Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
ALL: the footnotes
Okay, here's the follow up to my last blog. Because there is something that we begin to infer when we talk about ALL. Sure, we say, hurray for ALL. Let's reach all people. Off we go...
...only to learn, if we haven't already, that you cannot be all things to all people. Really, you can't. We are finite creatures, and the truth is, some people just are not going to connect with you. Or me. That doesn't make you or me, or them, bad people. It is just a fact of life. It doesn't mean we aren't caring or compassionate, or always seeking to share God's love. It does mean, for example, that someone who has overcome an alcohol addition themselves may be (not always, but often) better able to relate their faith in God to someone in the throws of an addition.
Abraham Lincoln once said something like this: You can please some of the people some of the time all of the people some of the time some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time.
That, I have found, is quite true. When it's pleasing people or connecting with them. We also know this from study, time and again. We may not like it, but it's true. We can either fight against this, and proclaim it's untruth, or accept it and decide to work with it.
Here's an example. Experts tell us that in terms of church, especially new church starts and attracting new people, pastors can really only effectively and consistently bring in people 5-10 years older or younger than themselves. That doesn't mean that 20 year olds only grow under the pastorates of thirty and twenty year olds. But it does mean that we should accept the fact that a fifty year old pastor probably cannot, on their own, increase the young adult population of their church all that much. Now get a younger clergy, staff or lay person involved, even under that direct leadership of that same pastor, bingo. It of course depends on the personality of that pastor, but your chances have just gone way up.
All of this is to say that what we as a church family ought first to do is take stock or who we are. We can change that, but we need to be honest with ourselves first. The default attraction of our congregation will be people who are similar to us. What would that be? We need to figure that out. Let's start with this...take a few moments yourselves to honestly describe yourself. Your age, race, culture, economic status, length of living in Frederick, on and on. Do you have kids? What activities do you enjoy? Humans are attracted first to people most similar to themselves. There are a lot of caveats to this, of course. And the group that most defines us may be different. For some it's their faith, for others their race, others yet, their education level or economic status. SO don't even assume you know someone's key identities. But do be honest about who you are and who you connect best with.
We cannot, sad as it is, be all things to all people. We CAN be Christ to all people, but not everyone will be attracted to us. That's okay. There are reasons you are part of Calvary and not another church family. But let's get really clear on who we are, so we can really reach out to those people who are looking for something we have to offer, so that with them we can also grow more diverse within the community that God has formed here at Calvary.
...only to learn, if we haven't already, that you cannot be all things to all people. Really, you can't. We are finite creatures, and the truth is, some people just are not going to connect with you. Or me. That doesn't make you or me, or them, bad people. It is just a fact of life. It doesn't mean we aren't caring or compassionate, or always seeking to share God's love. It does mean, for example, that someone who has overcome an alcohol addition themselves may be (not always, but often) better able to relate their faith in God to someone in the throws of an addition.
Abraham Lincoln once said something like this: You can please some of the people some of the time all of the people some of the time some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time.
That, I have found, is quite true. When it's pleasing people or connecting with them. We also know this from study, time and again. We may not like it, but it's true. We can either fight against this, and proclaim it's untruth, or accept it and decide to work with it.
Here's an example. Experts tell us that in terms of church, especially new church starts and attracting new people, pastors can really only effectively and consistently bring in people 5-10 years older or younger than themselves. That doesn't mean that 20 year olds only grow under the pastorates of thirty and twenty year olds. But it does mean that we should accept the fact that a fifty year old pastor probably cannot, on their own, increase the young adult population of their church all that much. Now get a younger clergy, staff or lay person involved, even under that direct leadership of that same pastor, bingo. It of course depends on the personality of that pastor, but your chances have just gone way up.
All of this is to say that what we as a church family ought first to do is take stock or who we are. We can change that, but we need to be honest with ourselves first. The default attraction of our congregation will be people who are similar to us. What would that be? We need to figure that out. Let's start with this...take a few moments yourselves to honestly describe yourself. Your age, race, culture, economic status, length of living in Frederick, on and on. Do you have kids? What activities do you enjoy? Humans are attracted first to people most similar to themselves. There are a lot of caveats to this, of course. And the group that most defines us may be different. For some it's their faith, for others their race, others yet, their education level or economic status. SO don't even assume you know someone's key identities. But do be honest about who you are and who you connect best with.
We cannot, sad as it is, be all things to all people. We CAN be Christ to all people, but not everyone will be attracted to us. That's okay. There are reasons you are part of Calvary and not another church family. But let's get really clear on who we are, so we can really reach out to those people who are looking for something we have to offer, so that with them we can also grow more diverse within the community that God has formed here at Calvary.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
ALL
The next word in our new vision statement is ALL. Here is an interesting word indeed!
Think about it. This is an issue for us just as it was for the religious leaders of Jesus' day. And there are a lot of complicated arguments and questions people will ask.
On face value, all is, well, all. It's a basic word, and we know what it means. But now take that same word and apply it to who God loves, who is doing what they should, who we WANT to seek or invite, and suddenly a simple word raises lots of reactions...many of them fraught with emotion.
Think back to the story of the rich man's banquet I referred to in my posting on INVITE. I think this really pushes to have a very broad (and in fact basic) understanding of ALL. Those on the roads and in the alleys were the ones who came to the party...because, indeed, the others would not come.
But it doesn't stop there. Jesus' entire ministry was about broadening everyone's understanding of who were God's people. Jesus was thoroughly Jewish, but he and his disciples sometimes pushed the envelope with the religious purity laws. Jesus was interested in relationship...primarily the relationship of people with God, but also with one another. And usually when we start limiting our understanding of ALL, our relationships become, to some extent, broken.
As a closing thought for now, check out this video of a song by Mark Miller called, "Draw the Circle Wide" and think about your understanding of who it is we do (or should...or perhaps should not) seek and invite. Where might God be calling us to widen our circle? How can we be in relationship with others even in the midst of perhaps disagreeing with some of their choices?
Think about it. This is an issue for us just as it was for the religious leaders of Jesus' day. And there are a lot of complicated arguments and questions people will ask.
On face value, all is, well, all. It's a basic word, and we know what it means. But now take that same word and apply it to who God loves, who is doing what they should, who we WANT to seek or invite, and suddenly a simple word raises lots of reactions...many of them fraught with emotion.
Think back to the story of the rich man's banquet I referred to in my posting on INVITE. I think this really pushes to have a very broad (and in fact basic) understanding of ALL. Those on the roads and in the alleys were the ones who came to the party...because, indeed, the others would not come.
But it doesn't stop there. Jesus' entire ministry was about broadening everyone's understanding of who were God's people. Jesus was thoroughly Jewish, but he and his disciples sometimes pushed the envelope with the religious purity laws. Jesus was interested in relationship...primarily the relationship of people with God, but also with one another. And usually when we start limiting our understanding of ALL, our relationships become, to some extent, broken.
As a closing thought for now, check out this video of a song by Mark Miller called, "Draw the Circle Wide" and think about your understanding of who it is we do (or should...or perhaps should not) seek and invite. Where might God be calling us to widen our circle? How can we be in relationship with others even in the midst of perhaps disagreeing with some of their choices?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
INVITE: a note
Just a follow up note to the blog I just posted. You also need to be in relationship with a lot of people if you ever hope to have the opportunity to invite someone to church. Many Christians (many people, in fact) are friends with people very similar to them. This means many of your friends attend Calvary or some other church already. Did you know that while in a new church start it takes about 2 people to get one new person, in an existing congregation it takes dozens, even more than 50 perhaps? I think part of this is about excitement level, but part is also about who those in the church spend their time with.
NEVER enter a relationship with anyone with ulterior motives. Don't befriend someone then drift away just because they don't come to church. That is not an authentic relationship. But do try to find new ways to meet people and to get to know them. If the opportunity arises, you can invite them...but never let that overshadow your relationship with them. Be Jesus first. Be a member of Calvary a distant second.
NEVER enter a relationship with anyone with ulterior motives. Don't befriend someone then drift away just because they don't come to church. That is not an authentic relationship. But do try to find new ways to meet people and to get to know them. If the opportunity arises, you can invite them...but never let that overshadow your relationship with them. Be Jesus first. Be a member of Calvary a distant second.
INVITE, Part 2
Hmm...so my second INVITE blog did not, as promised, come last week. Sorry about that! I am still trying to get on a more routine blogging schedule. Some weeks are good, others, well, there are always those weeks from time to time...
I want to share some thoughts and questions to close out our thinking on INVITE. Last week I wrote about some of the foundations of the idea, and so today I want us to really connect this idea with our ministry at Calvary.
I think the biggest two roadblocks we have to inviting people are these:
1. Having something we're excited about so that we want to invite them. Let's be honest. It's way easier to invite someone to something you're confident they'll really enjoy than something you just think they'd like ok. Here's an example: we've got charge conferences coming up this Saturday at Calvary. In addition to our own, we're hosting something like 25. I am not, honestly, a hard-sell inviter for charge conference. We've changed the way they're done in this conference, and have stripped the reports to bare minimum. The District Superintendent doesn't preside at even the majority of charge conference, so it's no longer an opportunity for people to interact with the DS. It is important that people come, but unless there is some controversial issue to be decided, it's hard to justify inviting a parent to miss their kid's soccer game or something to come. It's am obligation thing, not particularly exciting.
Church is the same way. If we are inviting people because we have some sense they they have an obligation to go to some church (and so hey, why not ours?) then it's going to be more difficult to get ourselves to invite, and our invitation will be, well, lame. On the other hand, if we're super excited, it will show and we will be a lot more likely to invite someone. Therefore, our "inviting" has to do with our entire ministry. And why we purposely can use special events as an entry for new people. Your input is helpful for us as well. Is there something happening (or not happening) that if changed would make you even more excited about what's happening at Calvary? If so, let us know! Unfortunately we can't do everything, especially all at once, but we can do a lot. Sometimes we do or don't do something simply because no one has ever suggested another option.
2. We don't want to be one of those people. You know the ones I mean. The hard-sellers. The Christians will bullhorns on street corners (or the ones who might as well have one). All of us have our stories about run-ins with the forceful, aggressive "evangelists". Watch the film Jesus Camp. It's pretty intense for some people. I still can't figure out, though, how we think this sort of hard sell is going to make people want to come be one of us. After all, isn't that, essentially, what we're asking them?
There's this implicit side (sometimes it's not even implicit but evident) that comes out in these forceful attempts...like if someone doesn't agree with us they're going to hell. And for most of us, we don't want people to read that into what we say when we invite them to church. All we may mean is, "I like this place and these people, and I think you might too." But we worry they'll remember all those forceful Christians and think we're doing the same thing.
How to fix that? Well, first off, don't walk around with a bullhorn. Second, if someone doesn't seem interested, don't pressure them. Remember it's God that works in people's lives, not us. If you keep being Christ in your life and to that person, they will see that. But don't be afraid to offer your invitation, just make sure you are doing so in an authentic way. Be in relationship with someone before you suggest they come to church (except in certain circumstances)...after all, isn't that how you would want to be approached? How likely would you be to attend a political rally for a candidate if some random person invited you? How much more likely if your good friend and neighbor invited you.
This is pretty basic stuff. Just be yourself. Act like you would with anything else in life. If you're excited about your relationship with God and your involvement in the congregation, inviting people will come a lot more naturally.
I want to share some thoughts and questions to close out our thinking on INVITE. Last week I wrote about some of the foundations of the idea, and so today I want us to really connect this idea with our ministry at Calvary.
I think the biggest two roadblocks we have to inviting people are these:
1. Having something we're excited about so that we want to invite them. Let's be honest. It's way easier to invite someone to something you're confident they'll really enjoy than something you just think they'd like ok. Here's an example: we've got charge conferences coming up this Saturday at Calvary. In addition to our own, we're hosting something like 25. I am not, honestly, a hard-sell inviter for charge conference. We've changed the way they're done in this conference, and have stripped the reports to bare minimum. The District Superintendent doesn't preside at even the majority of charge conference, so it's no longer an opportunity for people to interact with the DS. It is important that people come, but unless there is some controversial issue to be decided, it's hard to justify inviting a parent to miss their kid's soccer game or something to come. It's am obligation thing, not particularly exciting.
Church is the same way. If we are inviting people because we have some sense they they have an obligation to go to some church (and so hey, why not ours?) then it's going to be more difficult to get ourselves to invite, and our invitation will be, well, lame. On the other hand, if we're super excited, it will show and we will be a lot more likely to invite someone. Therefore, our "inviting" has to do with our entire ministry. And why we purposely can use special events as an entry for new people. Your input is helpful for us as well. Is there something happening (or not happening) that if changed would make you even more excited about what's happening at Calvary? If so, let us know! Unfortunately we can't do everything, especially all at once, but we can do a lot. Sometimes we do or don't do something simply because no one has ever suggested another option.
2. We don't want to be one of those people. You know the ones I mean. The hard-sellers. The Christians will bullhorns on street corners (or the ones who might as well have one). All of us have our stories about run-ins with the forceful, aggressive "evangelists". Watch the film Jesus Camp. It's pretty intense for some people. I still can't figure out, though, how we think this sort of hard sell is going to make people want to come be one of us. After all, isn't that, essentially, what we're asking them?
There's this implicit side (sometimes it's not even implicit but evident) that comes out in these forceful attempts...like if someone doesn't agree with us they're going to hell. And for most of us, we don't want people to read that into what we say when we invite them to church. All we may mean is, "I like this place and these people, and I think you might too." But we worry they'll remember all those forceful Christians and think we're doing the same thing.
How to fix that? Well, first off, don't walk around with a bullhorn. Second, if someone doesn't seem interested, don't pressure them. Remember it's God that works in people's lives, not us. If you keep being Christ in your life and to that person, they will see that. But don't be afraid to offer your invitation, just make sure you are doing so in an authentic way. Be in relationship with someone before you suggest they come to church (except in certain circumstances)...after all, isn't that how you would want to be approached? How likely would you be to attend a political rally for a candidate if some random person invited you? How much more likely if your good friend and neighbor invited you.
This is pretty basic stuff. Just be yourself. Act like you would with anything else in life. If you're excited about your relationship with God and your involvement in the congregation, inviting people will come a lot more naturally.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
INVITE, Part 1
As we continue discerning our path together as a congregation, today I wanted to address the second key word in our new vision statement: INVITE.
Luke 14:16-24
16 Then Jesus said to him, "Someone gave a great dinner and invited many. 17 At the time for the dinner he sent his slave to say to those who had been invited, "Come; for everything is ready now.' 18 But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, "I have bought a piece of land, and I must go out and see it; please accept my regrets.' 19 Another said, "I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to try them out; please accept my regrets.' 20 Another said, "I have just been married, and therefore I cannot come.' 21 So the slave returned and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and said to his slave, "Go out at once into the streets and lanes of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.' 22 And the slave said, "Sir, what you ordered has been done, and there is still room.' 23 Then the master said to the slave, "Go out into the roads and lanes, and compel people to come in, so that my house may be filled. 24 For I tell you, none of those who were invited will taste my dinner.' "
This parable of Jesus, often called the Parable of the Great Banquet, touches powerfully on this word INVITE. How many times have we, like the first guests, turned down an invitation because we had something else to do. I mean, on face value, we might say, "Well, it happens, things come up." And that's true.
I remember when Chris and I were rounding the corner on wedding planning and our ceremony and reception were only days away. We had done a respectable job getting an RSVP from everyone, and we did the seating chart, etc. Of course, there are always changes, people who can't come, people who want another guest, you know.
My uncle Ken and his family ended up not being able to make it because a hurricane was hurdling towards their home and his wife had elderly relatives there to look after. That is a good reason. But then there were the people who just, well, didn't show. Even people we had spoken to recently. There weren't many of those, and to be honest, we could've guess who would flake out. But it was, indeed, infuriating.
We can all begin to imagine the host in this passage and the anger and frustration at the response of his first invited guests. They all had something else to do. Jesus of course told this parable to and about the Pharisees, illustrating how thos who might first be expected to be the favored or chosen ones had, themselves, removed themselves from the party. They had become so self-important that they missed the point.
So the host invited everyone else. All the people that no respectable person would ever invite. I imagine it was quite a wild party!
This is precisely, though, that same message we need to hear today. God's invitation is not for the "best" people...but for all people, especially the ones we might not first think to invite. What does this mean for us as we think about how we invite and who we invite? It means the people God is calling us to invite may not be on their way to us already. They may think we don't even want them. Or, they may have been told directly they're not invited.
At In the Street last week, we had a sign at our booth that read, "What if church was a verb instead of a noun?" It drew some curiosity, and some people came and asked about it. Young people were especially intrigued. As I was standing there with others from Calvary, a group of rather hip young adults/older youth walked by, and I could tell were reading the sign. I asked them if they wanted a magnet (we were handing out magnets with our worship times, etc.). They said no, but as they walked by, one young man walked up to me and said, "I'm gay. Could I come to your church?" I responded "Yes." and before I could say anything else, he nodded and continued on with his friends. The suddenness of our interaction was disconcerting, but even more so was the reminder that this young man had perhaps experienced not invitation but exclusion at the hand of some Christian(s) to ask that question.
Let's be honest. We're often much better at listing off who we don't want to invite than who we do. At those times, we are more like the Pharisees than Jesus. But it doesn't have to be that way.
God calls us to be part of God's Great Banquet--the coming of God's kingdom. We not only get to attend, but we get to help invite! To go to those people and places that others might walk past and share our excitement and God's love with them. And invite them to their place at the table.
I will write again later this week about invitation, and suggest some more specific questions for us all to think about. For now though, I invite you to think about these:
1. What was the best invitation you ever received?
2. Think of a time you were somewhere that you felt very unwelcome. Describe that experience.
3. What was the last thing you invited someone too? Describe that experience.
Luke 14:16-24
16 Then Jesus said to him, "Someone gave a great dinner and invited many. 17 At the time for the dinner he sent his slave to say to those who had been invited, "Come; for everything is ready now.' 18 But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, "I have bought a piece of land, and I must go out and see it; please accept my regrets.' 19 Another said, "I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to try them out; please accept my regrets.' 20 Another said, "I have just been married, and therefore I cannot come.' 21 So the slave returned and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and said to his slave, "Go out at once into the streets and lanes of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.' 22 And the slave said, "Sir, what you ordered has been done, and there is still room.' 23 Then the master said to the slave, "Go out into the roads and lanes, and compel people to come in, so that my house may be filled. 24 For I tell you, none of those who were invited will taste my dinner.' "
This parable of Jesus, often called the Parable of the Great Banquet, touches powerfully on this word INVITE. How many times have we, like the first guests, turned down an invitation because we had something else to do. I mean, on face value, we might say, "Well, it happens, things come up." And that's true.
I remember when Chris and I were rounding the corner on wedding planning and our ceremony and reception were only days away. We had done a respectable job getting an RSVP from everyone, and we did the seating chart, etc. Of course, there are always changes, people who can't come, people who want another guest, you know.
My uncle Ken and his family ended up not being able to make it because a hurricane was hurdling towards their home and his wife had elderly relatives there to look after. That is a good reason. But then there were the people who just, well, didn't show. Even people we had spoken to recently. There weren't many of those, and to be honest, we could've guess who would flake out. But it was, indeed, infuriating.
We can all begin to imagine the host in this passage and the anger and frustration at the response of his first invited guests. They all had something else to do. Jesus of course told this parable to and about the Pharisees, illustrating how thos who might first be expected to be the favored or chosen ones had, themselves, removed themselves from the party. They had become so self-important that they missed the point.
So the host invited everyone else. All the people that no respectable person would ever invite. I imagine it was quite a wild party!
This is precisely, though, that same message we need to hear today. God's invitation is not for the "best" people...but for all people, especially the ones we might not first think to invite. What does this mean for us as we think about how we invite and who we invite? It means the people God is calling us to invite may not be on their way to us already. They may think we don't even want them. Or, they may have been told directly they're not invited.
At In the Street last week, we had a sign at our booth that read, "What if church was a verb instead of a noun?" It drew some curiosity, and some people came and asked about it. Young people were especially intrigued. As I was standing there with others from Calvary, a group of rather hip young adults/older youth walked by, and I could tell were reading the sign. I asked them if they wanted a magnet (we were handing out magnets with our worship times, etc.). They said no, but as they walked by, one young man walked up to me and said, "I'm gay. Could I come to your church?" I responded "Yes." and before I could say anything else, he nodded and continued on with his friends. The suddenness of our interaction was disconcerting, but even more so was the reminder that this young man had perhaps experienced not invitation but exclusion at the hand of some Christian(s) to ask that question.
Let's be honest. We're often much better at listing off who we don't want to invite than who we do. At those times, we are more like the Pharisees than Jesus. But it doesn't have to be that way.
God calls us to be part of God's Great Banquet--the coming of God's kingdom. We not only get to attend, but we get to help invite! To go to those people and places that others might walk past and share our excitement and God's love with them. And invite them to their place at the table.
I will write again later this week about invitation, and suggest some more specific questions for us all to think about. For now though, I invite you to think about these:
1. What was the best invitation you ever received?
2. Think of a time you were somewhere that you felt very unwelcome. Describe that experience.
3. What was the last thing you invited someone too? Describe that experience.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Calvary UMC Kitchen Update
You have no doubt noticed and heard about all the work being done to renovate our kitchen at Calvary! Completion of the project is expected in the coming weeks, and all ready, it's looking like a kitchen again. Check out these pictures taken yesterday to see how things are looking!
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