More from Generation to Generation

In my last post, I ended by starting to share some quotes (albeit out context) from Edwin Friedman's Generation to Generation. I"ve actually been using that book as I work on my second of two sermons for this Sunday, this one being for our new service The Sanctuary. We're doing a summer series where we look at a different secular song each time, and this week the song is "Mean" by Taylor Swift. I'm using Romans 12:19-21 as the scripture.

19  Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God;  for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."  20  No, "if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads."  21  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

It seemed appropriate, then, to approach this through the lens of systems theory, and how we should be conducting ourselves when others are being dysfunctional. Or, better put, we find ourselves in a dysfunctional, unhealthy system.

So, here are some more quotes from Generation to Generation:

• In fact, much of what we label stress is the response of the organism rather than the impact of the environment. (63)
• Effective healing occurs when the counselor is less anxious to relieve the symptom and instead uses it as a pathway into the emotional system. (71)
• The capacity of congregational members to view us objectively is directly related to the degree of differentiation they were able to achieve from their real parents. (149)
• The notion that people might not be able to "take" the truth probably has more to do with the anxiety of the individuals who are thinking that way. (172)
• A wedding is like an iceburg: only one-eighth of the moving mass will be visible, but the process and decision usually have the impetus of generations of build-up. (179)
• Individuals who are satisfied in their own marriage rarely react intensely to another's. (180)
• On the topic of triangulation and burnout, "Resting and refreshment do not change triangles." (216)
• Three problems with consensus: (227)
• The family led by consensus will tend to be less imaginative.
• Leaderless groups are more easily panicked and the anxiety tends of cascade.
• Emphasis on consensus gives strength to the extremists.

Well, that ends things I'd underlined, and certainly isn't the best summary of the book (in the course of flipping through I got drawn in, and am only sad I can't paste in whole pages...well, really then entire book). Good stuff.