Church Leadership

You can't turn on the news lately without seeing some latest story on Christian leadership--whether specifically in a church (Bishop Eddie Long) or beyond (the Roman Catholic Church's handling of something, or the Pope's recent visit to England). As a pastor, I'm also deep into the topic of Christian leadership as I live out my own call, and when I interact with my colleagues in ministry.

In the wake of the Eddie Long allegations, I returned to a book I'd read many years ago, Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership. A short trip to Amazon.com revealed a revised edition has since come out, and thanks to the fact that I can order things a bit too easily on Amazon with an iPhone now, a copy of it now sits on my coffee table (in my defense, I'm not sure where my old copy is, so it's not like I have two now...though I wouldn't be opposed to that...) :-)

On of the major premises of the book is that the same qualities that raise a person to success are the same ones which, left unchecked, which can spell their downfall. And often in equal proportions. This premise isn't new to us, if only because popular discourse has zeroed in of this concept in the years since the book was first published. And yet, our church leaders remain remarkably unaffected by the lessons we have learned along these lines.

I was fortunate in my own ministry to have worked with two pastors during seminary (each during my two required field education placements) whose own lives and examples taught me a great deal about how I wanted to live my life--not just be a pastor, but be a person. On of those pastors is about as different personality-wise from me as is possible. Laid-back, a fount of soothing words and pastoral presence, he routinely cared for himself in the same way he so deftly cared for others. When he was working, he poured himself into it. When he had time off, he did so with the same commitment and ease. All of that, I say, as it seemed to me, of course.

My other supervising pastor had, it seemed to both of us, a quite similar personality to me. Driven, prone to keep at a project till completion, he however had learned through some challenging experiences of his own that you can only drive yourself at a break-neck pace for so long before you crash. His insight and experience he freely shared, and it helped me understand that I needed to reign in my own first-child tendencies before they did me in.

Both men graciously taught me that while it is important to be who God has created me to be, and while I cannot change my personality (and why would I want to, especially the very things that are the basis for any success?), I must manage those same qualities to try to keep them from overgrowing my life--like the kudzu that has overtaken much of the North Carolina roadsides.

That said, I am nowhere near where I'd like to be. My own best habits still don't all come naturally to me, and I struggle (like most people) to balance the various demands upon my time (including my own expectations). As my pregnancy has progressed, it's been interesting to find ways to lighten up on my own expectations for what I will be getting done, since my midwife basically tells me I need to start acting like the 8-month pregnant woman that I am! Now lest you think I'm working myself into an early grave, I am not. Nor am I putting my child at risk. Those aren't the stakes we're talking about. Trust me, if things were bad, I wouldn't blog about them. And nothing frustrates me more than someone simply saying, "Oh, you need to take it easy." Such a line simply denies that each of us are different and the ways we balance our lives are also different.And changing our habits is not easy.

So I am still learning. I am certain I am doing better, and there's nothing like awaiting a baby (and knowing that the chance to slow down will be gone after that!) to actually make you slow down.

We all have our dark sides. They are, indeed, often the same things that make us who we are at our best moments. At our worst moments, they are the strongest qualities of us unchecked. For some it make be the desire to work hard and long (at its worst this destroys other areas of our lives). For others, it may be the ability to take time off (which can devolve into laziness if unchecked). For some it is the ability to offer advice (which in its worst incarnation becomes a patronizing commitment to tell others how to live their lives). For others still, it may be their charisma (which can turn into a self-serving hunger that is fed in unhealthy ways). On and on the list goes.

As Christian leaders, indeed, as Christians, our first focus ought always to be on ourselves, always recognizing our own strengths and weaknesses, and particularly how our dark sides are likely to develop. We must also admit that we are not always (sometimes even usually) the best set of eyes looking at ourselves, and find people we trust to hold us accountable--NOTE: don't ever offer yourself as someone else's source of accountability. Such condescension will nearly always be unwelcome. But when we find those people in our lives who truly know us, not the snippets we share with the world, we can indeed find deep friendships that can help us grow in our strengths without letting those same strengths be the weights that eventually drag us down.