seem to re-pile with incredibly speed.
- If there is any question about your ability to swiftly and easily get it all un-piled, get help. As a child, my best friend and I often ended up cleaning each other's room because our mothers realized it was much more fun for each of us to get to sort through the others' stuff. Instead of requiring us to clean the rooms before we had a sleep over, that was often the first task of the sleep-over. Find someone you're comfortable seeing into your piles (and whose sorting advice you trust) and get them to lend a hand.
- Decide what will be done with items once sorted. Options might include trash, DO, and file. Avoid option three as much as possible. Only file items for informational purposes. If there's anything to be done, resolve to DO it. If you can't forsee needing that info any time soon, trash it. Chances are it has sat in that pile for a long time and you never needed it anyway.
- If you've got something in your piles that really should be someone else's task to accomplish, pass it off. If they pile it, that's up to them. But certainly don't let other people's "stuff" add to your piles.
- Do not, under any circumstances, create a "sort later" pile. This is then death knell of all un-piling attempts. It is capitulation to the "stuff". Do not let the "stuff" win! You are in charge, handle it! It may take a bit more time, but trust me, not nearly as much effort as the trouble that may be caused in further ignoring the "stuff," and of course, it's always difficult to forcec yourself to un-pile, so who knows how long it will be till you get back to it. I know that's the attractiveness of re-piling, but DON'T DO IT!
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