The Inheritance--The Greatest Gift

Yesterday I shared that my father often lent or gave me (and others) books. To be honest, there are some books I know were gifts, but others I suspect were lent...and I just conveniently forgot (and Dad never requested them back).

As I have received the thoughts and prayers of so many, but particularly my clergy and conference colleagues in recent days--and especially as I saw the clergy process in to Dad's service yesterday (the one moment I was most powerfully brought to tears) I was reminded of a story from one of those books Dad either gave or lent me. The book is entitled Stories for Telling, by William R. White (Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1986). The story is "The Inheritance." This is one that had stuck in my mind though I haven't pulled the book out for perhaps years. When I pulled it off my office shelves this morning, I found this was the only story book marked in the book. God thing. :-)

The story (said to come from Jewish folklore) goes something like this: There once was a man with ten children who promised to give all his kids 100 gold coins on the day of his death. When the promise was made, he had great wealth and this was not an incredible commitment. However, in his last days, he fell on difficult times and he discovered he would not be able to keep that promise. 

In the day of the man's death, he called his children to him one by one, beginning with the oldest. To each he gave one bag of 100 gold coins, as promised. However, when he came to his youngest son, he was only able to give 20 coins. He explained this to the son, who asked why the father had not, then, made adjustments to the amounts for all the children. the father told the son it was better to keep the promise to as many as possible, but that in addition to those 20 coins, he would give that son his greatest treasure--his ten closest friends. The father explained these were worth more than any gold, and asked his son to be kind to them.

The father died, and the family mourned. When the time of mourning had passed, the older nine left to spend their inheritance. The youngest remained home, saddened by his situation. Though he felt little desire to do so, he decided to honor his father's wishes and reach out to those ten friends. He spent all of his inheritance to invite the friends to dinner.

The friends were impressed with the son's kindness, reflecting that he was the only child who had reached out to them. So the day after the dinner, they each sent gifts of cattle and money. The friends also helped the son care for the cattle and invest the money. Very soon, the youngest son had greater wealth than all the other siblings. Above his desk, he wrote the words, "Friendship is of more value than gold."

Now, ours has never been a family of wealth or inheritance, but it struck me, as I have been so supported and encouraged by my colleagues, that my father gave me (and my siblings) this greatest gift--the gift of friendship and of being part of an annual conference (and for me, and soon my brother Dan, the Order of Elders, and the friendship of the cool folks in the Order of Deacons). This has, and remains the greatest gift. Thank you all.

My Dad

Today was the memorial service for my dad, Rick Andrews. Technically in the UMC we call it "A Service of Death and Resurrection," which I much prefer. With input from family, I put together a brief summary of Dad's life. The morning after I'd written it, I woke up with a million more things that I thought should be included, but at some point you just have to lay it aside and decide it is enough for now. Still so hard to believe he's gone. So, here it is...not nearly enough, and even reading this, it fails to capture Dad's story, the complexities and challenges of it, or the heights of it, but it's something.

Note: Though I read this referring to "Dad," I wrote it using his name in case my husband Chris or someone else had to step in if I got too emotional.

Richard Willard Andrews was born March 17, 1958 in Carlisle, Pennsylvania. He was the fourth of five children, joining older sisters Barbara, Rebecca and Deborah, and followed by brother Robert. His birth was celebrated locally by an historic March snowstorm the following day which dumped two feet of snow in the area. Ricky, as he was then known, joined the itinerant lifestyle of a Evangelical United Brethren clergy family, finding himself moving multiple times throughout his childhood and youth. By the time the family found themselves in Frederick, Maryland, Rick had shared in many fun times with family and friends—and become a United Methodist. In Frederick, while his father served as Frederick District Superintendent, Rick found a church home at Brook Hill UMC which not only nurtured his involvement in scouting, but also laid the groundwork for his call to ministry, thanks to the pastorates of Lou Robson and Carl Rife.

Rick’s childhood and youth was also filled with many family camping trips, which allowed him to perfect his skill making hobo stew. Rick fancied himself an editor and publisher, beginning with his publishing of his own community newsletter, The West Hills Flash, a publication he had delivered in his family’s Frederick neighborhood. His passion for editing would later flourish as he had opportunity to serve as the editor of his high school newspaper at Thomas Johnson High School in Frederick, Maryland. Remarkably, Rick managed all of this while being himself a horrible speller, who relied as great deal on the proofreading skills of his father.

After a somewhat adventurous youth in Frederick, Rick enrolled at Frostburg State University, where he studied philosophy and English. Though he began his time at Frostburg with little thought to much besides his studies and having a fun college experience, Rick would soon become involved in a college campus ministry that once again nurtured his call to ministry—and thus redirected his focus. It is reported that Rick use to play the Christian rock music of Larry Norman and Randy Stonehill out the window of his high Westminster dorm room to the whole quad. He and his friends Rodney, Eric and Rob use to go up to Backbone Mountain and minister to the youth incarcerated up there.  In the middle of his college career, he met and married the president of the Baptist student ministry, Patsy Brooks.

Rick and Patsy graduated from Frostburg in 1980, two months shy of the birth of their first child, daughter Sarah. Immediately following graduation at Frostburg, and having finally heeded a call to ministry, Rick led the small family to North Carolina, where he began studies at Duke Divinity School and served as student pastor at Ca-Vel UMC. While in North Carolina, Rick and Patsy welcomed Sarah and son Daniel.

After graduating from Duke in 1984, the family returned to Maryland, where Rick began his first full-time position, serving as associate pastor at Chevy Chase UMC. There, the family welcomed daughter Elizabeth then son Jordan. Chevy Chase UMC was a wonderful place for the young family to connect with other families, become exposed to a great diversity of people, and share memorable experiences like camping out together in the living room during a week-long power outage due to an ice storm.

Rick was next appointed to a new church start in Germantown, then took a leave from active ministry. When he returned to ministry, he began a thirteen year tenure at Brooklyn UMC. While there, he continued to nurture his love of history—particularly Civil War history, as well as his love of a wide range of music. Both of these passions he earnestly attempted to instill in his four children. He and Patsy enjoyed offering hospitality to all, and Rick sought to lead the congregation into new ways of serving the community.

Rick always maintained a sense of adventure and a child-like spirit. He rejoiced in the adventures of others, including his children—even when those adventures might make some parents cringe. Rick found joy in even the smallest things, and sought opportunities to help others do the same. For him, this was deeply rooted in his love of God and understanding of the power of the grace and love of God in the world. In recent years, this was evidenced by his joy in preparing to read to the students at his daughter Liz’s school—where he showed up in a bright red jacket and a Winnie the Pooh tie!

In 2005, Rick married his second wife Susan, and began a new appointment at Mill Creek Parish UMC. He treasured his wife and their life together. He developed a new interest in gardening, and enjoyed spoiling their cats. Rick’s love of hospitality continued as he and Susan enjoyed opportunities to host gatherings of family, friends and their MCP family at their home. Rick was particularly proud of the involvement of the MCP family with the Appalachian Service Project.

Rick loved music, both recorded, sung, and played. He himself was a gifted tenor, and for a time, skilled on the acoustic guitar—an interest he was pleased to share with his sons Dan and Jordan. He taught his children to value all kinds of music, from Gregorian chants to classic rock and 90s rap. In recent years, Rick rediscovered a love for golf and developed skill as a connoisseur of craft beers.

Rick was always interested in learning, and loved finding the best books. He was an avid reader, and enjoyed recommending good reads to others. His children, and no doubt others, have many books in their possession which were lovingly passed along for their enjoyment and edification. Rick also valued keeping an open mind and seeing where God was leading him and the Church. He became passionate about the church being inclusive of all people, and constantly sought to find ways to help people understand and accept God’s love and grace for themselves. He particularly enjoyed working with those entering and serving in ministry through his work on two District Committees of Ordained Ministry and on the conference Board of Ordained Ministry.

Rick was proud that all four of his children found ways to serve God, whether through active ministry in the UMC (Sarah and Dan), worship leadership and camp staff positions (Jordan) or teaching in the Baltimore City School system (Liz). He was proud and elated to become a grandfather when Anna Marie was born in 2010, and he was anxiously awaiting the arrival of his second granddaughter due to join the family this August.

Rick is remembered lovingly by his wife Susan, his children, his granddaughter, his parents, siblings and extended family, his friends, colleagues, and church family as a loving example of God’s grace at work in the world. The joy which poured forth from him testifies to his own deep relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and echoes John Wesley’s statement, “The best of all is…God is with us.”