Making Things More Interesting

This past weekend, Chris, Anna and I traveled to St. Louis (well, technically Belleville, IL and environs) for the funeral of his grandmother. Having recently celebrated her 104th birthday, Grandma (Anna) Stutz lived quite a life! Quite well-educated for a farmer's wife, she raised two daughters (including Chris' mother Mary), taught for many years (save the break she was forced to take when, during the Great Depression, she got married and her job was required to be given to a head-of-household) and contributed to her community in many ways. Chris and I found ourselves reflecting upon all the things she saw change during her life, and it's almost mind-boggling to think about! Unfortunately, by the time I got to meet Grandma Stutz a few years ago (it was her 100th birthday and Chris and I traveled out to celebrate her birthday with the family) she was already suffering pretty severely from the mental effects of old ages and Alzheimer (I don't know her actual diagnosis but it seemed to me like others I've seen suffering in that way). In a time when there was a very definite idea of what someone in her place in life would do with their lives, she certainly found ways to make it interesting and chart her own path!

I wondering what the world would be like if more people tried to make things more interesting (well, and if some people did the opposite :-) ). One of the funniest moments on our trip was when, as Chris, Anna and I drove to the other side of St. Louis to visit a church we'd heard of, I was commenting on the sights and, as I told Chris, trying to make St. Louis "more exotic." As we drove, on our right, I saw a cement sculpture/sign, and asked Chris (being, as I was, in my "exotic" mind frame and not really paying enough attention to the fencing just behind it) what a "NOO" was. Chris about crashed the car he was laughing so hard. A zoo. It was a zoo. In my attempts to make things more exotic, I had missed the one thing that truly was exotic :-)



It was a mom moment, what can I say?! :-) Whatever. I was reading it sideways. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The world is full of people who march to the beat of someone else's drummer. And sometimes we need to do that. But some of the best achievements in life have happened because someone refused to be constrained by what everyone else thought was possible. For good and for bad.

I recently saw an episode of Biography on Sam Walton. Here was a guy who bucked what everyone else thought was possible. And did so often at great financial risk to himself. And whatever you think of his legacy and the impact of Walmart on our society--he did indeed achieve a great deal.

There are many ways we can break expectations--and it requires setting priorities. For some, it may have to do with our influence on our families. Our commitment to helping others. Our skill at something in particular. And yes, sometimes even our business success. It may be helping people become and grow as disciples, or providing housing for those without. God has called each of us, I can convinced, to shatter the roles that society would seek to push us into. God has called us to make things more interesting. May 2012 be the year we do just that!

On Monologues and Diatribes

I pretty much hate bumper stickers. Not so much the cute symbol kind, but the ones with sayings. Even if I agree with what's on the bumper sticker, it usually annoys me. Here's why: it's so darn passive-aggressive.

I must confess that I know a thing or two about being passive-aggressive. Like most people, perhaps all, it is one of the biggest evidences of THE FALL in me. Passive-aggressiveness takes the basic inward focus of Sin and makes it even more interestingly horrible by couching that self-focus in smugness and just not being up front about things. Yes, I do this sometimes. It's one of my goals to do it less--a goal I do take quite seriously as part of my ordination commitment to be moving on to perfection. And, really, my commitment as a follow of Christ even outside of that.

That brings me back to bumper stickers. They seem to me to be a cute, passive-aggressive monologue or diatribe. They make a statement without inviting discussion and in their arrogant pronouncements, they do not foster community, but rather build boundaries. That's what gets me.

The same thing is true, it seems of so much of our conversations these days. I'm not going to say it's because of the modern world, though our technologies make it easier if you're looking to do it. Case in point, yes, ironically, this is a diatribe against diatribes. But please, comment, so it's more of a discussions :-)

You know that email lesson we all learn the hard way? About not sending emails when you're upset. Or when they could be easily misinterpreted? Or just generally when you or the other person is frustrated? If you are anything like me, this is a lesson you have to relearn to many times. I do this. I hate it when I do. I'm getting better. But I'm no spokesperson for this yet. But don't you wish we were all better at this?

We live in a world where many of the conversations around us aren't really conversations. There isn't nearly as much listening going on as preparing to respond. I can't tell you how many times I've done this, seen this, had to counsel people about this...and it all comes back to our own inward focus.

I hope this year you can join me in making a commitment. That though the tendency to monologue and engage in diatribe is strong in us indeed, in 2012 we'll try to be a little less like a bumper sticker. We'll try to listen more. Take others' differing opinions more gently. And just, you know, generally be a bit less aggressive in our "conversations" with one another. We all need to give as well as receive this gift this year.