Jonestown

This past week, my husband Chris and I sat down to watch the CNN special on Jonestown that we'd recorded on DVR. I thought I knew a good amount, of course I have heard the "drinking the koolaid" saying. I even, knowing I'd be watching it and not being a patient person...at all...Googled the story to learn a bit more.

If you don't know much about Jonestown, you should learn about it. One of the ironies that they closed the CNN special was a sign at the site of the mass gathering where all of those 900+ people committed sucide or were killed, that said basically, "Those who don't know the past are doomed to repeat it."

The rise of cults is increasingly understood by experts in the light of the social and pyschological elements they touch upon. And we are increasingly learning about how a person's religious journey then ties into it all. So now that we know so much, you'd think we'd know enough to stop it from happening. The challenge is, so often these things begin "innocently enough." I mean, Jim Jones (who from many angles now looks like a crazy guy) started off as a local preacher in the Methodist Church who got kicked out of his little church in Indiana for trying to integrate it. I mean, just on that level, sounds like he could have gone on to great things, right?

As I prepared to send a list of resources out to my congregation for a Sunday discussion this week on Jonestown, I came across an article from the American Psychological Association that describes how it seems like Jones used George Orwell's 1984 as a guidebook to mind-control! The book was saying that experts should be careful how they research and share findings, because people can take them and use them for harm. I.e. if a social pyschologists discovers a great way to control a group, what a helpful insight for a cult leader!

The truth is we have always struggled with the dangers when well-intentioned discoveries are used for other purposes. I've heard that many researchers who worked on atomic physics were devestated by the use of their research for creating weapons.

I wonder though, as we learn more about incidents like Jonestown...and as we try to remember them as cautionary tales, if we can do so while not distancing ourselves from the always present possibility that someone, somewhere, is still finding ways to draw people into communities that will destroy them later. And I wonder what all of this has to say to us in the church...both as we seek to keep our communities of faith healthy, and also as we seek to invite others into community who perhaps rightfully so, given the example of history, wonder about our motives. It's a call both to forming authentic communities and also, I think, a reminder that we all need to hold each other accountable as we lead. Because even when the body count isn't there, I suspect there are more than a few "charismatic leaders" in a variety of settings who have nonetheless been able to lead people from good intentions into a place that endangers them.

What do you think that might look like today?

Warmth

It is a wet, cold day outside. This fact in itself has helped me focus to get done some e-mails, computer work and reading I needed to tackle. Though really beyond that, today is the sort of day we all just want to curl up under a blanket!

I decided though, after being pent-up this morning and with nothing falling from the sky for the moment, to take a walk. It was chilly, and if I'd have stopped, it would have been uncomfortable. But as anyone knows, a walk on a cold day can be a nice, refreshing thing as long as you keep moving. And of course, it was a blessing (that not everyone has) to be able to end the walk by coming through the door to my house and entering warmth.

Lately, I've been struggling to figure out and hear God's call in my life now. That's the thing they don't always tell you in seminary...sure, God calls you to ministry, but it's not like God's done. God is constantly reshaping and refining that call. After 3 1/2 years in ministry, I have been trying to listen for what's next.

Chris and I were blessed to be able to attend a New Church Start conference last week. And it blew my mind. It was a good opportunity to reflect upon who I am, and what really excites me about ministry. It was also a chance to reflect on what I'm not good at. And what drains me in ministry. I came out of it energized to find new ways to open the community of Christ to people. But I have struggled to know how that pairs with an existing congregation.

The best thing I've done since then has been to not keep this tension to myself. I've talked with colleagues, family, and I've even begin talking with some people at my church. We've underscored the challenge of expecting a pastor (well, maybe it's just me, but I'm not superwoman) to both maintain close relationships within an existing congregation and also develop new ministries for people who might not really connect with that same group. There is still a lot to work out. But as I have shared my struggle and heard the excitement of others for new opportunities in ministry, it is as if this too is a walk through a chilly place. And if we can keep walking, keep trying along the way to stay faithful on the journey, then maybe, by the grace of God, we'll find some warmth.

That's just a bit of what's rolling around in my head...most of it is still really jumbled. But it's basically this...what sort of community---religious and otherwise---would I and others really be excited to be part of? How could we truly use our gifts to help others, to GO OUT, and not just hang out within the walls of the church (literally and figuratively). And I'm not just talking one thing here, one thing there. I'm talking about a very different approach...a re-orientation of everything.

What do you think that would look like?

Now off to try to make more sense of this, to figure out even what questions there are, let alone answers...and maybe enjoy a bit more warmth. It is, after all the season of fireplaces---and I finally have one that works!