On Monologues and Diatribes

I pretty much hate bumper stickers. Not so much the cute symbol kind, but the ones with sayings. Even if I agree with what's on the bumper sticker, it usually annoys me. Here's why: it's so darn passive-aggressive.

I must confess that I know a thing or two about being passive-aggressive. Like most people, perhaps all, it is one of the biggest evidences of THE FALL in me. Passive-aggressiveness takes the basic inward focus of Sin and makes it even more interestingly horrible by couching that self-focus in smugness and just not being up front about things. Yes, I do this sometimes. It's one of my goals to do it less--a goal I do take quite seriously as part of my ordination commitment to be moving on to perfection. And, really, my commitment as a follow of Christ even outside of that.

That brings me back to bumper stickers. They seem to me to be a cute, passive-aggressive monologue or diatribe. They make a statement without inviting discussion and in their arrogant pronouncements, they do not foster community, but rather build boundaries. That's what gets me.

The same thing is true, it seems of so much of our conversations these days. I'm not going to say it's because of the modern world, though our technologies make it easier if you're looking to do it. Case in point, yes, ironically, this is a diatribe against diatribes. But please, comment, so it's more of a discussions :-)

You know that email lesson we all learn the hard way? About not sending emails when you're upset. Or when they could be easily misinterpreted? Or just generally when you or the other person is frustrated? If you are anything like me, this is a lesson you have to relearn to many times. I do this. I hate it when I do. I'm getting better. But I'm no spokesperson for this yet. But don't you wish we were all better at this?

We live in a world where many of the conversations around us aren't really conversations. There isn't nearly as much listening going on as preparing to respond. I can't tell you how many times I've done this, seen this, had to counsel people about this...and it all comes back to our own inward focus.

I hope this year you can join me in making a commitment. That though the tendency to monologue and engage in diatribe is strong in us indeed, in 2012 we'll try to be a little less like a bumper sticker. We'll try to listen more. Take others' differing opinions more gently. And just, you know, generally be a bit less aggressive in our "conversations" with one another. We all need to give as well as receive this gift this year.