Mary

So tomorrow is the fourth Sunday, a day many Protestant preachers dred...or at least bury their heads from. It's the day we're supposed to talk about Mary. (gasp)

I must admit I have done the basic Protestant Mary sermon several times: "Mary's fiat/yes/willingness to to God's will is an example for all of us and we should be thus open to God as well." Yay. Sermon preached. Let's all go enjoy a nice potluck.

The problem is, the immaculate conception (which involves Mary's conception, not Jesus') and such aside, Protestants do share many views about Mary with Roman Catholics. We may not want to talk about it, but that only further confuses things. What's more, some people have some really crazy ideas that we never address because we don't want to talk about it. And some people have some really good questions we never discuss because we're perfectly happy to put in our few words about Mary on this day and then move on...and talk about Biblical literalism or homosexuality...something, anything else.

When I was in seminary, for my intro to theology class, I wrote a paper on the immaculate conception. What can I say, I bore easily. I think I was just still stunned that the immaculate conception was about Mary, not Jesus, and I was a bit frustrated no one ever told me that before. But, you know, we never talked about it, so I was like most Protestants.

This year, I'm going to walk head on into this Mary thing. Spice things up a bit. I've got a variety of people in my congregation, and they know even a wider variety of folks. Somewhere mixed in all of that are people with really serious and important questions that we so seldom address. What is up with this whole virgin conception thing? Is it different from the phrase "virgin birth" people use? How can the Bible make such a point of saying Jesus is descended from David then make this family tree pass through Joseph who the Gospels say is not Jesus' biological father? What would have had to be necessary for Jesus to be born without sin? What was God really up to anyway?

And all of this tied up in the fact that Christmas isn't really a very significant Christian holiday anyway. Lent and Easter, those are the big ones. Christmas? Well, we all know a little about the complicated traditions of Christmas.

Does Christmas shape our understanding of Easter, or vice-versa?

I haven't even scratched the surface on these questions well. Continue on into whether the infancy stories are a pandering to Greek culture or not, and on and on, and it's honestly pretty incredible we just bury our heads in the sand.

I'm interested to see people's thoughts after tomorrow's sermon...we'll see. Mostly, I'm trying not to be too much of a theology nerd and make some sort of lineal progression...

Religion in the News

Okay, in the span of just a few minutes I've heard the UMC sponsor a segment on CNN and a long story about who people do or don't like that has been invited to pray at Obama's inauguration. Really? I mean, I always wanted the religious discourse to open up a bit (from the iron grip the religious right had on it)...but it was a lot more fun to make fun of people from a distance. Not sure I like being with the group who gets to be picked on now...

Blog Life

So I search Twitter from time to time for terms that interest me...like Frederick, or Methodist, etc. I did just just a few moments ago and stumbled across locustsandhoney.blogspot.com...and I guy named "John the Methodist" in the blogosphere. Apparently he's been around for a while. I seem, however, to have discovered his blog on a bad day.

As evidenced from his posting today: http://locustsandhoney.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-am-no-longer-candidate-for-ordained.html, "John" has been discontinued from candidacy for ministry. Now, a lot of things go through my mind...most of all being how impressed I am he's kept his identity a secret-ish thing. That having been said, I don't know him, don't know his situation, and can only imagine what a bad turn of things this must be.

But I am STUNNED if he truly was discontinued for standing up against his DS as noted. I'm of course overcome with curiosity to know all the details, but I'm mostly terribly disappointed to hear of all this. My father is a district committee chair and serves of our conference BOOM and I know he along with others in our conference take their role very seriously. And I know that things are rarely as simple as we might like to think. Not everyone who enters the process will (or should) end it with ordination. And anytime someone is discontinued, it's rough. In our conference at least, it's also a ling process and doesn't happen suddenly. It's long enough, in fact, that a candidate has time to find a better conference if for some reason they don't mesh well with theirs (I've known few people who actually thought their chance at ordination was improved if they switched conference, but it's out there).

I wonder how the community that has gathered around this blogger will shape up now, and it will be interesting to see how his anonimity does or doesn't persist. He mentions having others in his family who don't want him to give details. I don't get that. I mean, if there's something really sketchy going on, why not? But, it's not my life, and not knowng that conference or the climate there, I can only hope that it's not what he's describing. But it very well may be.

I suppose I really need to get into watching other blogs...goodness knows it's hard enough to keep up on my own that following others seems daunting...but who knows...maybe it will help the juices flow better...

Con Men (and Women)

It's been so crazy to watch the news lately coming out of Illinois and New York. Unfortunately, stories of corrupt politicians, scheming businessmen and greedy lawyers may not sound all that new. But between the likes of Blagoyavich, Madoff and Dreier, it sure does seem a bit like the rule of three has been borne forth (let's hope so, that this is the extent of the craziness for now).

I spoke about these stories in my sermon on Sunday, since they seemed in such marked contrast to the story of John the Baptist that was the morning's Gospel reading. When asked if he was a whole range of important figures, he said "No," and that he was only there to point to someone else...the coming Messiah, whose coat (as Peterson puts it in his translation The Message) he is not worthy to hold.

The sad thing is, we are not, most of us, all that different from these three men. All too often, we are more likely to take credit that is not ours than to really understand not only who are ARE, but who we AREN'T. It feels nice when people think we can fix things, make things right. Until we can't.

And at the same time, we're also guilty of handing over too much power and accilade to others in our own desire to find quick and easy solutions to challenges and problems that we know are very complicated.

An example of this is Madoff. Now many people on Wall Street apparently saw his fund as a high-risk one. They didn't trust his policies. Some so much that they refused even to meet with him, let alone invest with him. Now, sometimes people can bear a high risk investment. In fact, experts encourage younger workers to be willing to take a bit of risk with their retirement (if they have the stomach for it) because they have the time to recoup losses on risks if that happens. BUT...what I find most troubling about those who invested with Madoff is not the risk itself (though I'd be concerned about investing with him if major companies wouldn't even meet with him)...but rather that so many people invested EVERYTHING with him. Now, it's much more complicated than that, I know. But I think it's just one more sign of what we've always known about ourselves...we want to be WINNERS and we're prone to run full steam towards the winning team, sometimes without thinking clearly.

During this Advent season, it is a time to be reminded of the importance of waiting. Thinking. Praying. Discerning. Seems as though some people were quite anxious in John's day for the coming of the Messiah. They were looking. Waiting. Even impatient. I wonder how it would have been different if John hadn't had a firm grasp on his role---what he WAS and WASN'T supposed to be and be doing.

And I wonder how our world would be different if we all took a moment to make the same assessment of ourselves, those around us, and our leaders. What have you claimed the power or authority to do or be that you really aren't (fix someone's life, be the calm in someone's storm), or what have you given over to someone that really isn't theirs (being your life, the balance in yours, fixing your problems, etc.).

Edwin Friedman wrote about familiy systems theory before his untimely death. And one of his major points was how the very worst thing we can often do is try to get involved in someone else's issues when they need to be the one dealing with it, or when we try to make someone else responsbile for that which is properly ours.

In a season where families, relationships and communities are strained (and all the more so in our nation in its current financial crisis) perhaps a good dose of some honest self-reflection, humility, and pointing to the only One who is able to be our calm and center isn't a bad idea.

Being Conflicted

This is the time of year when pastors gear up for the marathon that is the Christmas season (last year it was even long since Christmas ran right into Lent and Easter with almost no break) and also have to evaluate themselves and think about what they will be doing in the future--well, United Methodist pastors at least.

It's pretty standard for people to get evaluated in their jobs, and even to do self-evals. It's still kind of new here, and everyone does these differently. The thing is, the evaluation is always dependent upon a person or church's ability to be self-reflective, and also how high their goals are. So while it's a time to look at how you're doing, it's also a time to look at how well you think you can do. Evaluations are as much a reflection, I think, of reality as they are of possibility.

For the past few years, the first ones we had evals, our conference's forms have had numbers attached...like 5 we you're exceeding expectations or something. This year the numbers are off. That's a good thing. It feels a bit better to check that you "Need Improvement" than that you're a 1. It's a mental thing I know, but it matters. And hopefully that little change will allow us all to be a bit more self-critical.

In the United Methodist system, we have this fundamental assumption, it seems to me, that all pastors and congregations are more or less interchangeable. I think that's changing, but it's still there. Any pastor should be able to serve and be successful at any church. Not allowing for the fact that there are just some patently unhealthy churches and pastors out there, I think a lot of time we really struggle to appreciate that many times, matches aren't all that good. Often that's not clear right at first. Other times, as pastors and congregations change, they can, in the words use for marriages, "grow apart." Often what are called "irreconcilable differences" in marriages are simply stories of "it seemed like a good idea at the time," and two people not really knowing each other all that well. And perhaps one or both of the persons not knowing themselves all that well at first.

It was a pretty incredible idea for me to hear at the new church start conference about "Affinities". Basically the idea is maximine the effectiveness of new church starts by planting pastors amongst people they are similar to. Getting over the idea that it's easy enough to take a passionate person and see them succeed in any soil, and plant them in the right soil.

I cannot imagine the frustration of cabinets trying to play this difficult, and I imagine, heart-rending match game. And I am sure that for all the good matches, there are just pastors and appointments that are paired as best as they can with what's out there. And things change. But I wonder what it would look like if we were all just really upfront about who we are, and thus who we connect best with. What if, when what seems like an ideal match isn't possible, that's acknowledged from the start and it's clear to everyone where the differences are?

I haven't had a chance to talk with many of my colleagues about their experiences with the evaluation and advisory forms this year...or even with experienced pastors about how they approach these. But I am interested to do that. To hear how these forms have been shaping on their ministries, and what if any effect this opportunity to pause and reflect has had in their lives and ministry.

Jonestown

This past week, my husband Chris and I sat down to watch the CNN special on Jonestown that we'd recorded on DVR. I thought I knew a good amount, of course I have heard the "drinking the koolaid" saying. I even, knowing I'd be watching it and not being a patient person...at all...Googled the story to learn a bit more.

If you don't know much about Jonestown, you should learn about it. One of the ironies that they closed the CNN special was a sign at the site of the mass gathering where all of those 900+ people committed sucide or were killed, that said basically, "Those who don't know the past are doomed to repeat it."

The rise of cults is increasingly understood by experts in the light of the social and pyschological elements they touch upon. And we are increasingly learning about how a person's religious journey then ties into it all. So now that we know so much, you'd think we'd know enough to stop it from happening. The challenge is, so often these things begin "innocently enough." I mean, Jim Jones (who from many angles now looks like a crazy guy) started off as a local preacher in the Methodist Church who got kicked out of his little church in Indiana for trying to integrate it. I mean, just on that level, sounds like he could have gone on to great things, right?

As I prepared to send a list of resources out to my congregation for a Sunday discussion this week on Jonestown, I came across an article from the American Psychological Association that describes how it seems like Jones used George Orwell's 1984 as a guidebook to mind-control! The book was saying that experts should be careful how they research and share findings, because people can take them and use them for harm. I.e. if a social pyschologists discovers a great way to control a group, what a helpful insight for a cult leader!

The truth is we have always struggled with the dangers when well-intentioned discoveries are used for other purposes. I've heard that many researchers who worked on atomic physics were devestated by the use of their research for creating weapons.

I wonder though, as we learn more about incidents like Jonestown...and as we try to remember them as cautionary tales, if we can do so while not distancing ourselves from the always present possibility that someone, somewhere, is still finding ways to draw people into communities that will destroy them later. And I wonder what all of this has to say to us in the church...both as we seek to keep our communities of faith healthy, and also as we seek to invite others into community who perhaps rightfully so, given the example of history, wonder about our motives. It's a call both to forming authentic communities and also, I think, a reminder that we all need to hold each other accountable as we lead. Because even when the body count isn't there, I suspect there are more than a few "charismatic leaders" in a variety of settings who have nonetheless been able to lead people from good intentions into a place that endangers them.

What do you think that might look like today?

Warmth

It is a wet, cold day outside. This fact in itself has helped me focus to get done some e-mails, computer work and reading I needed to tackle. Though really beyond that, today is the sort of day we all just want to curl up under a blanket!

I decided though, after being pent-up this morning and with nothing falling from the sky for the moment, to take a walk. It was chilly, and if I'd have stopped, it would have been uncomfortable. But as anyone knows, a walk on a cold day can be a nice, refreshing thing as long as you keep moving. And of course, it was a blessing (that not everyone has) to be able to end the walk by coming through the door to my house and entering warmth.

Lately, I've been struggling to figure out and hear God's call in my life now. That's the thing they don't always tell you in seminary...sure, God calls you to ministry, but it's not like God's done. God is constantly reshaping and refining that call. After 3 1/2 years in ministry, I have been trying to listen for what's next.

Chris and I were blessed to be able to attend a New Church Start conference last week. And it blew my mind. It was a good opportunity to reflect upon who I am, and what really excites me about ministry. It was also a chance to reflect on what I'm not good at. And what drains me in ministry. I came out of it energized to find new ways to open the community of Christ to people. But I have struggled to know how that pairs with an existing congregation.

The best thing I've done since then has been to not keep this tension to myself. I've talked with colleagues, family, and I've even begin talking with some people at my church. We've underscored the challenge of expecting a pastor (well, maybe it's just me, but I'm not superwoman) to both maintain close relationships within an existing congregation and also develop new ministries for people who might not really connect with that same group. There is still a lot to work out. But as I have shared my struggle and heard the excitement of others for new opportunities in ministry, it is as if this too is a walk through a chilly place. And if we can keep walking, keep trying along the way to stay faithful on the journey, then maybe, by the grace of God, we'll find some warmth.

That's just a bit of what's rolling around in my head...most of it is still really jumbled. But it's basically this...what sort of community---religious and otherwise---would I and others really be excited to be part of? How could we truly use our gifts to help others, to GO OUT, and not just hang out within the walls of the church (literally and figuratively). And I'm not just talking one thing here, one thing there. I'm talking about a very different approach...a re-orientation of everything.

What do you think that would look like?

Now off to try to make more sense of this, to figure out even what questions there are, let alone answers...and maybe enjoy a bit more warmth. It is, after all the season of fireplaces---and I finally have one that works!

Transitions

As I write, the window is blowing outside my window, and the autumn leaves that were already just on the point of falling, are being blown off trees at an alarming rate! The good news is the weather front that has brought this wind has also brought rain--much needed after a very dry season.

All of this has made me think about how any time of transition is a similar experience--the coming of needed things tied up with the harshness of transitions. Rain, for example, only happens when two fronts (and very different ones at that) slam into each other. The occurrance of rain, as renewing and refreshing as it is, is a pretty violent thing weather-wise.

We still need a lot more rain. And I know that as fall continues and winter comes, the wind will keep up, and rain will turn to snow. And ice even (let's hope not too much). Chris and I are already preparing for the chances of being stranded, or without electricity. We're getting our wood stove and chimney checked out, stocking up on gallons of water (the fun of being on a well!) and keeping dry goods on hand. There's a good chance we won't need much if any of it, but if we do, we'll hopefully be relatively prepared.

Times of transition almost always necessitate preparation of some form. I think we've forgetten that though. I mean, we live lives with so many conveniences that we are used to being able to get anything any time. Many people have no idea what fruits or veggies are "in season" and stocking up for anything seems foreign to us. After all, if we need more, we can just run to the store, right?

I think about early settlers living on "the western frontier"--yes, Missouri was once such an exciting, far-flung place--and all the ways they would be doing things differently right now. For them, preparing for the winter would have been a matter of life or death. The beautiful colors of autumn leaves and the crisp fall temperatures would serve as a warning and an encouragement to get serious about stock piling food, preparing the homestead, and preparing for a long cold winter. The transition would have been very distinct.

So I wonder whether we've lost the sense of the importance--and challenge--of transitions. Transitions are rough and scary things, and are the times we have to be working the hardest. This is as true of preparing for seasons of weather as it is preparing for the different seasons of our lives.

Sunday's Faith Topic

In case you stopped by this blog to find out what Sunday's Faith Topic is, for the Sunday School class, please stop by later today. My husband Chris will be leading the discussion since I'll have to head to the Doubs/Epworth UMC Homecoming right after worship, and he's still thinking about topic ideas. Any suggestions?

Immigration

I am sitting here reading this morning's paper and didn't make it through page one before I got upset! As a member of our conference's Hispanic/Latino Advisory Board in this area, I was glad to see Millie Rivera made the paper. But I was angered to hear about proposal to count illegal immigrants in schools.

Now I understand we all have a different view of this issue, and there are a lot of reasons for that. I know that since illegal immigrants don't pay taxes (they can't, they're "off the books") it means local school systems have an added expense. I hear that the language thing upsets some people. I know there are many other reasons why good, smart people are very concerned about what they would describe as an illegal immigration problem.

But here is what I just don't get. We are all of us (except Native Americans, and we have still found ways to persecute them over the years) immigrants. And you know what, many of our ancestors were unwelcome, and were mocked and hated by others. My own family is nearly entirely German on one side. I know that Germans were vastly criticized for continuing to speak German instead of English when they came here. And the language thing was pretty major--as it is now.

There is a (probably apocryphal) story out of the Methodist tradition that goes something like this: Early in our nation's history, as Methodist blossomed and Otterbein's United Brethren did as well, it was pretty apparent to leaders of both churches the close connections between them. Otterbein had helped ordain Asbury, and Otterbein had adopted the Methodist Book of Disciple by merely translating it into German. As the story goes, two leaders, one from each of these churches, were talking one day. The Methodist asked why the United Brethren wouldn't just join them. The UB said, "Will you let us have German-speaking churches and conferences?" The Methodist replied no, saying the English was the language of the land and they could never allow that. Now look, over a hundred years later those two churches did join, and though there were other reasons for the separation before, it really is pretty much language that was the major difference. The irony is, within a generation or two, without making it an issue, the Germans adopted English. It was just easier for them.

Others in this area, if not of German descent (and really, those of us of German descent ought be be better students of our own history as regards to the divisions that have plagued our own people for hundreds and hundreds of years and how ridiculous it all looks now), there are also those of Irish, Scottish, even those of poor English descent.

What angers me most is the general lack of hospitality that has begun to characterize us. What I find unbearable is when I sit in Advisory Board meetings and I hear about people scared to leave their homes for fear of getting arrested. And what I think we should all find a bit unsettling is the way that our concern about illegal immigrants has turned us and our local government into people it's hard to be proud of---people who see the skin color of a person and ask ourselves first the question of whether they ought to be here or not. This is a prime example of racial profiling. I am told that people of hispanic-looking descent are routinely pulled over or questioned for minor offenses (offenses that I suspect many of us of European descent would rarely if ever be pulled over for, and I really doubt they'd ask us for our status, especially if we aren't the driver of the car).

There is nothing about this racial profiling that feels very Christian to me. That old, "What Would Jesus Do?" cliche ought to give us some pause here.

Now I am not a policy maker, and I know there are many issues tied into this that I am not expert on. But the general tone of it all is troubling to me.

I saw a video of Brian McLauren recently--he's a major church leader of the Emergent Church movement. Brian was talking about how we often like to think that God has blessed this nation, especially those who are reasonably comfortable, etc. But he points out that if you read the Gospels (I mean, you don't even have to read all that closely, it's pretty blatant), it becomes apparent that God doesn't have favorites, but if God did, it would be those who are persecuted, without, hunted, hiding, in prison, hungry, and suffering. I'm pretty sure that puts a lot of us on the wrong side. That doesn't mean God doesn't love us...but I think it calls us to be part of the ministry to those for whom God sorrows and those who are in such need of God's love and hope.

The Godfather

Okay, so I had to write just a bit about my first experience watching "The Godfather." I know. Guys can't imagine I've lived so long and not watched it. But it just wasn't part of the teenaged girl's general experience!

So, since tomorrow is Chris' birthday but we'll be running around with conference meetings, I decided to make his birthday cake tonight...good news is it actually hasn't collapsed yet!

Apparently Chris has been wanting to watch "The Godfather" for a while, so that was tonight's excitement. Honestly, I've heard so many references to the film, that watching it, they all finally make sense. Like in context, the horse head thing fits at least. And "Leave the gun, take the cannolis," does as well.

I wonder what films out today--if any--will carry the same cultural influence of films like "The Godfather." I mean, hey, I hadn't watched the film but at least every few minutes I'd hear a line or see a scene that that had been talked about in some other movie, like "When Harry Met Sally," or "You've Got Mail." Of course, those are more my sort of movies...!

So I'm curious now...what are other film influences? And what will be the film influences of our generation?

What I Miss this Election Season

So our news is filled with all things political these days (well, when they're not talking the economy...or what celebrity is getting divorced now). For me, politics has always been in my blood. Even when I was a child, talking politics was part of our family's discussions, and it has continued to be so. As a teenager, I worked the polls at our local polling place along with my mother, who one year was the polling place coordinator for several sites...so I got one. I passed out flyers and for several primary and general elections, I had the joy or learning at the feet of more experienced associates---men who had been working in local and state campaigns for longer than my mother had been alive, it seemed! All of this was when I was planning to go into politics. It was exciting, and to be honest, it all still is. Through the Baltimore City student government, and as a student member on the school board, I got to see up close and personal the political world, which both excited and concerned me.

Then I heard a call to ministry. And I was reminded of our family's firm adherence to neutrality in public, especially for my father. You see, despite my mother's political involvement and my own father's passion on politicla issues, we never put a sign in our yard, on our car, or otherwise paraded our politics. My father preached on issues but never candidates. And let me tell you, when you are passionate about politics, it really is something to have to be that thoughtful. I mean, so many people parade around their politics, and if they remain "neutral" it's usually an effort at politeness. For a pastor, there are myriad reasons to be publically neutral...all of them very good ones that some pastors would perhaps be better served to take seriously.

So here I am...desperately wanting to wear t-shirts and have bumper stickers like my siblings, and well, a lot of other people. But this is also a reminder to me of the fleeting nature of even these elections. Because whoever wins, I will still be the pastor of people who are all going to vote a variety of ways. Goodness knows just talking about issues can ruffle feathers (I ventured to address the gambling/slots issue this past Sunday, and certainly some weren't thrilled). The other thing is, none of us really know what the future holds, and we all struggle--or at least should--to know whether the same qualities or beliefs that attract us to a candidate are actually indicative of their future leadership. Elections are in some ways an exercise in faith. Or hope at least. Hope that if we all try to be grown-ups about this and learn the issues (and not just the personalities) of the candidates, we will make a good choice. And of course, we all hope everyone else makes as wise of a choice (i.e. same) as us!

And when all of this is over, we still have to live together...so I hope we can all take a deep breath as we head into this campaign season...and maybe think a bit about how our behavior is seen by others during this whole process.

Election Fatigue

One of my favorite parts of the presidential debates is being logged in on Facebook and watching people's statuses throughout! You get to see who wanted to throw something, who marks one moment as a key moment, and who is just worn out by it all. Last night was no different. But one thing I saw last night for the first time was someone posting that they weren't watching the debate and really couldn't care less.

Indeed, aren't we all getting a bit worn out by it all? The campaign tied with the economic crisis seems to throws such highs, lows, and repetativeness at us that it's like we don't even know how to respond to anything anymore. And it's infecting all of us!

I'm actually interested to talk to the teachers I know--this week were parent-teacher conferences, and I'm interested to find out if teachers are seeing the same increase in stress and anxiety (which comes out as anger, illogical-ness and general grumpiness) in parents as other leaders like pastors are seeing with the people they work with. It was little suprise to most pastors when the American Psychological Association announced that stress level in our country have reach record heights, along with high levels of bad ways to cope with stress. What is perhaps most dangerous is the insiduous way stress wratchets up the tension all around us, so that we enter even neutral situations predisposed to stress, and are even less able to deal effectively and maturely with other difficult situations in our lives. Our nation truly does need to step back and take a deep breath!

A couple weeks ago, our DISCIPLE class at church read through the creation accounts, and as always, it was interesting to hear different takes on passages I've read before. One class member talked about reading the repetative "God said...and it was good" in the context of being a parent, and knowing how important routine and order is to children.--and how they need to be reassured. She pointed out that God's words here seem to offer that same comfort, "It's good. I've got it under control, and I know what I'm doing. It will be okay. It's good." I think that's a message we all need to hear right now.

The Economy

So this Sunday's Faith Topic is our economy...what it means for us as Christians and what we might be called to do.

I wanted to post some videos, but man, looking around YouTube, there is a ton of junk. It's tough to wade through. So I'll keep looking, but I wanted to give some other links for you to look over in case you're interested and/or wanting to prepare for our discussion Sunday (we will meet in the sanctuary immediately after worship).

The United Methodist Church's General Board of Church and Society: check out their link to a statement on the current economic crisis, but also, bookmark this site a good resource for future discussions, and just generally checking out what social issues our denomination is looking at at any given time (http://www.umc-gbcs.org)

Rev. Adam Hamilton speaks about the importance of simplicity to Christians (VIDEO): http://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/blog/2008/10/adam-hamilton-revisiting-the-n.html

Jim Wallis, editor of Sojourners magazine, on how fear is affecting so many, and how we can start talking about this together: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jim-wallis/a-pastoral-strategy-for-a_b_133370.html

Other Articles (I've posted a range, to get us all thinking...so even if you disagree with an article, check it out so you have an idea of some different perspectives):
http://www.christianity.com/Home/Christian%20Living%20Features/11582124/
http://www.gordonmoyes.com/2008/10/03/the-international-financial-crisis/
http://www.charismamag.com/cms/news/archives/100108.php

And let me know if you have any other interesting links to share...!

The Economy: Ridiculous Panic (ala the Daily Show)

Check out this caricature (which is perhaps not all too off base for some people) of how some are reacting to the current markets.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F9CqNADGjQ

Planning

There is something quite theraputic in being able to plan. Now, on one level, that's kind of crazy to say...because planning can feel daunting and overwhelming. But on the other hand, we all need a direction, a point to head towards. Proverbs is right when it says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." I think this is as true for groups as it is individuals.

I certainly know the feeling when the pressing concerns of the immediate seem to bog down. The days, weeks, even months, when I have not engaged in much long term planning has dragged down everything else I try to do. That is one of the truths (and perhaps paradoxes) of leadership: to lead powerfully and with wisdom and excitement now, we have to always be thinking very intentionally about the future.

Here of late I've been facing the same challenge. Between charge conference, meetings, finances, short-term worship planning, visitation, sermon prep, getting things together for newsletters and bulletins, and all the other things that come to me throughout each day via phone, e-mails, etc., what has most energized me has been the far-out planning: thinking more intentionally about the format a multi-site congregation may take, attending the new church start conference in VA in November, being asked again to help with annual conference worship, etc., and just generally taking a few moments to look beyond the immediate (though those immediate things do need resolution and attention) helps keep me motivated. I suspect, then, that it truly is a very good question to ask a pastor (or any other leader) who is feeling burned-out and worn down, "What is your vision for the future?" on any number of levels. The ability to answer the question may help energize, and the inability to answer would be reflective of a deeper frustration that needs to be more fully addressed.

What is your vision for the future? This is the question that is also very timly in an election season. Indeed, it is a question we would all do well to ask ourselves daily, and certainly each time we make a major decision. What is your vision, and how does this or that action help (or hurt) your ability to see that vision come to fruition?

Another Monday

So Mondays are my day off, and Chris and I have been doing pretty good keeping those as full days off. Today, though, we both have had some things to do. For Chris, it was dealing with some facilities issues that needed to be looked at today. For me it has been working on some charge conference stuff and trying to finalize a newsletter insert---I'm torn between wanting to get the newsletter out, but also wanting to include some information like the nominations slate, that people will want to see.

I've really been struggling lately, as I hear most pastors have been in a very anxious time, and what's more, in my area, an era of great change in the community, to think through (on my own and with others) the path forward. One of the biggest factors of course is not so much the issues as how people deal with them. There are always those who will come with constructive criticism and even support at times (imagine that!) while there are others who seem to find behind the back ways to try to control things. This is what always wears leaders out. And it's always ironic that the very people who act that way are often the ones who, if successful, can most effectively destroy any organization. It's not their purpose but their manner. And while it is comforting to hear from other pastors and leaders that this is all to be expected, it's pretty ridiculous.

We see this in our nation--partly a lot of us are gossiping about what's happening because we can't actually go right to the president and ask questions or offer suggestions. And look what a panic we can cause! The truth is we don't actually know what the future holds. And the wisest financial minds among us are careful not to overstate their certainty of anything. What we all seem to agree on is we'll work through it. But that can end up meaning a lot of things. It mostly means, however, all just digging in and pushing forward together. Sometimes we face (in our lives, our families, our churches, our nation, and our world) situations that just have to be worked through--messy though it may be. At our best we can do this by evidencing all our best qualities of patience, commitment, teamwork and sacrifice. At our worst, we are marred by self-interest, panic, apathy, blame and passive-aggressiveness. I am convinced, however, that some crises can actually cause a group to change the way they deal with each other. A crisis that does, in the end, bring people together, can be an incredible (even though painful) thing.

So we'll see. We are hearing from all over that our nation's anxiety level is skyrocketing, and we seeit affecting all sorts of things. Perhaps once this election is over, even if we are still walking through a difficult financial time, we will really be able to take a few moments to just calm down, take a deep breath, and walk through this together...as our very best selves.

Don't Panic

So that seems to be this and last week's theme, perhaps a theme for life: DON'T PANIC. We hear it all over the news now as the markets wobble on news of closings, bankruptcies and buy-outs. It is the answer to every level of the crisis..."If people/corporations/creditors/etc. can just stay calm..."

I've experienced it time and again, even recently, as a pastor and as a person. Panic and anxiety are perhaps the greatest destructive force we know. It's why FDR's line speaks to us throughout time, "So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself -- nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." (From his First Inaugural Address)

And the truth is, we see this all the time. As I look back over the missteps in my life or ministry, I can almost universally say they were the result of panic. Of reacting to my own or others' fears without stepping back to take a deep breath. The irony always is that it's usually those whose own panic wratcheted up the system's anxiety that are the first and loudest to attack the system's response to it!

The key is finding ways to maintain relative calm in the face of challenges. That doesn't mean avoidance (we often call behavior like this passive-aggressive) but rather being able to be present but non-anxious.

These ideas have been skillfully drawn out by Rabbi Edwin Friedman in his writings, including Generation to Generation and A Failure of Nerve. Another favorite is Friedman's Fables--which I'm really hoping to lead a study of at church sometime soon.

Rabbi Friedman talks about how we live in a chronically-anxious society, and how this shapes us and all our interactions. He talks about this in the framework of family-systems theory, as he applies that lens not only to families but also to churches, businesses, governments, etc.

I could go on and on, but what has struck me here of late is how true this all is and has always been. It's a bit counter-intuitive. I mean, there's this natural tendency to tell ourselves there is a problem and we must fix it, and to feel an immediate time pressure to do so. But sometimes---perhaps far more often than we would like to admit---our rush to "fix" a problem simply exacerbates it.

May we all learn to take a step back a bit more often and think a bit before we rush to face a problem...both in our own lives, our churches, our nation, and our world!

Sarah

Changing Names (and other transitions)

So we returned from our honeymoon yesterday, and I've hit the ground running. As soon as Chris and I got back we headed to the Eagle Scout court of honor for one of the church youth, and after we got back and finally unpacked the car, I dived into e-mails. I get a bit ansy coming back to just get going. There's always an insane amount to catch up on, and that was certainly true since in addition to missing the three Sundays and two weeks I'd planned on, my sister's gall bladder surgery the week before it all really just threw me off kilter.

But I've been e-mailing, phone calling and such pretty furiously since early this morning, and though I'm still far from being caught up, I feel a bit like my feet might somehow get back under me some time this week...

I've also started looking into getting my name officially changed, and I'm anxious to just get that over with as well. So I may try to run to Hagerstown this afternoon to start working it out...boy it just takes a bit of focus!

It's strange (and I am told the strangeness will continue for a while at least) to get used to a new last name. At the court of honor, I was introduced 3 times in the course of the program, and each time it was a bit startling to remember that the Rev. Schlieckert they called was me! So yeah, it will be a strange adjustment.

I'm also, though trying to take advantage of this huge transition to look at other changes, like getting back into a good routine (I don't think I ever really hit my stride since returning from last year's mission trip), and really evaluating my priorities and how and who I am, naturally at least, as a pastor, and who I want to be. It's really easy to just get into a reactive mode, reacting to criticism or praise by avoiding or doing something someone wants, without really thinking through what's really happening. So I want to be more intentional about all that.

On top of all this, fall marks the return of conference meetings, etc., that always make my schedule a bit more hectic (and which always seem to be different days!). So hopefully this week I can get a handle on what's ahead this fall, and try to be proactive in setting up a schedule for the coming months...

...yeah, so I'm off to work on that...

:-) Sarah

Schedules

So some people work well with a constantly changing schedule...not me. Now I like variety, and goodness knows I enjoy the thrill of the crunch--gearing up for a big event, tackling a huge task. But so much of the day to day work of being a pastor...or just life in general...seems to me to take a backseat when my schedule is in flux. So I'm excited that with Annual Conference over, my sister's graduation now behind us, and the summer ahead, I'm hoping I can get to something like an actual routine. Imagine that!

When I was in seminary I had to develop a "weekly schedule" as an assignment for a leadership class. I had a great one. Blocked time for visitation, sermon prep, devotion, meetings, etc. It was pretty impressive, and allowed for down time as well. It was awesome. But I've never been able to keep to it. There's always another meeting, a visitation that doesn't fit into a scheduled block, planning ahead for worship, or a phone call that eats my sermon prep time.

I know sme pastors do well as keeping a schedule. But I'm increasingly discovering that for many of those folks it took years in ministry to develop a schedule that actually worked for them. And they often have a secretary sitting outside their office to keep people from stopping in or calling all all times!

So we'll see if this week I can get back into a good routine. I know that when I do I'm able to get more done, and feel better about what has been done...and it also helps me keep good focus upon my own Christian disciplines...and you know, just generally not lose my mind!

Annual Conference and Other Epic Journeys

So the past couple of weeks have been like no other. It all started with a car accident...mine. On may way home Wednesday night two weeks ago, the combination of an ambulance behind me and deer suddenly appearing in front of me ended with my car pointing the wrong way on teh highway and the driver's side flush against the guard rail. The whole story is more detailed, but after two weeks of telling the story, I've gotten better at summarizing in.

In the following week, between the details involved in having totaled a car (and buying a new one), my mother being hospitalized for a kidney stone (she's doing well), church tasks (like a day at a hospital in DC and the general sermon-writing, planning and pastoral stuff), visit from my future in-laws (a nice respite in the midst of it all) and Annual Conference (where I was, by the way, ordained)...it was just, well, packed.

Annual Conference this year was a different experience for me since I was on the worship committee. I must say that despite the huge amount of work it all took, there was something nice about being able to watch all the happenings of AC from our worship room, on closed-circuit TV. Every once in a while, an important vote would happen, and out of our little side room would come rushing a few of us, hurrying to get in a seat to vote.

The issues that seemed the most interesting this year involved the selection of our conference's candidate for the episcopacy (we chose Peggy Johnson, who happens to be the wife of a past pastor at Jefferson) and a spat between the bishop and the Board of Ordained ministry that cause a stir over the nominations report. The long and short of that one is that sometimes trying to replace a bunch of longtime members of a committee (especially when they've asked to stay on) even at best looks a little suspicious. Some late night negotiations were held Friday night and Saturday a revised proposal was submitted to the AC (adding a few more long-time BOOM members to the new group). But for those who heard a bit of what happened behind the scenes, it's a bit disappointing. Dynamics even in church leadership are not always as mature and loving as we might like.

But, after some late nights at AC setting up for worship services, and after three years of seminary, three years of porbationary period as a commissioned minister in the UMC, I was finally ordained this past Saturday! And what a treat to have been able to have both my father and grandfather stand with me as my clergy sponsors! Just awesome!

And of course things continue with no break...this week I've got to finally nail down some details about summer programming, updates to our summer worship, and finally getting our website back on line. I had this grand idea of finding a better website program than I had, but I don't know I can at this point...so...I'll have to suck it up and just use what works for now!

Off for the night...and up again for an early morning and busy week! Well, what's left of it!

Sarah

The Proper Use of "Awesome"

So in the midst of the rush of the spring to summer transition, I've been trying to get back to a good routine with visitation...the Christmas to Easter rush seems to have hit all clergy in some way, and for me, it was getting behind visiting with folks. But catching up has been a treat. Here of late I've been to see several people, including Ginny Stamper and Ellen Lowery.

Yesterday, while visiting with Ellen, we got to talking about travel, and then onto airplanes. We both shared the thought that planes just do not seem like they should be able to fly. I mean, have you ever really thought of it? If you happened upon a plane, not knowing anything about planes, would you think something like that could stay in the air? In the course of that conversation, Ellen remarked that air planes truly are awesome. She said people use that word in many different ways, but in the most basic sense, planes are awesome. And I must say, after all the time I've spent with youth and kids, and my own use of that word, it just tickled me to hear it so appropriately used!

Annual Conference is next week, so I'm busy this week trying to get things set for all my non-AC responsibilities. Since I'm on the worship committee, the entire week I will be occupied with related stuff, it seems, especially since my fiance Chris' parents will be in town the first part of the week (yea!).

But I'm excited the sun is out today, especially since I'm out and about today with office hours, a funeral, a late lunch meeting, and you know, everything else! But a cup of coffee and a sunny morning are a great way to start the day!! Awesome!

:-) Sarah

When Trees Fall

So the weather in the Frederick/Washington County area (well, and all the way in Baltimore) just plain stinks this evening! It's cold, rainy and windy. My fiance Chris and were driving back to his house from Baltimore---where we'd had a Mother's Day dinner with my mom---and ran into (well nearly) a tree that completely blocked the windy mountain road to camp and his house! Chris was about to jump out and move it when he noticed it was resting on power/phone lines, so we headed for the long way to camp and called 911 to report it. So we're back at his house, just waiting for the phone or power to cut off (Chris is on the land line with his mom, so both losses would be annoying!). But it's just an interesting, subtle paranoia.

Church was great this morning--packed house at 9 am thanks in large part to the confirmation of 3 of our youth. This was my first group of confirmands at Jefferson, since a huge proportion of the youth (10) went through confirmation with the interim pastor a few months before I arrived. Jake, Josh and Connar are all cool kids, all different, and it was definitely a learning experience to lead confirmation. Chris had suggested we lead together, as opposed to using the mentor-based program by Willimon, and we ended up using Belton Joyner's Unofficial Handbook for United Methodists...which was a great pick, and had a great mix of humor and good info. And since he'd been one of my professors at Duke, it was an added treat.

We're approaching yet another morph to our Sunday worship schedule. Our contemporary worship service has taken many shapes and leadership during my time here, and low numbers have plagued us. And when my charge associate pastor, Michael, told me the current band would be stopping at the end of May, I wasn't sure what to do, and figured we'd have to finally cancel it. But Ad Council had the idea of making both services similar to each other, with a more "traditional" structure, and maybe bringing some more contemporary elements into the 9 a.m. So I'm actually really excited about it, and anxious to move beyond the "traditional" and "contemporary" distinctions. I'm looking forward to including even more creative elements in worship.

I tried my hand at an altar call of sorts in the 9 a.m. worship service this morning. Didn't go over well, but partly due to it not being really a part of this congregation's culture at the moment, my own inexperience in intro-ing something like that, and a difficult closing hymn that was the time people were to come forward. FYI everyone, Georgia Harkness' hymn Hope of the World may look good on paper but it's a beast for a congregation to sing for the first time! Poor Jefferson struggles under my sorry attempts to work through the current hymnal, since I've heard a new one may be coming. Of course it's years away, but there are a lot of strange and different (and unknown to my congregation) hymns to work through.

Meanwhile, I've been busying visiting shut-ins, and still needed to stop by and visit with more. A funeral Tuesday and various other little meetings, and Annual Conference is nearly upon us. So now being on the AC worship committee is really going to catch up with me! Next Monday, meeting Jenny Smith, pastor of Mt. Carmel UMC, we'll head to the conference center to pack all the stuff for worship...including (hopefully) a large waterfall that Trinity UMC in Frederick is loaning us. The whole water fountain thing was a big deal that I'm glad is settled, and the long and short of it is that some decisions just take longer than needed when decided by committee!

Well, the wind is howling, and electricity is still working, so I'll post now before I lost connection!

:-) Sarah

Worship and Other Mysteries

So I've been reading up lately on worship. Not just the same old, not the newest, flashy stuff. More creative than that...like what happens when we get beyond the worship wars and why perhaps there isn't much that's all that significantly different between traditional and contemporary worship. Lately I've been rereading Ronald Byars' book The Future of Protestant Worship: Beyond the Worship Wars. It was a book I had to read for a seminary class, but it's been a treat to reread it now, with a few years of local church ministry under my belt. I haven't finished it yet (well, for ny post-seminary reading at least) but it's raised lots of interesting points.

For example, "The agenda of worship is to lay aside any agendas of our own, including the need to prove that our faith is useful in the world."

He's also included some thought provoking quotes from others:

Lesslie Newbigin, on the temptation of Jesus: "One could sum up the substance of the suggestions of the Evil One in the phrase...'Begin by attending to the aspirations of the people.'"

Stanley Hauerwas: "Outisde Christ and the church, you don't have the slightest idea what you're looking for. That's why you need us to reshape you and your desires."

Howard Hagerman: "A church that loses the Word must finally lose the Sacrament. But is it not equally true that a church which loses the Sacrament must finally lose the Word?"

What do you think? Out of the context of Byars' writing, these quotes may be more or less thought-provoking than he intends, but taking that into consideration, what do you think? And a very basic question...what do you think worship ought to be? I don't mean what music, exactly, but generally, as a broad definition, what ought we be doing when we gather for worship?

On an unrelated note, another mystery...what makes people feel entitled to walk up to someone with whom they have no particular or direct connection, and tell them how or what they ought to be doing? Unfortunately, I suppose this is often masked under some distortion of the community between Christians...I'm just saying...! I had a recent occasion to run into a retired pastor with whom I have had some familiarity, but no particular personal connection. I happened to have been at Manidokan, where my fiance is director, helping out on a morning (while I was simultaneously filling down time with phone calls and e-mails to church people). The aforementioned pastor had noticed that my church's last newsletter had a good amount of information about Manidokan (which others had also pointed out, and which owed to the fact that it is more difficult than people imagine to get people to submit things for the newsletter). His first comment to me (no hello) was concern that I was short-changing my congregation.

Now I will be the first to admit that I cannot do all I would like to. And many of the things I do for one group of people may not always be apparent to others. And I really do need systems, lists and schedules to help me accomplish things I need to. And at times I cannot keep up. And I cannot work 80 hours weeks (though when I first started I often did, because I literally had nothing else going on in my life). So I can accept people in my church asking me to do anything...and as far as I am able I will. And I know that in balancing the needs of youth, the women's Bible study, etc., there will be people who feel like I have not done other things. I keep trying, and the balance of my time changes constantly. But if I am still putting in 60+ hours for church, and if I keep trying to do better, and at least to address anything I've left undone when it is shared by those with whom I exercise my ministry (and who will always have broader needs and desires than any one person can meet) then I find it astounding, mysterious, saddening and just plain frustrating when another pastor takes it upon themselves to reduce all that I do and all that I do with my free time to help another ministry and my fiance.

I am not perfect. I have done better with some tasks at times than at others. There is not a single thing I am doing right now that I don't think I could do better. But gosh it sure knocks the wind out of a person's sails when their failures and perceived short-comings (some of which may not be entirely accurate) are the sole gauge of them.

This sort of thing is why I feel guilty when I sit down to read something like Byars' book. I need to read. A pastor that is not continuing to grow will become stagnant. But in order to take the time to grow, to learn things that will improve one's quality of ministry and reach new people, other things cannot be done, or at least as often as otherwise. I love reading, but I cannot remember the last time I finished a book. I find that saddening and even frightening. But I do not know how to easily shake off the pressures of what a pastor is expected to do. I suspect it takes time to grow into one's role as a pastor...to learn one's strength's and weaknesses, and while trying to balance both, to be able to be oneself and not be run over or deflated by careless (not constructive) criticism. Criticism is a good and healthy, and needful thing. But boy it would be nice if it came with a bit of grace more often than not.

Off to read...and do everything else I've got on my list...

:-) Sarah

The Pace of Change

As I write this, sitting in the office at church (well, converted Sunday School space used as our office) the sun is shining, and through the window I can see a blooming pink-flowered tree. What it stuck in my mind, though, is how much rain we've had lately...the very same thing that brings life also threatens it.

For example, Sunday, as my fiance Chris and I drove to church from his house for confirmation and youth group, right in front of us, on the 340 bridge over Catoctin Creek, a black Mustang hydroplaned...into the side of the bridge. We stopped, and the 17-year-old guy was okay, but there it was...a split second, and everything stopped...and I was struck by how one thing could've changed it all...for better or worse. If the kid hadn't been wearing a seat belt.... If we'd been closer behind him and not able to avoid his car... If he'd been going a bit slower (though even at that, he wasn't speeding)... We all know it...life can change in the blink of an eye.

At the same time, some things change at the pace of a snail...or worse! This week, delegates from United Methodist churches around the world will gather in Texas for General Conference. GC is held every 4 years (on leap years, in fact) and is where policies and practices for the denomination are set.

All of this is well-suited as well to the beginning of my sermon series this next Sunday on denominations. All sorts of groups, some claiming to be the "true" Christians, some other Christians are sure are not Christian, and the rest of us in the middle...have been in the news. From the Mormon-fringe sect in Texas who of late have once again made the news...this time as the government took over 400 of the children of the polygamous sect into state custody. Pope Benedict visited the US this week for his first trip as Pontiff.

All of this, and it is difficult to understand what separates, unites, and defines Christians. This week will be an intro to the series...talking about why all these things even matter. What do you think? What have been your experiences with different denominations?

for all that life can change in the blink of an eye, even getting some of these denominations to just TALK together can seem an endless process...but recent steps towards Christian unity have been exciting...but change at times can be very...s...l...o...w...

:-) Sarah

Something Going Around

So I'm not sure what it is, or whether it's always this way but we're only aware of it a times, but it seems like a number of pastors and church leaders have some challenges right now. Maybe it's because everyone is still a bit tired from the Christmas to Easter dash we had this year. Maybe the general tension that seems to pervade out nation these days between campaign accusations and economic fears. People just seem grumpier. And, yeah, it just seems like it's going around. I was talking to a pastor serving right now on a leadership role outside of a local church, and she sais she's hearing lots of pastors with some problem or other that just seems frustrating. Maybe it all just goes in cycles.

Meanwhile, it's exciting to see all the amazing things that are happening in our church and conference...we get really good at obsessing when things aren't going perfectly and we sometimes forget to celebrate the successes, like people growing as a result of Bible studies, or people being drawn into the congregation through authentic relationships and programs that reach them where they are.

In our conference, new initiatives related to ministries with young adults, the Hispanic population of Frederick, and our continued relationship with United Methodists in places like South Korea (from where our congregation hosted a pastor and his wife last year) and the support our apportionments give to work in Liberia all remind us of our role in a much larger mission.

So it's cool to see that, to be reminded that growth--which is always a mark of life, and the absence of which is a mark of death--may include some "growing pains," but always draws us into exciting opportunities and new places to serve Jesus Christ.

Where have you seen God this day? I saw God while taking a brief lunch-time walk with my fiance Chris, near Harpers Ferry, WV. On the Maryland side of the Potomac River, we saw rocks which are normally dry and which form an otherwise rather dangerous-looking ravine down the side of Maryland Heights. Today, after recent rains, and with the sun shining warmly upon us, there was water flowing down the rocks in a series of waterfalls. Chris said, "Well, I guess God did alright with this." Indeed. Of course we talk about God's creation all the time, but sometimes we need to be reminded of it more explicitly. Yep, God did alright for sure.

:-) Sarah

Hymns and Such

So I'm right in the middle of getting together my worship stuff for a new sermon series I'm doing on Christian denominations...my current task is getting hymns chosen. It seemed appropriate to choose hymns from each denomination's history and tradition to use on that Sunday. That's an easy enough task for some denominations, but others (like Quakers) have been a bit more challenging. Even the Quakers have a hymnal, but since I don't own a copy, I've had to rely thus far on Google to find information. And as you know, that can be a bottomless pit of random information which is difficult to sift through.

One of our shut-ins, Helen Seek, who is one of the most internet-travelled people I know, has been suggesting to me for a while that I check out the website for a series she follows called Speaking of Faith. She has lately recommended their latest on the subject of parenting. Indeed, if you haven't heard of this series, you really should take the time to check it out. And I say that as one who kept putting off checking it out...

To learn more, visit http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/

I haven't listened to any of the broadcasts yet, but looking over the site, you quickly learn what a great balanced and comprehesive examination of religion this is. The topics range across religious traditions, and also delve more deeply into specific trends of each.

For example, in the show on the spirituality of parenting, host Krista Tippett interviews Rabbi Sandy Sasso. Rabbi Sasso shares about how children raise some important theological questions--like why there are here, and what happens when people die. And that there is often a lack of resources for parents and teachers to answer these questions.

You should check it out now. You're already online, reading this blog, right?

I find it one of the dichotimies of ministry, that people expect pastors to be the source of all manner of good recommendations for books, sites, etc., but it's often pastors who have very little time to just explore those things. My father, himself a pastor, is a good resource for me, and he is a voracious reader. But I really value people like Helen, my father, and those others who are able to pass along a good find...even if it takes me a bit to follow up on it.

Off to go hymn searching...

Sarah

Marathon Weekend

I'm finally resting a bit today after an insanely busy weekend! Saturday (after a late night helping at camp when the water went out in the lodges) was very full.

I led a marriage workshop 8:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m., using the Prepare-Enrich program. That's what I use with couples for premarital counseling, but it was my first tiem using it in a group setting, and also the first time I'd used it with married couples. It ended up going really well though, and I spent the times when couples were off on their own, helping one of our youth, who had very graciously agreed to babysit. It was a really great time, and the weather cooperated so that coupels could really be out an enjoying Manidokan while they were talking. And together as a group, we had soem good sharing, and all done with a sense of humor--just a great mix of people!

Once that ended, youth began arriving for the lock-in at camp. In the end, we had a small group, but we just had a relaxing evening (well, aside from a few of us helping Chris clean up from dinner service, since the cook had gone home sick). We sat around a campfire and grilled hotdogs, made s'mores, and it was nice, I thought, to have some laid back time. We got to bed before too late, but Sunday morning came quickly, and I plowed through the two services only to head back to camp to help set up and be there for the annual Manidokan open house!

It was after 6 p.m. before Chris and I were done, though things all seemed to go well. We had 50 people or so out for the open house, and though it was chillier than Saturday had been, I think it went really well! We were very blessed, since the deaf camp is moving to Manidokan this year after a long stint at West River, that two of their interpreters were there for the open house. We had a good number of deaf campers and their families stop by, and it was fun to see all the kids' excitement looking around camp! I had a great talk with one of the translaters, and learned a lot about deaf culture and I am really looking forward to that week of camp!

One of the youth who came to the lock-in, Eric, wants to become a pastor, so he definitely got a view of how crazy things can be! Sunday morning, as we munched on little donuts and waited for the girls to get ready to head to church, I had my laptop out, finishing up the slides for the 9 a.m. worship service. I usually have those done Friday, Saturday at the very latest, but I just had NO time. And once we got to church, it was a busy rush getting things ready for the thousand little things that needed to be done.

One of the things I've been struggling with lately, both in my own life and in hearing the stories of others, is the unkind, often hurtful way that Christians speak to and about each other. Hearing about people who aren't very active Christians who find themselves working in specifically Christian settings should lead, it seems to me, to hearing of a life-changing experience in which a person feels drawn themselves to follow Jesus. In reality, too often these accounts end with that person being turned off, having seen how Christians, for some reason, treat each other in ways that do not testify to Jesus' love at all. Petty comments, sarcastic and manipulative ways, and controlling people seem too prevelent in the Christian community. Now, none of us are immune from those sorts of behaviors. After all, they all tie into the basic understanding of sin as a focus on self, being turned inward, and not towards God (and by connection, others). What gets me are the people who act in these ways but think the rest of us don't know what they're up to. Or that others who simply abide their behavior actually support it.

As a pastor, I find that you are a target for all the problems people have, especially at church , and sometimes even beyond! People give the pastor a lot of credit for what they're able to do, to the extent that they blame us for things that don't go how they want (because who cares whether anyone else in the church wanted it another way) or they expect us to read minds (like knowing when they're upset when they don't come to us, or knowing what they expect us to do, and hence, being upset when we don't do something they never asked us to anyway). No pastor got into ministry to upset people (well, I don't think so at least) and yet it is impossible to be all things to all people. And each pastor has different skills, and at any time in the life of a congregation, there are different issues that (a) are pressinging and (b) that particular pastor is actually able and equipped to address. It is certainly easier for people to sit back and expect someone else to fix a problem. Or blame someone when they don't get their way.

All that said, there are always amazing people who will step up and take part in making their little piece of the ministry thrive. And people who will just come and graciously but directly share their concerns with you. There are indeed people who recognize the position that pastors (or really any leader) are in, and they will do what they can to help. I think the challenge is not to let the difficult and unkind among us to dictate how we ourselves will act. The desire to push back at them with the same immaturity that they come at us with is strong, but too many people have been pushed out of leadership because of the meanest and pettiest among us.

May we all, in the model of Jesus, not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. And may we all have the energy to make it through marathon weekends!

:-) Sarah

Flashbacks

So I happened to think earlier today of the great Blackwell flood of '05. If you weren't living in Blackwell dorm at Duke University then, you just cannot understand the craziness of having two floors on one wing of the building flood due to a water sprinkler (the ones to stop fires, but not, as one freshman found out, to hang coats on). I was saying to Chris that since we've been dating I feel like I've had really good, regular sleeping habits, since he is not apt to stay up late, and is an early riser, and so I'm usually home and asleep well before midnight. Unlike the night of the flood, when I stayed up ALL night while the rooms that were flooded were left open as their carpets dried.

So here is what ministry...esp. when you're a pastor dating a camp director looks like...sitting in front of your computer at 1 a.m. on a Friday night, using your last bit of waking energy after the water and sewage goes out in two lodges! Yes, that's right. Tonight of all nights. But of course...the night before our marathon of: Saturday day-long marriage workshop, then youth lock in, then Sunday worship, then camp open house. Then...well, hopefully nothing for 24 hours. It's an insane pace, and the call Chris got a period into the hockey game (which he was so happy to be able to sit down and watch) that one of the lodges was having water problems...well, that led to all sorts of commotion including calling Scott, the camp maintenance guy, who called a plumber, who discovered that the problems had (it seems to me having overhead just a bit) nothing to do with the new well being worked on today, and mostly to do with a filter and a sewage pump, and then somehow the pump had to do witha circuit...and well, when I left, it sounded to me like they were going to rig a wire somehow to make it work for now.

This is the stuff they don't teach you in seminary. That moment when you're trying to figure out how the kitchen will serve 3 meals to retreat groups if there's no water, and you can't really help because you've got to lead a marriage workshop (oh, and you're not even married...my mom gets a kick out of that), and you're wondering then if you shoudl just cancel the youth lock-in because you're not sure how many will actually show, and maybe there won't be water anyway. Yep. Thank goodness for working in residence life. When I had dropped off the large containers of drinking water Chris had asked me to, using the house water (and thus well) to fill them, I walked up to him and said hello, and he said, "So there's water everywhere." I didn't realize it was a question, and for a second thought the lodge they were near had flooded. I instantly flashed back to the Blackwell flood (and experience which sadly enough has already come in handy, when my parsonage master bedroom ceiling was leaking water the day I moved in!...I knew just what to do to dry it out and clean up) and I started listing in my head all the supplies we'd need, who to call, and what to do. Fortunately, he was just asking if I'd been able to drop the water off in each building.

Excitement. Life. Always something new, and unexpected! And sometimes sleep-depriving...

Friday Musings

Friday is my day off, though it usually means my day to catch up on my own stuff, and perhaps sneak in an e-mail or two. And it's also usually my day to help around camp, where my fiance is director.

Yesterday, in addition to the phone calls and e-mails that seem never ending, I got to visit some of our nursing home folks. Chris went along, and we had a nice visit with Joe Long, whose memory at nearly 89 is better than many people I know of any age! We stopped in to visit the Dinsmores, at their New Holland store in Ceresville. We also took advange of having lunch at Famous Dave's, the place we're having cater our welcome/rehearsal dinner for our wedding. Got to fit those little errands in where we can!

One of the highlights of my week is the women's study on Thursday nights...we've finished Bad Girls of the Bible, and have moved on to Really Bad Girls of the Bible. Liz Curtis Higgs, the writer, is just a hoot, and we have a great time. We get to study women who had all sorts of experiences, and each one brings up a new issue. Our study last night of Jael and Deborah led us to discussions of women is leadership, the men who support them, and gender roles in general. The story of Jael, which has her killing Sisera by driving a tent stake through his head, also brings up questions of violence, and demands the question of what situations might bring out the violent in us. I think there was general consensus that the truth is we don't really know what we're capable of...good and bad. And we all had experiences where we knew that the line between flipping out and being overwhelmed into passivity was thin indeed.

Meanwhile, I've been doing what I can to help as a member of the worship planning committee for annual conference. This year the bishop decided to aska group of young adult clergy to take on the task. It is a big one indeed, since Rev. Vivian McCarthy, who had led that in her role as conference staff, is now a district superintendent, and thus not able to do it. Trying to do Vivian's work indeed takes lots of us, though I think we started with two dozen pastors. That number has dwindled, and we've had less than a dozen at our past two meetings. Most people are still involved, and as we discussed at our last meeting, the time we'll really need all hands on deck is at Annual Conference anyway. I must admit I was unsure for a while there how it would all pull together, but I'm really excited now...with the orders of worship basically finalized, all the other pieces are much clearer to see, and I'm more confident than ever that we'll really be able to pull this off...though of course with a lot more work.

I didn't get a chance to send an announcement/update e-mail to the church yesterday, so that's my task for this morning, but hopefully I'll have that done quickly, and can move on to other things...like making and mailing a couple final wedding invitations and helping with flyers and planning for camp. At least it's awesome weather right now...

:-) Sarah

Introductions

After a somewhat unsuccessful attempt to maintain a blog for my church, I've decided it's just plan easier to keep one that is more personally mine. It will no doubt be similar to what I was writing for Jefferson UMC, where I serve, but also be a bit more casual, and thus, be more easily maintained! I just prefer speaking for myself rather than publishing "announcements" of upcoming events.

I must say I'm quite thrilled that Easter is over. It was wonderful, don't get me wrong. And at Jefferson, our kids and youth performed at the 9 am service, and it was awesome. But the short time between Chrismas and Easter this year was brutal. Really. And to be planning a wedding in the midst of that was rough!

So now, it's nice to be on the other side of it, but of course there's always something, and now is no different. My hope is that this blog will allow me to share with you some of what it's like for me, now as a young adult, female pastor in the United Methodist Church. I'm engaged at present, though my first two years, I was solidly single (like not dating, or anything...pretty much working 80+ hours a week!) And my now fiance...well, that's a whole other story I"ll have to write about later, but it involves me interviewing him for his current job!

Things have been crazy since I graduated from seminary in May 2005, then started serving as lead pastor on the Jefferson-Doubs Charge the next month. I have an assistant pastor serving at Doubs-Epworth UMC, and so I spend most of my time leading Jefferson UMC. We've seen some great growth, but our area is growing quickly and finding ways to reach the new people is challenging as we balance the things people are used to in the congregation. The interpersonal dynamics of any church is, as any pastor knows, challenging, and it reveals itself more and more the longer you're at a place.

I'll keep this blog up as often as I can, and I may end up posting more than once a day...so check back in, send your suggestions, and we'll see how this goes.

Oh, and if you're wondering why the blog is called "the Divine Passive," when I took Greek in seminary, I was intrigued by my professor explaining that when the passive form is used in the Greek, like "He was led to the desert," ("was led" being passive) is was called the divine passive...like it was evident God was known to be there as the one doing the action, even though "God" was never mentioned. That always reminds me, then, of how God is at work in our lives and our world in so many ways, even it's not stated, or sometime even clear. So that's how I think we live, in the midst of the divine passive...God at work!

:-) Sarah